New Additions to the Family
by slaquan
Summary: Follows the merging of the Spencer Rivera Family
1. Chapter 1

"Hello Natalia, this is Ava my I speak to my mom."

"Oh" was the only thing that came to her mind to say. Ava was probably only calling the house phone because Olivia had not answered her cell. Why else she risk talking to the so called Christian who left her mother broken and miserable. Natalia had not even the decency to make an appearance at her father's funeral although he had undoubtedly kept Rafe from and even longer prison term after being shot for doing his job. There were a few people that Natalia still kept front and center when her prayers turned toward confession but Ava had her own special edition. Olivia and Emma had only been in the home for the past two weeks and it was a miracle that she had gotten by this long before she was confronted with the pain that Olivia must had endured with Rafe when he refused to see their love as anything but sin and confusion. Rafe and Ava could not stop the love that the two women shared but there was the undeniable fact that both women would be irrevocably torn if the children opposed their joining. The worst part was that aside from the craziness with Gus Olivia had done nothing to warrant Rafe's ire and Natalia knew that sooner or later the kindhearted man she had raised would prevail against anger and ignorance. That was not remotely true of Ava. She had acted with total disregard to both Emma and Olivia and did not think middle Spencer would ever forgive the mistake.

"Um. . .Natalia you still there? Can I speak to Olivia or …"

"I'm so sorry. I know you must hate me." Natalia rushed out. Embarrassed to make Ava talk to her any longer than she must but she couldn't just keep pretending that everything was fine until it got closer and closer to the holidays. Either Ava would give lame excuses to be around the family or when she arrived her contempt would everyone uncomfortable. Worse Olivia would feel the need to protect her from her daughter's justified anger. So it was best to attempt to win over Ava now although she was under no illusion that this Spencer was any less bullheaded than the other two.

"it's fine I can leave her a ..what??"

"First I want to say how sorry I am that I didn't attend your father's funeral. There isn't any excuse that I can come up after your father was so good to Rafe after everything that happened."

"It's fine Natalia my dad would have. . ."

"and the for causing your mother to get to such a state that she had to send Emma to you. I know you have no reason to trust or believe me but I love your mother and your sister so much and I swear to spend my entire life proving that over and over to you."

"Wait…I think…"

"I will never hurt them again. I hope that someday you are able to see me as a friend and"

"Christ on a stick."

"you can find it in your heart to ..Ava! I understand that your angry with me but"

"Natalia, ha I'm sorry about what I said but it was the only way to get you to stop talking."

"Ava" Natalia whispered with tears in her eyes. Olivia had once said that their relationship could not stand if Rafe was opposed to them and she could only surmise the same would now be true because of Ava.

"Natalia listen, I'm not going to say that I understand everything that's going on between you and my mother but you know what…I'm the last person to criticize anyone who has been driven crazy by love. Remember me the woman who went to a sperm bank just to land a baby daddy and then happened to sleep with a black guy but married a white one."

"Ha, yeah that wasn't the smartest move." Natalia said almost doubling over with laughter.

"Yeah well as I was trying to say, I understand getting a little wacky. I just am hoping that now you are clear on what you want since my mother and sister are depending on you."

"Oh." It was laughable just how chaotic her emotions were at the moment. Seconds ago she had to move the phone from her mouth because of a snort and now tears were spilling down her face thinking of the enormous trust that Olivia had placed in her by sharing not only her heart but that of Emma's with a woman who had run away for 30 days without a single look back.

"Listen Natalia don't okay. Its over. You wigged out a bit but your back right? Right?"

A breathless "right." was the only response. How on earth would she ever make this up to them.

"Good. And I hear that I have inherited a baby sister and a 20 year old brother. Weird I always wanted brothers and sisters and now it seems I'm getting more ever day."

"oh Ava" The tearful phrase stood for so much while she was standing in the middle of the kitchen ignoring dirty dishes and unfolded laundry talking to the eldest daughter of her lover. It meant I'm sorry that you lost your father after just finding him. Or I'm sorry that I hurt your mother and sister and promise to never do so again. But most importantly it meant I don't know you very well but I promise to spend the rest of my life doing so not only because you are the daughter of Olivia and Jeffrey and the sister of Francesca and Emma and Rafe but because you are kind and good and strong.

"So could you ask my mom to call me later?"

"Of course sweetheart. So when do we get to see you again? I hope that your not thinking you only have to come on the holidays and major events because I have you know if that's the case I'm Catholic and there are a lot of holidays I'm going to expecting to see you."

Laughing Ava responded "As long as mom is paying for the tickets I don't mind racking up the mileage points. Actually I was calling mom to see if I could come out for a few days soon."

"Really?"

"Yeah I've been dealing with some things out here and I thought maybe it would do me some good to get away and what better place than to see my family. I was hoping that mom would convince you to let another kid in the house."

"Sweetheart you are always welcome here. Don't you ever think otherwise. I know that your mother would love to have you and Emma would be ecstatic."

"I hope so"

"I know so. Did your mother tell you that Emma has already gotten together a list of all the things that she and the baby are going to do together and this list is based off of all the things that you and Emma did together?"

"Really?"

"Yeah she is always talking about how she is going to be just like her big sister and even live in San Francisco."

"Well I can't wait to see her again that's for sure. So you really don't mind?"

"I really don't" Natalia said with a huge smile.

The next minute or so were spent going which days and times that she might be expected to fly into town but Natalia's was amazed at how wonderful it felt to have everything and everyone that was important to her reaffirm that she was important to them when she could have easily ended up alone and reviled.

She had a momentary start when familiar arms wrapped around her waist but when she leaned up to kiss and tasted tears she worried that the good feelings that had come with the phone call would be displaced. "Olivia what is it?" She said softly trying to read the face that now hidden by dark hair.

"Thank you."

"What?"

"Thank you for what you said to Ava."

"You don't have to thank me for"

"No I do. During most of my relationships my child and my partner were kept separate. As I look back on them I always kept Emma on one side and the guy was on the other. Even the men that I loved and married. And I know that if I had raised Ava it would have been the same thing because I never really trusted them. I didn't trust them with my whole heart or mind how could I trust them with my daughters. I didn't even realize I was doing it until I was listening to you talking to Ava and I could feel your love for her."

"Of course I love her and Emma. Just like you love Rafe and this baby."

"You say of course but I was married so many times and I never once wanted or even expected the person to love my child and I certainly never loved theirs."

"Olivia"

"No listen. I love you but I am hopelessly in love with our family. And I swear to you nothing and no one will ever mean as much to me as you and our children."


	2. Chapter 2

Lying in bed listening to Natalia shower Olivia remembered that she still owed Ava a call.

"Hello"

"Hey Avie"

Just like that a cloud descended over her head although it was bright and sunny outside and she briefly thought about saying that she was about to go through a tunnel but he had called her house phone instead of the cell. Earlier she was celebrating the expansion of her family seemingly over night. And it wasn't over, in a few months there would be one more. It seemed that the Spencer curse was lifting. Being a Spencer wasn't a sentence to cheap affairs and convoluted romances.

"So, A what time should I expect you tomorrow for the Richardson meeting."

Taking deep cleansing breaths and thinking serene thoughts Ava had the conversation that she promised herself she would never have again.

"I don't think that I will be coming in tomorrow Jake. I told you I was thinking about taking a break. That I needed a break from you. Not just from you but from everything you know."

"Ave, babe, I understand the whole friends thing but this is business you can't just take a break from"

Okay this time I swear I will never date my boss I swore to whomever listening above.

"A listen"

"No, Jake you listen. You can't just decide how I should act after you deign to inform me you love the wife and child I never knew about. "

"Ave"

"Jakie screw you. I trusted you. I was honest with you and all I wanted was for you to be honest with me."

"Ava listen I'm an ass okay but this is business and if we do this we stand to gain…"

" I'm taking leave. I don't know how long I'll be gone but I will forward that papers to Nancy. So…"

"Ave, I mean Ava, I'm sorry. Honestly I am."

The truth was that he was sorry and he wasn't a total ass. He had not told her was married with children but she knew that he wasn't actually available. He could never spend the night, he never came on weekends or holidays, and she was never invited to meet family and friends. She hadn't cared because right now was all that mattered. But somehow listening to her jaded mother gush, Olivia Freaking Spencer gush, about how much her life had changed because of her love for Natalia the daughter had changed. She wanted more because if Olivia Spencer could go soft well anything was possible.

"I'm not coming into work tomorrow okay lover boy."

"Got it sweetcheeks. When should we expect you in?"

"Sorry mom its been crazy lately. Do you think I could come out there for awhile?

The words were out before she even had a chance to think. "Define a while? Oh no Ava" Her eyes closed as anticipated the coming dial tone.

"You know what never mind."

"Ava, no honey"

"It's cool. I'll let you get back to sleep."

"Ava, Ava! please I'm sorry baby."

"Night mom."

"Oh my fucking God" Olivia said as she stared at the phone as f it had tricked her into making the stupidest comment in life to her daughter.

"20 bucks." floated into the room as Natalia walked to her side of the bed.

"Oh, Natalia why do you let me talk? I swear to God from now on your full time job after taking care of our children is speech writing Olivia said with tears in her eyes.

"What's wrong. Olivia honey?" Natalia asked holding the woman close.

"Ava listen sweetheart. You know me I speak before I think. I would love for you to come. I can't wait for you to come for as long as you want. Please just call me back. Please."

"Olivia?"

"I" olivia started her voice hitching as a shook her head. "I said the worst thing possible to Ava and now I don't know if she will. . . She stopped mid sentence as her phone displayed Ava's name.

"Hello Ava"

"Hey mom" was the soft reply

"Oh baby I'm sorry."

"It is okay I know you have a lot of things on your mind. I just wanted to stay for a while but if its not a good time."

"No, it's a great time. It's always an excellent time. We miss you so much. I just. Ava when should we expect you in? "

"Are you sure this is a good time because if its not"

"Oh no you are not getting out of this that easy. Since your not going to work tomorrow I will expect you here no later than noon."

"Well if your paying, ha"

"I'm always paying." Finally allowing herself to relax in Natalia's arms.

"Goodnight mom. Tell Natalia I said good night."

"Will do love. And I want to hear all the details about lover boy."

Mother!


	3. Chapter 3

Ava had spent twenty five years in one small town and had left it a grand total of two times before her final exodus and one of those times had been a 30 minute plane ride to the adjoining state. As a child she had dreamed of adventures involving travel to distant and exotic locations. Since going to Springfield and creating a new life she had put some serious mileage on her roller case. She had seen cities and countries that most of the people in her home town only read about in newspapers. It was not uncommon for her to have spent more time in airports and hotel rooms than she spent at her own home in San Francisco. But it never got old, yeah it got crazy and it got stressful trying to figure out time differences for meetings and how to possibly cram one more second in each day yet when she turned the key into her door it was never with a relieved sigh. More than once she stood in the doorway looking in with the feeling that she had somehow picked the wrong door. The key fit and the furniture looked right but it didn't feel like home. She had even spent her own cash to stay in rooms one extra day just so that she wouldn't have to go back and face that emptiness that she couldn't fill up with pictures or a Bose sound system. There was nothing particularly wrong with her condo. It had every amenity that the upwardly mobile and successful would want. Huge walk in closets. Amazing kitchen, high ceilings, balcony, even a freaking fireplace. Every single individual that had come inside its walls had fallen in love and looked at her with obvious jealousy and at first she had thought okay its just the newness. It just didn't have her personality yet. It just was the chaos that surrounded her life. And so she left that place and if possible found one even better. A friend had joked that she came close to slapping Ava when she had lucked up on her current place because it wasn't fair that she spent months trying to find some place livable and Ava had found spectacular without a realtor. Whatever the wrongness was she had packed it with the rest of her belongings and it greeted her each time she opened the door. "Hello you thought you could leave me" it said. "You thought that all the things you shove in here are going to cover up and fill this hole?" So standing in the doorway she tried one final time to feel at home.

Perhaps it wasn't airports that she really loved at all but the possibilities that they presented. Life screwed up in one location so what pack it up and go. Whenever she looked at the flight schedules she had the feeling that if she only picked the right destination she would end up where she was supposed to be. When she got to that place it would all make sense and everything that had troubled her would be explained. In that place she would suddenly realize why her mom had given her away to strangers rather than love her. She would know understand why her mother died living her alone and lost at 18. Why the men she loved always left. That's what she felt when she looked at the boards and after rechecking her flight to Springfield again she hoped it to be true.

"Mommy, Sarah is having a sleepover for her birthday and Brittany had one too. Can I have one for mine?" Emma placed the question to her mother but directed her pleading eyes to Natalia because she knew it was going to be differed to real decision maker.

"Umm Bean I don't think that right now is the best time for a sleepover honey. Why don't you get your things ready we can drop you to school"

"Okay but mommy" Emma started her voice rising higher with each syllable. Normally Emma was a complete angel but once she got a whine on it was comparable to someone raking the sidewalk as far as Olivia was concerned and since she had no desire to entertain a bunch of eight year old anytime soon it was best to distract her.

"Em did I tell you that Ava was coming for a visit."

"Really? Wow." Emma beamed

Natalia looked at Olivia positively estatic that her ears would not be abused for another couple of hours.

"When?"

"Today I think"

"For how long?"

"I don't know baby"

"When does she come in? Can I go with you to pick her up? Is she going to stay here with us? She can read me my bedtime stories. I can take her to see the new ducks."

"Bean." Olivia laughed "slow down. She won't be here at least until this afternoon so that means school for you bud."

The three of them rode to work with Emma informing them of Ava's complete itinerary for her time in Springfield. Olivia raised an eyebrow to Natalia wondering if her Ava was ready for her little sister. If Ava had any illusion that she going to laze around the house and enjoy the country air Emma was quickly going to disabuse her of that soon enough. Each time Ava stepped on the farm Emma felt the need to keep her apprised of any change no matter how small. Olivia still was awed by the fact that the relationship between them had none of the envy or jealousy that she had expected. Expected hell she had personally fostered. Time and time again she had made it clear to Ava that she only had one daughter during their earlier days, doing everything she could to make the young woman feel as dirty and expendable as she had felt on the night of her conception. By all rights Ava should hate Emma for getting everything Olivia had refused to provide her but she had not. She had loved her sister even when she had hated her mother. Her daughters were better than she could have ever dared dream and she wondered again if perhaps Natalia was right about her God.

"Em be sure to leave some time during the day for Ava to visit her friends enjoy Springfield."

"But I thought you said she was coming to see us"

"She is Bean but remember she's still got to spend some time with Colin and Reva and maybe her old friends."

The thought that Ava could have any interest in anything other her wasn't sitting too well with Emma as she looked at her frowning face through the rearview mirror.

"Sweetheart Ava is going to want to spend time with you don't you worry but don't wear her out too much she's kind old like your mommy and me" Natalia laughed.

"Nuuh she's not that old." Just like that after a few words from Natalia everything was okay. She's the best thing that ever happened to you Spencer and don't you forget it.

Rolling onto the tarmac in Springfield shocked her. She had never heard of Springfield in her life when she had bought a one way bus ticket to the town several years ago and that alone fact had sold her on it. If she failed and made a complete waste of her life there she could easily leave and no one would be the wiser. It was a nobody town for a trying to figure out how to be a somebody. After her mother had died she lost her only connection in the world and she had gone there looking an anchor and knowing that one way or the other her life would change. Entering the city again this time in first class section of a plane instead of the cramped backseat of a bus she felt again that life had skewed and Springfield was her chance to right it.


	4. Chapter 4

Emma spent the few minutes walking back to the classroom after recess filing away information she gathered from friends. She of course knew that when a mommy married someone else's daddy one could have brothers or sisters that weren't really brothers or sisters but you pretended that were. Kevin and Steven had taught her that sometimes a baby comes that was never in your mommy's stomach but is your real brother or sister forever. They were 'dopted. Grand mommies, aunties, even big sisters can be mommies. But after listening to her friends questions she realized she didn't know the answer to how her mommy had Ava then forgot about her. Would her mommy one day not remember her as well. Was this new sister in Natalia's belly real like Lizzy and James or would she be like Marrah and Shane only her family until her mommy and Natalia changed their minds? Finding out that her big sister was coming to visit had been an awesome start to the day but now thinking of Ava and the rest of her family made Emma feel sad and small. It was never up to her who was in her family or not. It had not scared her before thinking about Uncle Buzz or Bill joining her family because when they were gone her mommy remained. When Natalia left however Emma wondered if her mommy would not get sick again like when she was in the hospital. Her first night in San Francisco with Ava after Natalia had left she had cried not because she was so far away from her mommy because she had stayed with Ava alone before. No she had cried because for the first time she realized she alone was not enough for her mommy.

Ms Vanderson noticed that she didn't have to gently remind Emma twice to return the ball to the play area and get ready to go inside, hadn't actually reminded her once because she was the first one in line to return to the room, a first. Emma wasn't softly scolded on the differences between indoor voices and outdoor voices as they walked in the halls. Not once did she shake her head at the little girl when she would normally dart out of line to hug a favorite teacher or friend's parent.

"Emma, sweetie are you feeling alright?" Ms Vanderson asked bending down to sweep her hand across the clearly not sweaty forehead.

Her mom was in an important meeting if the workers were pulling rank to get out of interrupting even if it was for the arrival of the boss' much loved kid so she left to grab a meal and ran into Madame Mayor herself.

"So when are you going to get around to filling up that pothole in my neighborhood." Ava called out in as deep an growling a voice as possible. Still almost a foot away and she still heard the suppressed "shit" from Doris who had not yet turned around to face yet another beloved constituent. The woman in question physically narrowed her shoulders and she pictured the transformation the woman must undoubtedly make each time she was on the campaign circuit.

"Well hello I'm sorry to hear about….Ava??" She started, fake smile firmly in place. "You know you remind me more and more of your mother. And that's not necessarily a good thing." Doris said with her trade mark smirk.

"Yeah I'll remind her of that this time next year when your term is up and your trolling for votes."

"Yep a chip off the old hatchet. Does your mother know you wander her over priced hotel creating havoc for paying guests?"

"Yep she encourages it. Means that they will spend more money at her overpriced bar."

She conned Doris into joining her for lunch because if she had to wait around for her mom she might as well spend the time getting to know the only woman that her mother ever called a friend. Well a friend that she had not t slept with, competed with or blackmailed. Ummm she hadn't slept with that much she was certain but maybe after a few drinks she might find out a bit more about that angle as well.

That was one of the problems or maybe one of the perks of Springfield. This town was like one of those optical illusion posters. Turn this way and it's the woman who blackmailed your mother, cheated your father and was a general shit to everyone who had the misfortune to come into contact with her. But if you turned just a bit in the other direction here was the woman who championed and supported your mother to fight for a love that represented all that she hid her entire life from. Say what you would about Doris, the woman was never boring.

When Natalia gathered Emma in her arms as best she could considering her ever expanding girth she didn't feel warm or clammy. Looking into the child's eyes Emma didn't complain about a head or tummy ache. Emma wasn't saying much at all and that was the thing that had the teacher, nurse and the secretary at the office puzzled. The only time the little girl was quiet at school was when she was eating and even as hard as Natalia and Olivia tried to otherwise that wasn't always the case. Emma was not a loud child or a bother she was just the opposite but she was rarely if ever as shy and withdrawn as she appeared now. Not even when her mother was ill in the hospital or after moving out of the farm house had they seen her this upset so the adults decided that although Emma did not state she wished to go home early that it might be for the best.

"Sweetheart" Natalia tried again as they sat by the pond looking over at the ducks. "Do you think that you can tell me what's wrong now?"

Emma scrunched up her face trying to collect her thoughts. Although she loved her mommy she found it difficult sometimes to talk about things that upset her. Not because she was scared but because sometimes her mommy would not tell her everything because she still thought of Emma was a baby. Her mommy would never lie but at the moment she didn't feel that this was a matter that she could take the chance on missing any valuable information. Natalia would tell her everything but if she couldn't for some reason she and mommy would talk and then they would tell Emma the closet to real truth that adults would give to little kids.

"Is the baby in your stomach really going to be my sister?" Emma asked with her head bowed.

"Of course she is baby, why would you worry about that? You, your mommy, me, the baby, Rafe, and Ava are a family. Mommies and brother and sisters right? We talked about this before you and your mommy moved back in. Right?" Natalia said in Emma's ear.

"But"

"But what baby?"

"But what if you and mommy divorce. What if you decide you don't love each other anymore. Will she still be my sister or will"

"Listen to me Emma. I need you to look at me k baby" Natalia said moving the child's eyes to her own. "There will never be a time when I won't love you or Francesca won't be your little sister."

"But uncle buzz and uncle bill said"

"Well I'm not your Uncle Buzz or Bill. Ummmm I was going to talk to your mom about this first but I think that maybe we should discuss it first."

Emma looked up because it sounded like Natalia was going to ask her about an important decision and since that didn't often happen she was more than a little distracted from her worry.

"Do you think you can help me make an important decision?" Emma nodded her head up and down a bit excited about her first adult dilemma.

"Em you know that when I have this baby it's going to call me mama right?"

"Like what Rafe called you?"

"Right but you call Olivia mommy right?"

Again a nod.

"So I was thinking so the baby won't be confused maybe it might help the baby if you would call me mama like rafe so that then the baby would call Olivia mommy like you? What do you think?"

Emma didn't say a word when she wrapped her arms tightly around her mama.

"So you see sweetheart if you call me mama I can't ever leave you can I?"

Again Emma didn't say anything she just held on even tighter.

Ava insisted that since Doris had an expense account that covered official business that she pick up the tab because they did technically start off their meeting discussing a pothole.

"Wait a minute your mother owns the place but you want the citizens Springfield to pay?" Doris sneered incredulously.

"You should have thought of that before you ordered the most expensive thing on the menu."

They spent the meal laughing about the craziness that seemed to hover around every citizen no matter normal at first glance. Name by name street by street they dished the dirt and since one was a Spencer and the other a politician they were both privy to more dirt than most.

"Ah ah I keep getting complaints from the paying customers about the noise from this table."

Both women well on their way toward afternoon tipsey had not even the decency to look affronted until they saw the comment had come from a smiling Olivia.

"Hello daughter of mine" Olivia said while hugging and kissing the taller girl.

"I'll take that as my cue to get back to work."

"No Doris stay." Olivia called out.

"No I have potholes to fill. It was nice seeing you Ava. Call me later Spencer." Doris barked on her way out.

"Notice that she didn't pick up the check." Olivia said looking down

"Oh that's okay I'm going to have it mailed to her office."


	5. Chapter 5

Olivia was surprised by her feelings as she showed off the Beacon's improvements since Ava's last trip. The second to last trip really because the two days that Ava flew in for Jeffrey's funeral had been a blur of activity. First doing her best to swallow the constant ache of Natalia's departure and then figuring out the best way to impose her youngest daughter on the oldest just when Ava needed it the least. Olivia still felt slightly horrified that she had been so out of control that she had made her daughter take care of Emma when Olivia herself should have been taking care of them both. After leaving her ill son it seemed to Olivia that Ava could not rest long in Springfield. A day or two at with Reva a night or three with with Olivia and Emma and then Ava was running away to California with hardly a glance backward. Olivia understood that it was not personal, that Ava was not running from her family only the demons that haunted the seemingly sleepy town but it hurt nonetheless. Since conception it seemed that Ava had been upending her life. She had lived a relatively happy life without one thought to her first child but now and in spite of herself she found it ironic that most days did not pass without some thought to that child's welfare. Ava had bullied her way into her life and at one point not a single place Olivia could turn without her unwanted presence. Now it felt as if the roles had been reverse somehow and she was now the one running after Ava only to be spurned. No not spurned. They still talked often and in great detail about their lives and she always felt the smiles radiating through the phone lines but she had only had both her daughters near for two years and most of that time was spent filled with hate. She didn't begrudge Ava a wider life than Springfield had to offer but she did wish that the visits were not stretched over so long a distance.

"Wow mom you really have made the Beacon a success."

"Thanks, but I didn't do it alone I can't tell you how hard Natalia worked to make this happen. I honestly don't know how I would have done all of this without her."

"You would have been fine"

"Hardly" Olivia said closing the door after Ava. "Everyday that Natalia is gone I see more and more how she helped hold this place together."

"So why don't you ask her to come back? I mean she's an assistant to Philip but I'm sure that she would love to be back here. Just the two of you. Late night strategizing over clients crunching numbers….extended power lunches."

"Has anyone told you that you might have an office fetish?" Olivia asked with a horrified look.

"I guess it must be genetic cause I seem to detect a your pupils are dilating just considering the possibilities."

At that Olivia threw back her head snorting laughter. "Have I told you how happy I am that you're here?"

Ava blushed and looked down. "Why haven't you asked her to come back to work mom? You two obviously worked well together you even managed to make it work while you were figuring your out your romantic relationship. Never an easy fea ."

"Ava we haven't actually sat down and talked about it but I think she needs to know that she can succeed on her own. That it wasn't just her doing this job so well because of our feelings for each other. Because she wanted to do well for me you know? And as long as at the end of the day I'm the one she comes home to I don't care where she works or even if she works."

"Ha I doubt you would get her to agree to not working."

"No, not yet but after the baby's born she's going to take a few years off to take care of her and Em."

"Awww my mom I never knew you were so chauvinistic."

"Guess that's why I never made a good wife because I secretly wanted my own."

As Ava walked around the office Olivia heard herself saying something that she had definitely never planned to say out loud. It wasn't even something she would say to herself much less to her daughter but editing was never her strong suit.

"Work for me"

"What?" Ava laughed almost dropping one of the plaques she was admiring.

"Work for me" Olivia said louder this time.

"Mom I know you need an assistant but not even if you tripled my salary."

"I'll do better than that I'm offering you your own office and parking space"

"I'll send my notice to my boss tomorrow" Ava said turning back to the plaque dismissing her mother.

But Olivia wasn't kidding. She had everything she had ever wanted. Everyone Olivia loved was within arms distance except her oldest kid. Olivia had no idea how Ava acted when she was ill. Olivia didn't know what Ava did when she vegged out and didn't want to be bothered. The first 25 years of her life had been dispersed like dandelion seeds and she felt as if distance was robbing her of what was left.

"I'm serious Ava" Olivia came around the desk to stand in front of the woman.

"Mom"

"Listen. You've told me how you long to do something else. To have be a part of something bigger. What can be bigger? As soon as I get this hotel just like I need it I'm going to expand and franchise. I'm offering you an opportunity that comes once in a life time."

"Mom, not trying to put Natalia but I don't want to be anyone's personal assistant."

"No of course not. Natalia was just starting out. I'm thinking something a bit different for you. I want you to be my partner."

"Partner?? are you fucking kidding me?"

"That's twenty"

"What?"

"Christ Natalia's got me doing it. Fuck is twenty dollars in the swear jar."

"I'm guessing taking the lord's name in vain is a fifty uh."

"I'm serious. You can do this I would never offer this to you if you weren't."

"We would kill each other."

"No we work well together you know that well enough from all the schemes we did together."

"Are you serious or are you only doing this because I sort of quit my job before finding a replacement."

"Ava your smart. You are a hard worker and you know how I think. And most importantly I can trust and depend on you. Come on think about it." Olivia smiled allowing herself to imagine the two of them together, Spencers against the world.

"Mom what about Natalia."

"What about her?"

"What if she wants to come back."

"Ava I told you that Natalia isn't interested in working here again. Even if she did I don't think she would ever want to take on this type of responsibility. I don't mean to say that she couldn't do it but I think that when Natalia gets back to work after the baby its going to be for herself. Ava one day this is going to be yours. Yours, Emma's, Rafe's and Francesca's."

"Your serious about this family thing?"

"Of course I am" Olivia barked daring even her daughter to scorn her family.

"Hey I'm not complaining. I'm…never mind what I am. I just want you to be happy and if its with Natalia and her baby"

"Our baby," Olivia said tears threatening with the fear that she was wrong that her daughter really wasn't as supportive of her mother's new life as she had first said.

"Your baby. My new baby sister" Ava said reaching out and touching her mother's face willing her to believe that she was one hundred percent on board and holding her mother's hard stare with a smile until the older woman nodded and smiled.

"Ava I miss you. I know its not fair I know you have every right to build a life where ever you want but I miss you. I sit around the table and I miss us having girls nights out. I miss you and Emma waking me up to go shopping when I'd rather be asleep."

"Can I think about it?"

"Yeah of course you can" Olivia said hoping that she didn't overwhelm the girl. "You know if you really can't endure Springfield you can stay San Francisco although I would rather Chicago it would still work. Sooner or later its going to fall to you anyway to make sure the Beacon is a Spencer family legacy."

"Mom your not sick again are you?"

"Noo. Now enough of that now tell me about that other Spencer trait you inherited. Your latest love life disaster."

"Very funny mother."


	6. Chapter 6

In honor of Ava visiting and Olivia coming home so early it was decided that the family would make use of the last remaining warm days of the year and grill outdoors. First they had to halt the inch by inch government certified farm inspection Emma ran for Ava's benefit. After 45 minutes detailing the new verses the returning ducks the scent of the Buzz Burgers overcame the child's usual perfectionism. Sitting at the table waiting to begin the prayer the Spencer's teased each other who sounded the most like each farm animal but Natalia put an end to it because if someone made any reference to her and a cow there would be heck to pay.

Emma was enjoying not only having being the center of attention because she was the baby but was looking forward to the idea being the big sister to someone else. Someone else would ask her questions. The baby would look up to her as she looked up to both Rafe and Ava. Ava feared that she would feel out of place not only because of the time away from her family but also because she had never really seen her mother in a relationship since their reconciliation. That an her mother was a lesbian or bi or what the hell ever. She lived in Francisco she'd witnessed chics deep throating each other more times than she cared to remember but it was still icky to think of her mother sexing anyone. However she had to admit the connection was so strong that it was hard to picture them any other way. The fact that the attraction had gone unnoticed for so long was astounding now that she observed the two. And she did look hard if the head shakes her mother was giving her was any indication. For Natalia it was the meal was bittersweet. Hard to take because she saw what she and Rafe had gone without for so long. There was never anyone at mealtimes for Rafe to tease or pester. There was not another adult for Natalia to share her pride and her consternation with. Although she would never regret the times they shared she wished she could have provided him with this. It seemed too good to be true for Olivia. Both her daughters home and happy and Natalia healthy and pregnant with another girl to spoil. Even Rafe accepting if not understanding was mind boggeling so she sat laughing and hoping (praying) for it not. Not to end, not to disappear not to shatter as it always had.

Sorting through the DVD cases Olivia thought back over drama of the day trying to wind down enough so that once she made the journey upstairs with Natalia she would be able to leave it all by the bottom stair. Once she made it to her bedroom the only thing that she wanted to focus on was the woman that would be beside her tonight and every night for the rest of her life. The Peter's debacle finally settled. Check. The spreadsheets inspected check.

"Olivia I think maybe we should talk more about Emma being sent home today"

"I thought you said she wasn't ill". Olivia said with some concern looking up the stairs towards the room where both her daughters were no doubt reading.

"No she wasn't but she was upset enough that the teacher felt it best she come home". Natalia said slowly pacing herself for immediate tension that would flood her lover. Olivia allowed the world slip ups but one that was never tolerated was Emma being upset.

"Emma upset by what" Olivia said with a tight voice.

Immediately Natalia took her now stilled hand from the DVD collection and led her their bedroom

"No tell me now" Olivia said refusing to budge because she didn't want to break that promise to herself not yet. Downstairs was for problems upstairs was for bliss. "why was Emma upset."

"Apparently some children were talking about different families".

"I swear to God if stupid bigot's kids made a remark about some lesbos I'm going to go down to that school"

"Would you stop. I never said anything like that"

"Then why don't you tell me exactly what did happen." As soon as she said the words she could feel the artic drift coming off of Natalia as she wrapped her arms around herself.

"I'm sorry ok. I'm sorry." Olivia reached her hand up towards Natalia as she sank into the sofa just as she hit the cushion the hand was tangled in Natalia's.

"Emma had some questions about how permanent our family really was."

Head bowed Olivia considered just how remarkable it was that her daughter even bothered to get close to Natalia at all since every other individual that her mother promised would never leave was no longer around. She had tried to keep Emma as sheltered as possible from the fallout of her capricious heart. "She wondered how long this forever would last and considering my track record"

"Hey don't this could very well be because of the disappearing act I pulled. It doesn't matter why ok. She and I well I made a decision that by all right I should have discussed with you first but I just thought that maybe it would be best if" Natalia trailed off.

"Spill".

"I askedEmmatocallmemama" Natalia said turning her body from Olivia.

"Umm??? You asked Em to"

"Call me mama. So that when the baby came it wouldn't be confused. I should have talked to you about this I know."

The oldest Spencer reacted similarly to the younger on this topic except the kiss was no where near as passionate from Em and there was definitely no tongue.

"Get a room you two".

"We have a room a whole house in fact" Natalia said surprising even herself.

Blushing and shaking her head she reported that she had been spending entirely too much time with the other two women and kissed both on her way upstairs.

"Sooo."

"I'm wide awake and something tells me you both are too so I'm probably going to head out."

"Ava don't worry there are heavy duty ear plugs by the night stand"

"Oh God Moooom"

"Sorry sorry" Olivia joked holding both hands up

"I hope you're offering a decent health care plan if I have to deal with stuff like this from now on"

Immediately Olivia sobered. "Your serious?"

"What if I am"

"Ava"

"Yeah I am. I miss Emma and Colin. And I'm remembering what a good friend Natalia was to me before you decided to go after Gus. And you know we do work well together. I know you aren't going to want to travel as much as required to franchise the Beacon. So why not."

"What don't I rate a miss you? Your own mother? Jeez"

"That's ten."

"Don't you start".

Are you still offering?

Extending her hand Olivia grinned. "Just as long as you're willing to work hard the offer still stands."

This was the second time Natalia came into the room to find Olivia lying on top of the comforter day dreaming. Usually by the time Natalia showered Olivia was undressed under the covers watching the door expectantly.

"What's up?"

"Ava. I asked Ava to be my partner at the Beacon and she said yes" Olivia said smiling. It was not one of her usual smiles she wore when discussing one of her children. Usually that smile was radiant and filled with awe and wonder. It was proud and fearless. But this smile was a shy one and hesitant and left Natalia puzzled.

"I didn't know you wanted a partner."

"I didn't not until I thought about it but sooner or later its going to be for the kids anyway why not have her in on it now."

"That's true. So her saying yes is a good thing right."

"Yeah the best"

"Then why doesn't your smile say that?"

Breathing deeply Olivia turned on her side facing the woman but at the same time hiding her face behind a pillow. "I. I." shaking her head and clearing her thoughts "I never thought I'd have more. I never wanted more. Me money and Emma that was all that mattered. Everything else was just that, something else but never essential. I couldn't afford to want more and now"

"Now" Natalia repeated moving the pillow and brushing away the hair.

"Now I look at my life and I don't recognize it and it scares me. What if"

"Don't. don't do that. There is no what if only right now. Now."

"Now" Olivia repeated pulling the other woman closer.


	7. Chapter 7

The smile she had walking past her mother slide cleanly off once the front door was firmly shut behind her. Dinner had been a fun filled affair with everyone laughing and gently teasing each other. Ava admitted that she served most of her volleys towards Natalia only because she was just such an easy target. That and her mother was shameless. It was a talent that she didn't know if she should try to acquire or not but it did lessen the likely hood of being ganged up on so there might be something to it after all. Natalia took it all much better than she expected. At first Ava had almost apologized fearing that once again her lack of tact had hurt the woman but when she saw that the flush was not only from embarrassment but also from the exertion of not laughing she relaxed. If she ever went over the line she didn't think her mother would hesitate to inform her. Not that Natalia was shy. Natalia let a few choice words fly both toward the oldest two Spencers. When Natalia asked her with not even the slightest smirk if she ever had a enjoyed a fish taco since living in San Francisco Ava almost swallowed an ice cube. Olivia was not as obvious but did let her mouth open and close a few times without uttering a word. So dinner was a success by all accounts even to Emma who missed out on 95 percent of the lesbian innuendo.

She had a feeling that Emma knew she was missing out on something by the way the girl took over the second part of the evening, movie night. Emma sat the parents down in the living room to ready the DVD, instructed Ava to pop the corn as she poured the drinks. Once the bowl and the napkins and everything was to the nine year old's liking Ava walked it to the sofa that held her mom on one side Natalia on the other and Emma in between the two. She handed the bowl to Emma and was on her way to a side chair when someone grabbed her wrist and pulled. Landing on the three she was tickled until she warned them about becoming wet from more than a kool aide spill. It should have felt awkward her sitting among the three of them. It should have felt forced but it felt…it felt anything but. So much so that she didn't stop to consider her being wrapped up with the pregnant religious lover of her mom, a mom who just a couple of years ago detested her and whom she thoroughly hated and a 9 year old. But it felt as if she had grown up with the women and it was a family tradition that was continued every time she came home.

As the credits were rolling Emma pulled her up and informed everyone that Ava would be reading to her and tucking her in just in case anyone was misinformed. After hugs and kiss all around she skimmed over the Learning Tree expecting to see a smiling face as she neared the bed.

"Em what's wrong" she asked startled. This was not the same face from five minutes ago. "it can't be that bad going to bed." she joked

"Ava can I asked you something"

"Of course honey. You can ask me anything you want".

"Do you cross you heart to tell the truth."

"Emma I will never lie to you," Ava said putting down the book and taking the smaller hands in her own.

"Why did mommy forget about you?"

"What do you mean? she didn't forget about me." Ava said to Emma's hair and bending down to try and catch her sister's eye. Once she was the tears she knew something was about to happen that she didn't think anyone was ready for.

"Em"

"Mommy forgot you. You were a stranger before and then mommy said you were my sister."

"Oh Emma I think maybe you should ask mom about that."

Usually whenever she told her baby sister no, rare though it maybe, it wasn't an easy fix. The chic wasn't a Spencer for nothing. But this time instead of trying to wear her down Emma just closed her eyes and turned over and said calmly told her to leave.

"Okay listen. I." Ava stopped then shook her head to clear it "how about this. You and I will talk about this some, Some. but later mom and I will talk and then you, me, and mom will talk. How is that?"

She just turned back over to indicate Ava could continue.

Before she could go down the stairs Ava went to the restroom to wash her face and inspect her face. She wanted to know if her mother would be able to tell if something were wrong immediately. It wasn't that she was afraid really. Her mother was very protective of Emma to be honest Olivia was protective of them both but she was not under the false impression that there was not one child that was easier? more natural? to love. Olivia wouldn't banish her from their lives but the next few days could strain that love in ways that she had hoped the two were past. If she were going to have to have this struggle so soon after loosing her father then she wanted at least to keep this day untainted. When she looked back on it this day would serve as a reminder of all she had gained instead.

Springfield isn't an easy place to get lost in if you had been here more than a day. Every major road was within 5 minutes of the others. It was especially hard to go unnoticed if you happened to be a Spencer. So instead of wasting time on evasions Ava walked up to the Towers bar and sat at the center and ordered a proceeded to order two martinis extra dirty.

"You really are related uh?"

"Doris." Ava said instead of a greeting as she drained the glass. She ordered another without turning around or acknowledging the woman.

"You might want to try tonic or better yet throw a pretzel or two in between."

"When I need your help passing an ordinance I'll let you know. I am well acquainted with getting drunk."

Ava didn't know that Doris stood behind her chair for another minute or two debating the wisdom of her next move but once she made up her mind she rubbed her face and gritted her teeth.

"To tell you the truth I'm probably much better at the one than the other than I'm comfortable admitting."

"Listen. I'm busy." Ava said spinning around on the stool. "So what do you want?"

"I'd like to stop you from making a situation even worse by getting drunk."

"You don't have any idea what the hell your talking about so go deal with the people that get paid to cater to you. I'm a big girl. Just because you and my mom came to some sort of truce doesn't change the fact that you hate me okay. So if you're butting in for her forget it. It you're doing this as some twisted way even up the score with my dad you can just forget that too. Its cool we are even Stevens."

"I'm here because even when we hated each other we could always be honest to each other" Doris said stopping the other woman from attempting to wobble away. "Whatever it is wouldn't it be better to at least talk it through with someone before you get your self smashed."

"Can you drive?"

"Yeah I was here for a business meeting"

"Did you at least pay this time."


	8. Chapter 8

Olivia was almost chipper when she finally rolled out of bed 30 minutes later than Natalia. Coming down the stairs the excitement she had for coffee narrowly beat out on the excitement of introducing her daughter to the Beacon officially. No there wasn't an official date and no she still didn't know if she was going to locate to Springfield (dream), Chicago (next best thing) or stay in San Francisco but her Ava agreed to become a partner and that almost reason enough to look forward to getting up in the morning. That and Natalia and Em.

"Morning Bean" she yell out to the blur that was racing up the stairs. "No running in the house by the way"

A "Sorry" was mumbled.

"Where's the fire" Olivia whispered in Natalia's hair before she turned the woman around to properly greet her.

"That girl. I told her to let Ava rest but she decided that she had to use the restroom right away.

She wanted to get her up 30 minutes ago but I tried telling her that Ava was probably in no mood to get up so early but you know bean"

"Well good. Don't want her thinking that she can come in any time she wants just because she's the bosses daughter." Olivia winked as she sat down.

"Mommmmmmmmmmmm"

"Emma stop yelling"

O"livia stop yelling" Natalia sighed as Emma came down the stairs.

"Em Ava isn't used to waking up so early. I told you about the time difference she'll be up later."

"Mama Ava didn't go back to California did she?" At first Natalia didn't respond until Olivia "uh humm" in her direction.

"Of course not Em" Natalia blushed but not sure for what reason.

"Where is she" Emma asked

"Natalia told you not to disturb your sister."

"I didn't I just peeked in but she wasn't there."

"She probably couldn't sleep and got up earlier" Olivia reason frowning. She had woken up looking forward to eating breakfast with the new addition to the family and getting her involved with the company. She went to the bedroom door looking at it sheepishly. Emma told her that Ava wasn't in the room but she didn't want to burst in case she had recently gotten back to the room. A snooping mother would in no way help encourage her daughter to relocate.

"Ava. Ava" she knocked and finally opened the door. Emma was right she hadn't slept in the room at all.

"Olivia I think we should have a family talk."

"What? Now? We both have to get to work and Emma has to get to school.? Trying to understand how the two downstairs had gained such long faces in the short time she was upstairs.

"That can wait. We all need to talk."

"Is Ava mad at me mama?" Emma asked tears spilling down her cheeks.

Olivia's throat went dry.

"No of course not." Natalia assured calmly. Olivia tried to focus on that soothing voice but it was a near miss because one of her babies was missing and the other was crying so she forced herself to trust that Natalia would soon make everything clear.

Once she fully work up she promptly shut her eyes anticipating the agony of the expected headache. She had vague recollections of the past few hours but her mouth tested like the ass end of the horse and although the headache was no where near what she feared her stomach has having its own revolt. Towers, martinis and Doris. Funny saying it twice still didn't give her the immediate sense of doom that would seem warranted. Doris drove them to her own after Ava gave her a sobriety test although how she was any judge is arguable after she assure the younger woman that she had the required amounts of vodka and olives and vermouth. Hell just the vodka would do in pinch. Never trust a politician because none of the three were there but there was gin. Sooo. Short story made shorter. Drunken nakedness ensued.

"Are you going to puke?"

"No are you?"

"Umm I sure as hell hope not until I get to the toilet."

"Need help?"

"Can you help?"

"Well I don't think I could hurt, much"

The two women somehow got themselves into the bathroom on the tile but at least it was near the toilet. Five minutes later they both lay in the bottom of the tub as the shower fell from above.

Holding Emma on her lap Olivia thought back on the absolute terror in the girl's voice at the thought that she had somehow angered Ava enough to send her back across country without a word.

She had known sooner or later Emma want to know the details hidden from her about Olivia's and Ava's relationship. She still did not know that Ava was the result of rape. Olivia told the girl as much of the truth without divulging that item as possible, one day of course it would come out but hopefully that was another seven to eight years away. No she told the girl that she was young and alone when she was pregnant. That she was scared and had no way to buy her the things she needed. She left out the anger and hate and wished that they had never been a part of the story. Ava grew up with a mother who loved her who could also provide what the young Olivia could not but she did not tell her that at the time she would not even if of age with means. And no Olivia could never forget Ava again just as she would never ever forget Emma or Francesca. No the three, the four really when Rafe was included, and he was always included even if not mentioned, could not unremembered just as the color of the sky or the sound of the ocean could be forgotten.

"You, your sister Ava. Your brother Rafe are my life sweetheart just as Francesca will be"

"Ava doesn't hate at me?" This worry stuck even when the fear of abandonment by Olivia was abated.

"No. You know how I know she doesn't baby?" She said praying that the other girl had not changed her mind

"What?"

"Ava is going to be coming home more often because she loves you so much."

"She is"

"Yep she is."

Since Ashlee no longer lived five minutes away Doris' grocery shopping habits were in disrepair. There was a block of cheese, oatmeal, and 1 egg in the house. Well all that they did no have to risk a trip to Cedars by eating. They were going to rock paper scissors over the egg and oatmeal but Ava decided that they should share them both and since she was cooking that's what happened.

"Doris maybe we should talk"

"That's what got us into this mess in the first place talking" Doris groused as she make quote marks in the air when she said talking. Then she smiled in spite of herself.

"I don't regret what happened"

"Wha??"

"Not saying that it should happen again though"

"Hey"

"Ha. You're a good friend Doris."

"I'm sure your mother would have a small seizure if she knew just how friendly."

"Funny I didn't feel the need to tell her the first time we slept together all those months ago and I don't feel the need to tell her now. don't worry"

"Easy for you to say." This time the smile didn't reach her eyes. "Olivia is my best friend. Hell she is my only friend."

"So if I weren't Olivia's daughter this could work?"

"Ava I care about you. I always will be we are in different places right now. It would"

"Stop okay I'm not disagreeing. It's not what either of us need right now but I still don't regret it."

"I don't regret it either I just wish"

"What that you could dish with my mom" Ava laughed

"I just wish it didn't complicate things."

"It won't we won't let it."

"What about when you start living here."

"She might take it back after what happened with Emma."

"Listen to me Ava your mother loves you. She isn't the same person that gave you up for adoption or that tried to have you killed. She loves you" the older woman said while placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Thank you."

Olivia tried calling Ava twice but the answering service kept picking up. Was she wrong to promise that Emma would be seeing more of her sister. If only she could get the girl to understand that she wasn't angry. She didn't want to assign blame she only wanted to move past the hurt and confusion of the past. Going to work was usually just where she headed when she wanted to forget about life troubles but since yesterday work meant a wider and deeper connection to Ava. Natalia had already walked away from the Beacon she didn't know if she could stand loosing Ava before she had even officially come aboard. She shared everything good, bad and in between with Natalia but sometimes she just needed to say fuck and shit and just sometimes she needed to vent to Doris. God help her she needed to work this out and for whatever reason it was it would help talking it over with Doris.

"Okay so when you see the check come in to city hall don't act surprised."

"If that check comes to city hall I won't be the only getting a surprise" Doris promised with an evil grin.

"Yeah yeah." Ava said walking out the door.

"Just talk to her okay."

"Okay"

"I do love you you know."

"Yeah I know how could you not."

"Bite me"

"Already taken care of." Ava said with a final kiss as she walked out.

OhMYFUCKING GODD!!!!!!!!!


	9. Chapter 9

She bumped her head and was actually in the Shady Pines psychiatric hospital. That was the only logical excuse because her daughter and Doris Fucking Wolfe were not having an affair behind her fucking back. "I'm going to kill her" she said to quietly but she wasn't too sure of which her she meant. A quick check in glove compartment came up with nodda. When she sent Emma to stay with Ava during her breakdown she got ride of the alcohol hidden there for emergencies. If she had to face her daughter with that backstabber Doris Fucking Wolfe there wasn't likely enough alcohol in the entire state of Illinois. The more she thought of it sitting in her car watching the house from across the street the more incensed she became. Not recognizing that Ava was in crisis the girl went to her mother's supposed friend for support, her dammed best friend. Instead of respecting her friendship with Olivia like any normal person would do this twisted bitch used Ava as an easy lay. Obviously the lesson had been forgotten, do not Fuck with my family but Olivia had not problem doing some remedial training and with that thought she stalked over to the door.

She missed two calls from her mom and three from Natalia and didn't even bother listening to the voicemail, both women would be pissed Natalia hopefully would be more diplomatic about it. However from past experience she knew the Latina could be scary when protecting members of her family. "What a way to reintroduce myself to my new step mother. I wonder if I should just make it easier on everyone and leave town now?" but she knew leaving was exactly what Emma was stressed about so she would have to face the drama if only to avoid hurting her sister. Delaying the inevitable fallout for a few more moments she ran into Blake at the corner coffee shop.

"Supporting the enemy camp" Ava said as she walked behind the petite redhead.

"Ava" Blake said smiling "How long have you been in town?"

"Just since yesterday. I needed to get away for a while so I came to see the family"

"How long are you here for?" and as she was topping her mocha another redhead, even smaller than the first, rushed at Ava almost causing her spill her espresso.

"Clarissa slow down. If they had a way to bottle her energy I would be only need it once a week."

"Ava" the girl said as she hugged the woman. Normally Spencers would not be someone privy to a hug by a Mahler but since Clarissa and Emma we very good friends she made an exception. "How is Emma is she still sick. She left school early I didn't get a chance to say goodbye yesterday. I left school early today for a doctors appointment. Do you think I could come by the farm Emma said there were ducks. Momma why can't I have a pet Emma has ducks, and cows and even a goat. I want a dog but momma said we don't have the time to take care of them. You came all the way from San Francisco? I haven't ever went there. Emma said she stayed with you there for a while. I wanna go one day."

"Clarissa breathe" Blake laughed

"Momma can I get a muffin I want a blueberry one or maybe banana." And then she was off exploring another section of the store forgetting all about Ava.

Blake continued to laugh as Ava was still trying to process all the information hurled at her.

"I don't see how you have the energy to work three jobs I would have to take speed just to keep up with her fulltime."

"And that's how she is after getting an allergy shot. Imagine how she is at hundred percent health."

"Tell me the truth you, you have a meth lab in your basement."

"Momma I wanna strawberry banana oneeeee."

"I wish" Blake said following the sound of her daughter. "Hey talk to your mom Clarissa has been asking about a play date with Emma. Tell her to call me."

Doris opened the door surprised to see Olivia at the other side.

"What are you doing here?"

"Is that anyway to talk to one of your dearest friends?" Olivia asked walking inside the home.

"What's up Olivia did something happen with Ava?"

"What makes you think I'm here about Ava" Olivia stared at Doris looking at her as if she were seeing her again after many years apart.

"I don't know just wondered. So do you want something to drink" Doris asked trying to get some distance between her and Olivia. Maybe she was paranoid but Olivia was acting as if she knew she were hiding something from her.

"I'd like to know why you assumed I'm here about Ava. I mean she just came into town why would you think I would have anything to discuss to you concerning her. It's not as if you two are friends. You were scheming against her even before you started in on me an Natalia."

She knew dammit. Ava and she must have talked or something and she knew. Fuck a duck Ava didn't even call to warn her.

"What's on your mind Olivia" Doris said with a sigh because she knew this discussion wasn't going to be over without some blood shed might as well get it over with.

"I want to know what the fuck you have to say for your self. Not going to ask what I'm talking about? Why I'm so upset madam mayor."

"I'm sure you will tell me soon enough."

"Oh you bet your ass I will. I cannot believe I was deluded enough to consider you a friend my best friend in fact. My daughter was upset and instead of being a good friend to me you used that to get her into your bed."

"Olivia"

"Fuck you. Don't you dare deny it."

"Since you already have it worked out in your head what occurred why are you even here."

"I'm here to put you on notice stay away from Ava. Unlike you I will respect even this joke of a friendship but if I catch you anywhere near her I will destroy you."

"Glad to see that you think so highly of me"

"What I think is that you are a pathetic excuse of a woman who saw an opportunity to sleep with a pretty young thing and you didn't even care who got hurt. I mean it Doris your using my daughter to add another conquest to the list borders on pathological. I had thought you were the one person aside from Natalia and my girls I could trust and depend on. I guess I was wrong about that too."

Using backdoors she knew from working here a lifetime ago Ava entered Natalia's office. It paid to be friendly with the security.

"Hey"

"Good morning. How are you? We were worried when we woke up and realized you didn't come home last night."

"Sorry about that" Ava said shyly. That was another issue all together best to handle one problem at a time.

"So how are you?"

"I'm good. How are mom and Emma? Is mom mad at me?"

"Why would you think Olivia is mad at you?" Natalia asked genuinely surprised that Ava considered that a possibility.

"I know that Emma was upset last night and this is the last thing mom wants to deal with. If she doesn't want me to be a partner now I understand."

"Okay wow your scaring me. Sit down."

"No I should go you're busy "Ava said still standing in the doorway.

"Sit down and shut the door." Waiting until Ava sat down in front of her desk Natalia got up to take Ava's hands. "First your mother is so excited that your becoming a partner she was practically beaming this morning." At Ava's shocked expression she amended. "Okay as much as Olivia can beam in the morning. Second your mother loves you."

"I know"

"Then you should know that she isn't going to just dismiss you from her life because you had a talk with Emma about something everyone knew was going to come up sooner or later."

"Yeah but I shouldn't have been the one to talk about it with her"

"Your right it should have been Olivia." At that Ava sunk even lower in the chair. "Olivia should have had this conversation with Emma long ago and she wanted to apologize to you this morning for making you take on that responsibility. "

"Wait apologize to me?"

"Yes we both owe you and apology. Emma had those questions for a while. It was only a matter of time before she wanted some answers. My running away didn't make her confusion any better. We hoped that the four of us could have talked it out together."

"I'm sorry I didn't come get you both last night when she asked me."

"I wish you had too then maybe you wouldn't think that Olivia wanted you to leave. She was frantic this morning worrying where you were and if you were alright, sweetheart. We both were."

Ava leaned over and wrapped herself around her third mom. "Sweetheart don't ever think that your mom or I won't be there for you. You might do things that we disagree with but we will always stand by you and love you."

"I love you too Natalia but I think it would just look weird for me to call you mama."

Natalia laughed agreeing.

Doris was in company looking as depressed as she had the day Ashlee ran away after she told her she was gay.

"The salad can't be that bad"

"Leave me the hell alone Blake."

"I was only trying to help, gosh"

"Well don't. I don't need you or your help" Doris said standing up leaving cash on the table but then knocking her drink all over the table and herself. "God I can't do anything right. No wonder Ashlee couldn't wait to leave. If I had me for a mother I would leave too."

"Hey hey" Blake said softly against her better judgment. Doris could be a bitch but she was also a friend in law sort of. "Maybe I can help."

"You can't help nobody can. I ruin every good thing that happens to me."

Taking off her apron the woman called out that she was taking a break and walked Doris to the steps outside the building. "Whats wrong?"

"Why do you care."

"Doris come on we might as well be friendly your best friends with Olivia and I'm close to Natalia."

"If that's the only reason then don't bother. Olivia hate me."

"Your coming with me to talk. Lets go to the park."

"What about work."

"I'm on a break. I'm allowed a break. Come on"

"You never told me which office I was going to take." Ava said handing her mom her favorite caffeinated beverage.

"You never told me if you were going to relocate here or stay in San Francisco."

"Ummmm I'm thinking about it. You have any problems with me being here?"

"No I told you before I would like nothing more than my girls on the same side of the country. The same area code if possible."

"Really?"

"Really why would you think anything else?" Olivia said sitting on the sofa beside Ava taking her in a hug.

"I don't know I thought maybe you would be pissed about me talking to Emma about my adoption" Ava replied hiding her face in her mom's shoulder.

"The only one I am pissed at is me. That talk was long overdue. I just wished you had felt comfortable coming to me last night instead of running away."

"I'm sorry I should have let you know that it was bothering her."

"I love the fact that Emma trusts you and is able coming to you."

"I know but she's your daughter"

"Yes she is just like you are. I'm sorry there was ever a time I was too stupid to realize just how important you both are to me."

"It's okay. You couldn't take care of me before. My mother adopting me was for the best."

"Unfortunately it was for the best. I wasn't able to be what you needed but it was no excuse for how I treated you after I found out you were my daughter. I'm sorry that I caused you so much pain. I don't know if I can ever thank you enough for not giving up on me, for loving Emma regardless of me."

"I would never hate Em." Ava said finally looking Olivia in the eye.

"I know that's how I finally reconciled myself to giving you away. I owe your mother so much for loving you and making you the wonderful daughter and sister you are today."

"What the blue fuck."

Doris just looked at Blake out of the corner of her eye. "And people to actually read the words you put together."

"Hush." Blake chuckled. "What are you going to do?"

"What can I do?"

"Tell her the truth it wasn't you taking advantage of her and you both realized it shouldn't have happened."

"Blake if I had seen what she saw I'd be in jail right now. I would have run her over with the car. Considering its Olivia I'm lucky she didn't shoot me she does have a pistol."

"You have a point there but you can't just accept her hating you. She's your best friend."

"What choice do I have. I slept with her daughter."

"Well not the best thing to cement a friendship but I'm not going to give up and neither are you. Come one" Blake yanked Doris toward her car.

"I can walk on my own fine thank you very much."

"So I guess I should get back to my place to tie up all the loose ends before I start here?"

"I think you have a few ends here before you make the trip"

"What?"

"Doris."

"What about her?" Why was it she felt as if her mother was looking at her like cops looked at a perp.

"I saw you kissing her as you walked out of her front door. I was on my way there to talk to her about my talk with Emma and get her help sorting everything out when guess who I saw wearing the same thing from the night before and freshly showered if the wet hair was any indication."

"Mom."

"I don't want to know. I'm so upset with her for taking advantage of you she's lucky I don't keep my pistol in the car anymore."

"Mom listen."

"I don't want to listen. Doris is a bottom feeder. I know you are old enough to make your own decisions but Doris really isn't who you want to be experimenting with."

"How do you know it was an experiment?"

"Good god there is no way you can tell me your in love with Doris fucking Wolfe?"

"I never said I was I never said anything you've been too busy yelling to give me much of a chance."

"Doris only cares about her next conquest. She didn't even stop to consider how I would feel about all this."

"Mom I married your exhusband."

"He was a damned husband not my best fucking friend Ava."

"Listen I'm sorry if you want to blame someone blame me. I came on to her after the funeral and last night."

"Wait a fucking minute you slept with Doris the day after your father's funeral. Okay now I am going to shoot her."

"Nooo. Jesus. She came to San Diego for business and I ran into her. We had dinner one thing lead to another and"

"I don't want to know what led to what I just want to know its over."

"You can't tell me who I can see."

"Ava please listen to me if your thinking that this is going to turn into a love connection."

"Why not it did for you and Natalia."

"Your not Natalia and I sure as hell aint Doris."

"Mom I'm not even saying I want a relationship with her. We decided this morning that it was best if it never happened again"

"Then why the hell are your panties twisted"

"Because its not your decision if she and I did decide to make it work you should support me just like you always do."

"Support you making the worst decision in your life I don't think so."

"Is it because it's a woman or because its Doris."

I am not a homophobic. I wouldn't care if you tattooed a rainbow on your ass."

"She's your friend"

"Was my friend"

"Mom"

"No she crossed a line." Olivia stood up " I'm so happy that you're going to be working with me. It's a dream come true honey. If had some papers drawn up that we have to go over as soon as they are delivered."

"Mom."

"Ava enough. I'm going to the lobby to check on the staff. Come get me if the courier arrives before I come back."

"Okay mom you've forced me to resort to dirty tactics. Hey Natalia."


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey Natalia do you think we could have lunch?"

"Umm yep we can that. Do you want me to meet you and your mom at the beacon?"

"No, not with mom just you and me. I have something I want your help with"

"Oh already doing the step daughter thing of causing division between the parental units."

"Of course you didn't think that I was going to be the problem free kid did you?"

"Nope not considering you're a Spencer."

"And even worse I'm an O'Neil"

"Good thing your out of high school. I can foresee plenty parent teacher conferences coming up with Emma if she follow in yours or Olivia's footprints. So am I coming over there or you're coming by here?"

Noticing her mom walking into the room Ava replied, "No I think I think it would be best if I met you over there."

"Okay honey I will see you around 12?"

"Yep 12."

When she first headed to the room Olivia had regained the excitement and momentum from waking up yesterday morning imagining a future of running the Beacon side by side with her daughter. The front desk was run as well as could be expected of Jack and there didn't see to be any customer disasters looming in the lobby. The partnership papers had been delivered and walking back to her office she looked forward to the days when she and Ava worked hard on the wooing the next big client or out maneuvered the competition. Ever since Natalia resigned she had not actually looked forward to sitting down at her desk. Sure she still liked work and it was still fun at times but working with Natalia had been unlike any other work related experience. Not only did Natalia anticipate her needs she worked just as hard if not harder to make the Beacon a success. It would be wonderful to again have someone who equaled the commitment and dedication of the boss. "I hope that wasn't who I think it was."

"Just who do you think it was?"

"The woman whose name rhymes with ass hat."

"What would Natalia say if she heard that" Ava said trying not to laugh

"What Natalia doesn't know keeps me off the sofa. Don't change the subject. Was that her?"

"Her? Who ever do you mean mother? "

"Ava"

"No it wasn't jeez but what if it was?"

"You know what I came in here excited because the partnership papers were delivered so lets focus on that."

"Gimme" Ava grinned grabbing for the papers in her mother's hands.

"Wait" Olivia said putting the contracts behind her back. "Maybe we should have a party or something to commemorate it. We could hold a welcome party to introduce you to all our major clients and suppliers."

"Ummm like your welcoming your business family to your actual family?"

"Exactly this could be a major campaign all on its own especially with the holidays coming up."

"Okay admit it Mom you only asked me to join as a marketing ploy."

"Hey use whatever works. No this could really work. I knew this was a good idea. I'm going to get together a list of all the business that we normally work with and see if we can't come up with some themes for this party."

"This could actually work uh?"

"Baby this is going to more than work its going to explode" Olivia smiled thinking of endless possibilities as she walked behind her desk finally handing the papers to Ava.

"Knock knock"

"Blake hi"

"How is it going here? Has anyone told you that Spaulding was actually a gateway to hell?"

"Umm I can't say that was covered in the newcomers orientation."

"Don't say I didn't warn you. How is it working with Philip?"

"You worked with him before"

"Yeah well when I worked with him we took a lot of late night meetings sort of like you and Olivia."

"Blake!" Natalia shouted looking scandalized.

"Just kidding gosh."

"Are you here for some reason other than to embarrass me."

"Actually I was hoping we could have lunch."

"I'm popular today sorry I'm already have plans with Ava."

"Ava" Blake said with a frown.

"What"

"Nothing"

"Noo what's up"

"Has Olivia been weird or upset lately or talked about Doris lately?"

"No why? What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing I should go and let you get ready for lunch."

"Oh no you don't. what's going on with Olivia and Doris"

"It's nothing just sex"

"WHATTT" it looked as if her head would explode

"Nooo not olivia and Doris Doris and Ava"

"It must be genetic. That's it I'm locking Emma in the attic as soon as she reaches puberty."

"Do you want me to drop them off to the lawyer on me way to lunch?"

"You signed them already?" Olivia's eyebrow arching.

"Well yeah I thought that was sorta the point."

"Don't you want to someone to go over it with you?"

"You're my mom what are you gonna do?"

"I could ask for your first born" and as soon as the words were said she again wished her life came with an edit button. "Baby I'm sorry"

"Its okay"

"No no its not. Ava I don't know why I would say something like that"

"We never talk about him. Sometimes I feel like it was all some bad dream. I wanted to get pregnant so bad and then I had him and the next day I was gone. I never even" and she started to sob and shake dropping down in the seat. Her mother rocking her and holding her tight. "I never even held him. What kind of mother leaves the city without even holding her son."

"Baby you were sick. You were sick." Olivia said wanting more than anything to take the pain from her daughter. This was the first time that they had cried over him. Her beautiful grandson had died almost a year ago and they had never cried over his loss. Ava's eyes bored into her while she was telling her about his final moments. Olivia kept talking trying to explain trying to temper the pain by relating only the necessary but Ava demanded the entire unabridged version. When she was finished Ava got up and walked away. She had never brought him up again and although she knew that it needed talking out and through she wanted to avoid it as well. When she lost Max he took with him the possibility to glimpse at child she gave away. "I'm sorry we never talked about him its okay to miss him. I miss him too every time I see a little boy that's around the age he would have been."

"I miss him so much mom. So much."

"It had better not be genetic of else Emma going to the convent." Natalia said after hearing the story.

"I don't think it would work she'd just seduce the priests and alter boys. Maybe even a few nuns" Blake laughed.

"So not helping" Natalia said as she slapped Blake's arm.

"Hey"

"Now what are we going to do? Olivia is going to kill Doris. I'm surprised she hasn't hatched some plan already."

"That's why I'm here. I want you to get Olivia to see that this is just a misunderstanding"

"What?? She slept with Ava".

"Okay so it wasn't her best move"

"Yah think" Natalia smirked.

"Hey Doris has been a good friend to Olivia especially after you ran away. Doris was the one person that kept her from going further off the deep end."

"Listen I'm sure"

"No you listen Natalia Doris and Olivia are best friends whether they want to admit it or not they need each other. You can't just let this friendship tank."

"Why do you even care? Your not that close to Olivia and your not close to Doris."

"I just do okay. Doris has been a major supporter of your's and Olivia's for a long time."

"Yeah after she outed us before there was even an us."

"Hey"

"Okay okay fine. I'll see what I can do"

"Nat"

"Okay Blake I will see what I can do. I promise."


	11. Chapter 11

After going over each possible outcome in infinite detail Doris still could not picture anything positive from confronting Olivia but she couldn't just waiting for round two. "I'm so fucked" was the mantra that kept repeating in her head during her drive to the Beacon. One, Olivia, much like herself, had trust issues that would tax even the best therapist. Two, Olivia was probably the most insanely protective parent she knew including herself and right now her best friend thought that she used their friendship to bed her daughter. Yes she was fucked thoroughly and roughly no doubt about it. But that still didn't stop her from walking into the lobby of the hotel of her sworn enemy to do the one thing she hated in life, apologize. Ashlee had been the only person that Doris ever considered saying sorry to and that wasn't too often and when she did she always felt like hurling. "I am so fucked" Walking into the lobby her nerves were so frayed that she literally growled at the young man that had the misfortune to bump into her. "Watch where you're going!"

"Hey put the claws away. Kid run before she starts to attack" Ava laughed standing in between the two and holding Doris by the shoulders as if the woman needed to be physically restrained. "What the hell are you doing here? I though you were pretty attached to your head and wanted to keep the unwanted marks to a minimum."

"No thanks to you." Doris screeched yanking away from Ava. "I thought we said we weren't going to tell your mother about us" her voice rising with every word.

Risking an injury of her own Ava pulled Doris behind the front desk smiling at the shocked employees. If they were going to work for her it was best they saw the craziness she inspired right at the beginning. "Hey do you all mind me using the break room for a quick meeting? No? Thanks." Helping the three people unlucky enough to be in the room gather their items.

"Why I ever got involved with you I'll never know. I need to have my head examined."

"You'll need your face examined if you try and talk to my mother right now."

"Why the hell did you tell her? Was all this some sort of lifetime after school special for you? What better way to deflect her from your talk with Emma than have her gunning for me."

"Do you really think that?"

"What the hell am I supposed to think. Not five minutes after we decided she was at my door."

"If you think I did this to deliberately cause problems for you and my mom then you can go to hell."

"Hey, Hey I'm sorry okay. Ava I'm sorry I know that you wouldn't do that" The anger of Ava's tone shocked Doris for a moment and she had to grab Ava's hands to keep her from storming out of the room.

"Do you?" Ava asked looking into the woman's eyes trying to gauge her sincerity.

"Yes I do. I' just a little cranky after having your mother calling me a sleeze in my own house." Doris sighed pulling away once she was sure Ava was staying.

"I didn't tell her. She came by your house to talk to you about me and she saw us at the door."

"Great" another weary sigh as she sat down holding her head in both hands. "now what?"

"Now I make this right. Listen I'm so sorry that I cause you and my mom to fall out" Ava breathed kneeling in front of Doris stroking her hair.

"Maybe it's for the best. I never was able to keep friends so this was bound to end badly one way or the other"

"Don't okay. Look at me. You know better than anyone what a bitch my mom can be but you also know how protective and loyal she is to the people she loves. She's just pissed right now. Whether she wants to admit it or not she loves you Doris."

"I wouldn't say that if you plan on getting any inheritance"

"You go to work. Do something to take your mind off of this. I will work my magic." Ava said standing up.

"Yeah your magic is what got me in this mess in the first place" Doris said wrapping her arms around Ava's waist.

"I don't remember hearing any complaints" Ava laughed

"What are we going to do?"

"You are going to get out of here before my mom sees you and wait on my phone call. I will handle everything trust me."

Waiting a few minutes after Ava left the break room Doris tried to be as inconspicuous as possible to make her escape out of the hotel.

"I hope it was worth it"

"What? Jesus Christ Blake you scared me I thought you were Olivia."

"I should have been. I've been wracking my brains trying to make this alright and you're boffing Olivia's daughter in her hotel."

"I was not boffing anyone and would you mind keeping your voice down."

"What were you doing then?"

"Do you mind if we had this discussion somewhere other than the freaking lobby of the Beacon. Hell the city counsel floor mid session would be better."

Blake had no idea why she was so upset seeing Ava sneaking out of the office followed by a very guilty looking mayor. Maybe it had to do with how Ava was straightening her clothes or how Doris was reapplying lipstick. Whatever the reason she was pissed.

"If I'm going to run all over town trying to get you and Olivia speaking again the least you could do is stop making booty calls with her kid!"

"I told you already we weren't having sex!"

"It sure looked like it to me and it definitely would have looked like that to Olivia." It was unreasonable for her to be this angry at Doris even if it was a booty call. Why was she so bothered by it? Looking at Olivia and Nat made her consider possibilities that she would have never imagined before. Sure the past few weeks since Olivia and Natalia reunited caused her to interact more with Doris. The four of them sitting around the table laughing about everything was fast becoming the highlight of her week. Doris had not made any moves but until this Ava fiasco she was sure that the woman was jonesing on her. The dinners always ended with Doris walking Blake to her car. It started by accident. The sitter called saying that Clarissa was feeling ill and Blake had a pan in the car that Doris offered to bring back inside the house. Now a few weeks later whenever Blake was nearing her departure Doris would linger around holding her own keys in hand waiting on Blake. But if Doris was secretly dating Ava this whole time had Blake imagined their chemistry.

"I was going to talk to Olivia and Ava stopped me. She said it would be better to just give her some time to work it out with her mom"

"If Olivia gets over this are you going to start dating Ava?"

"I would have a better chance getting Olivia to let me date Natalia" Doris groaned.

"I'm serious" Blake hissed

"Who pissed on your parade?"

"You know what you handle your mess on your own"

"Jesus P. Christ what is with me today. I'm sorry. Ok I'm sorry. Blake I'm sorry"

"Are you going to date Ava" Blake asked again but this time her body was turned away from Doris.

"No, of course not. Ava is beautiful but it wouldn't work."

"Because of Olivia?"

"Because she isn't the one for me. Are you going to turn around while we have this conversation?"

"Then why did you sleep with her?"

"Oh My GOD! I don't know. She's beautiful and sexy and my best friend's daughter and I'm an idiot. What do you want me to say Blake?"

Bowing her head Blake finally turned towards Doris but refused to look up at her face. "I want to know why because I thought that you were sort of into me"

"Hi mom number two"

"Don't mom number two me" Natalia shook her head at the taller woman. "there had better be lots of chocolate in that bag for all the trouble you are causing."

"What trouble?"

"Oh I don't know the fact that your mother is considering how to get away with murdering her best friend. You and Doris, really Ava?"

"Hey I don't usually have to consider how my sex partners are going to affect my mom so could I get a pass on the lecture just until you help me fix this?"

"I'm sorry. I'm weirded out by this but I shouldn't have been so judgmental"

"I don't know what to do. Mom won't even talk to me about it and Doris is a wreck."

"No judging but what did you expect was going to happen once Olivia found out about this?"

"Her finding out wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to happen again."

"AGAIN!!" Natalia yelled standing up at her desk but after shaking her head a few more times and crossing herself she looked up and said "sorry. You were saying?"

"It happened after dad's funeral."

Popping back up "Your mother is going to kill her. I'm going to kill her. She slept with you after your father's funeral.!!"

"Nooo jeez. Not then a few weeks afterwards when she came to San Francisco. I'm going to leave that part out the next time I tell this story."

"That would be best for everyone. Ava, sweetheart, your mother loves you and as your mother she's concerned by the fact that a person she trusted took advantage of you. If not after the funeral than last night. You were upset enough to consider going back to California but that didn't stop Doris from sleeping with you. That's a problem."

"I'm not a child and Doris didn't manipulate or take advantage of me. It wasn't the best idea but it was our idea and I don't want you or mom thinking otherwise,"

"Okay you want my help doing what?"

"Getting mom to back off. Just talk to her and get her to see that she is overreacting."

"But what if I don't think that she is"

"Nat"

"No listen. You say that both of you made this decision to have sex last night. Fine but you know what Sweetie I bet Doris knew exactly how Olivia would react if she ever found out. I bet if this were reversed Doris would fee the exact same way. So if her relationship with Olivia is suffering she has no one to blame except herself."

"Funny you Christian types always talking about forgiveness but I guess it's only when you're the one needing the forgiveness. Thanks for nothing. Enjoy lunch."

"Hey I'm sorry. You're right. I'm sorry. I'm not going to pretend that I'm not upset about this but everyone deserves a second chance. You just better be sure this is over because even I can't make your mom agree to you dating Doris."

"Thanks Natalia" Ava said as they hugged.

"Oh you're not getting off that easy. I see lots of baby sitting in your future young lady." Natalia said with a smile. "You Spencers won't be happy until you drive me crazy."

For a few seconds Mayor Doris Wolfe did a very good impression of a fish out of water.

"Never mind forget I said anything at all."

"NO you don't. You can't just say something like that then say forget about it." Doris said as she grabbed the smaller woman. "what if you weren't wrong?" Doris said fearing that her indiscretion cost her more than Olivia's friendship.

"Then why were you sleeping with Ava instead of" Blake stopped herself and began to back away from Doris.

"Instead of what" Doris repeated softly following Blake trying to catch her eye. But after a few beats and no further elaborations she knew it was up to her to continue this conversation at least Blake had stopped her retreat. "Ava and I just sort of happened. I ran into her while I was in California and we had dinner. Me being a goof I spilled my wine on her blouse. We went back to her place and one thing led to another."

"And this time?"

"This time Ava was upset and getting drunk really fast at the Towers. I just wanted to get her back to the farmhouse but we ended up at my place. Maybe Olivia is right and I did take advantage of her" Doris sighed and this time it was her who back away.

"No, no you didn't. The woman I saw in the Beacon was not looking hurt or upset. If she felt that way she wouldn't be going to so much trouble to patch things up between you and her mom."

"But what about you? What do you think?"

"Doris you can be a major pain in the ass and a complete shit."

"Why thank you too"

"Stop interrupting. But you would never take advantage of Olivia's daughter. You wouldn't do that to someone you cared about."

"For a few weeks everything in my life was good and then I did what I always do I fucked it up."

"No, you didn't. You didn't fuck up everything." Blake said looking Doris in the eyes and pulling her close.


	12. Chapter 12

She woke up for the second time this week with a beautiful woman in her bed and the galling thing was that neither time she could brag about it to Olivia. The first time because even if Olivia didn't flip it would have been kinda gross to dish about sex with the person's mom. Trading places and this time being the one to incessantly drone on and on about the joys of love was her dream. Soon as Ava worked her magic that is. If it were up to anyone else Doris wouldn't hold out too much hope but she knew that the younger Spencer was relentless that and the fact that Blake had somehow gotten Natalia in on it as well. She was not deluded enough to believe that Natalia was too happy about her boffing her step-daughter and she incorrectly believed that Doris could be a bad influence on Olivia. Like Olivia needed any lessons on being a bitch. If anything Doris was learning a few things. It was only a matter of time before Olivia caved but not a second too soon because she was now the one needing love lessons. Moreover Doris actually missed Olivia. They had fun together comparing who was the worst Spaulding wife and whose attitude was the fiercest. "My life officially sucks"

"Not usually what I hear upon waking up in someone else's bed"

"No not you. Everything else but you" and Doris immediately wrapped herself around the smaller woman pulling her as close as possible. Blake was the only person beside Ava that Doris ever invited to her home. Hell usually she was sneaking out of bed soon as the other person was drifting to sleep. Never invite the chic over because its kind of awkward to graciously kick out someone you just had sex with without making it seem too obvious the previous night would never be repeated. Blake was the second person that upon waking up "hit the bricks" came to mind. Instead she kissed the back of Blake's head mindful of morning breathe and waiting on the other woman's cues.

"So"

"So" Doris repeated stilling the hands that had been drawing circles on the redhead's stomach wondering if this was when Blake did her own disappearing act.

Turning around Blake gave her a slow smile and a soft "good morning"

"It is now" Doris answered glad that she didn't seem to think last night was a colossal mistake. At least not before she could really fuck things up like usual.

"It will be better after" Blake whispered moving to close the distance between the two.

"After what?"

Instead of answering Blake leaned in and softly kissed Doris slipping her tongue between the shocked woman's lips. "After that" Blake smirked.

"I guess that answer my question if you were regretting last night"

"The only thing I regret is that it took your sleeping with Ava for this to develop between us."

Leaning her head against Blake's Doris whispered "I'm sorry about that"

"Just so long as you don't plan on doing it again with her or anyone else for that matter."

"Not a chance" hoping to her eyes conveyed her sincerity.

"Good but I have one small question."

"Anything" and she knew right away that she honestly meant it. If there was anything that she could do for Blake she would. She had tolerated Blake's presence in her life at first because of her own friendship with Olivia. Olivia was kinda cemented to Natalia and Natalia counted Blake as a close confidant. So if Doris wished to spend any time with Olivia after working hours she had to spend that time with Blake as well. Pretty soon though she was looking for ways to spend time with Blake alone so she started walking her to her car with the excuse that since she had to leave the farmhouse as well she might as well walk with Blake to the cars. What started out as a quick bye quickly led up to 2-3 minutes of them just standing by their cars talking. Doris kept daring herself to ask Blake to sit in her car to talk or even go out for coffee once they reached town but she kept chickening out not wanting to make Blake uncomfortable by her an open lesbian. Olivia had known because Doris saw her looking at them briefly once or twice standing in her driveway but she hadn't said anything about it. Now she wished that she would have had the opportunity to discuss this with the other woman before confronting Blake.

"Why did you stop things last night? Why didn't you want to sleep with me?"

"Blake I do want to sleep, make love to you. Soo much. You would probably be frightened by how much in fact" Doris blushed.

"That's good to know so why didn't we?"

For Doris sex was just something that she did when she could no longer bare the frustration any longer. It was mutual masturbation because it was never something she shared with the other person. They just happened to aid her and reaching a goal. That was not what she wanted with Blake. "I don't have relationships. Blake I fuck plain and simple down and dirty and I don't want that with you. I want" but she was scared to continue. Oh shit she was turning into a u-haul lesbian.

"You want" Blake said softly kissing Doris on the cheek.

"I want…you"

"That's good because you have me" and she laughed at the silent oh that Doris mouthed. "So what does a chic have to do to get a home cooked meal around here?"

Smirking Doris said "since I want to see you again very soon and not at Cedars I think it would be best if I took you out rather than cooked for you."


	13. Chapter 13

She needed time away to think over everything that occurred since she landed at the Springfield airport a couple of days ago but when Reva called inviting her over for dinner she couldn't refuse. Reva was one of the few people that she had connected to before discovering her parentage. All alone in the world and trying to figure out her way Ava had admired the strength that Reva exuded. She wasn't the most beautiful or the most powerful but she was a force that everyone in the town respected. Since she loved and more importantly liked her mother she didn't spend a lot of time talking about how much her step-mother fascinated her although to be fair it was easier now that Natalia had rubbed off her mom's rougher edges but she still wasn't the best conversation topic. So when Ava told Olivia that she was going to have dinner with her father's family she was surprised when Emma asked to come their mom shrugged her shoulders and looked to Nat to decide. Looking in the rearview mirror to check that Em had buckled up she was startled at how domesticated the seemingly demure woman had made the former town bitch.

Coincidently as they were passing the Mahler's home she heard "Oh I forgot I was supposed to play with Clarissa after I got home from school" from Emma but when she looked up to check her sister was offering her most angelic smile. Natalia thought that she was going to get trouble fromAva but wait until Emma grows up she was going to know what trouble really meant.

"Em we're on our way to Reva's maybe you can play with her tomorrow" and she knew that it was a perfectly reasonable response to her little sister's request but in spite of that knew deep down that she was going to pick up the other little girl because once Em put on that smile and did that blinky thing with her lashes Ava tuned into a pod person. Emma was a terrible mix. Not only was she a Spencer which was bad but she was also a Spaulding, not only did Springfield have to worry the world did as well.

"Since when did you turn into a father?" Natalia asked Olivia laughing when the other woman smirked and physically groped herself in the crotch.

"Um must be all that fiber you keep forcing on me."

Rolling her eyes and shaking her head she tried very hard not to laugh because the other woman needed encouragement like she needed more shoes "Emma asks you a question and you shrug and then say ask your mother."

"Oh that. Well I thought it was more efficient since whatever I say you override anyway."

"I do not. I just strongly suggest."

"Yeah yeah. Like you suggested that turkey bacon is actually edible."

"If you want to ever have any type bacon again you're going to have to get very familiar with the bird. Is that how it's going to be from now on when Emma wants to do something that you don't like you defer the decision to me."

"Who said I didn't like it. I am overjoyed that Reva has tangled herself into my family" Olivia loudly groaned.

"You really do need help" Natalia laughed watching her girlfriend's dramatics. "Fine but when Emma asks for a tattoo just know that I'm going to defer to you."

"You won't have to worry. I'll have her shipped off to a Catholic boarding school the second she stops in front of a tattoo parlor."

"I think that considering she's your daughter maybe it would be best not to have her in a houseful of impressionable, rich teenage girls."

"What's that supposed to mean" Olivia huffed trying to look sufficiently affronted.

"I don't know considering she's another Spencer woman I think that the best place for teenage Emma is a huge isolated castle with a deep moat a huge tower and without any internet connection."

"Hey I am not that bad.!" and this time she didn't even have to try to look affronted she was indignant. "Ava on the other hand. Do you think it would be cheaper to lease the castle or buy it outright?"

Ava had given up trying to hold Colin back from interrupting Emma, Sarah and Clarissa's games. She didn't want it to seem like she was a total slave to Emma when she showed up at her step-mother's house with two extra little girls. Emma she could explain easily but Clarissa was also in tow. Trying on Emma's smile as Reva's door opened all she heard was a high pitched squeal and felt the two girls bolt into the living room. She was sure Reva would throw them all out but she was squealing with the other girls with a mad grin directed towards Ava. "I'm sorry I know I shouldn't have just brought Emma and Clarissa over before calling. I can come back another day alone."

"Take these girls and I'll tackle you myself. Now come in and step away from the door."

Reva still was looking like she the doctor had prescribed her some serious happy pills. Her eyes were glazed over and her smile was so big it looked painful.

"Jonathan had an emergency and I've been baby sitting Sarah all day. Do you know how many times we played guitar hero."

"Guitar heroooooo" The other girls screeched and then Ava was sporting her own crazy clown face. Of the three of the girls it was of course Emma who gave her the dirtiest look when Colin knocked over the jinga blocks after they moved on from the video game. He knocked them over even after they moved the game three times but Clarissa shot her a look that reminded her of Blake when someone at Company was being an extra difficult customer. Sarah was just glad to have people to play with that didn't drool over everything like Colin or was as slow as her Grandma.

"Thanks for letting me bring the giggly girl tour over without notice."

"Any time believe me. I think Sarah was getting as tired of me as I was of Dora. So what kinda trouble are you causing lately?"

"None"

"Okay tell that to someone else. You forget that I know both your parents. You would cause trouble if you were in a coma, its genetic."

"Thanks a lot. You know what I think we ought to go. I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome."

Reva knew how horrible it was to have given away a child and then have that child confront you with righteous anger so she would not wish that even upon Olivia but she was sort of grateful that Ava wasn't raised by her sometimes rival. Not that she wished to hurt the other woman or doubted what a great mother she would have made regardless of the circumstances of her daughter's birth but she doubted that Ava and she would have the loving step-mother daughter relationship if Olivia had any say. Ava and Reva had a comfortable relationship while she and Jeffrey were dating but after being sent away to Chicago on her suggestion she was sure the next time she spoke to the young woman Olivia's influence would shine through and Ava would focus all her rage and hate Reva's way. But if anything they had become even closer and Ava had often called in the middle of the night crying not seeking Jeffrey's voice and comfort but her step-mother's. This touched her father and she had foolishly thought that it might soften her relationship with her step-daughter's mother, Olivia had soon disabused her of that mistaken notion. Seeing Olivia at the checkout Reva had commented on how much better Ava seemed after their talk late the prior night but Olivia thought Reva she had been suggesting that she couldn't take care of her own daughter and Ava had to her in desperation. Olivia had still not forgiven her for her part in sending Ava away and after her grandchild died for a short time Reva could see the hate directed towards her stronger than ever. A confused Ava told her months later that the same night Olivia had called crying worrying that she wasn't offering enough to her troubled daughter. Reva and Ava never discussed it but both knew that it best for everyone's sanity that Olivia not know just how close they had become. Not that Olivia didn't want Reva to like her daughter but there was too much baggage between the two of them for Olivia to be comfortable with her daughter and Reva spending hours each week laughing and crying over the phone. Jeffrey found out the hard way over a lunch with his oldest baby's mother. Olivia teased him telling him to blame his wife for the baby that was keeping him awake nights but he denied the charge and joked that if anything she was to blame because her child was keeping his wife on the phone for all hours which kept him awake. Olivia cursed him thoroughly and then warned him that if his wife hurt Ava child he wouldn't ever have to worry about creating another child because certain parts of his anatomy would be missing.

"Hey what's wrong?" Reva asked immediately reaching to grab Ava's hand watching tears come to her daughter's eyes. "You know you can tell me anything Ava. Come on. Sarah why don't you put in a DVD for you and the girls to watch and Ava and I will put Colin to bed."

"So"

"So" Olivia said laughing as she stretched while keeping her body flush against the naked body near. It wasn't everyday that the women were able to given into their desires as soon and both parties realized that the need was mutual. Usually there was Emma to consider and they just couldn't throw themselves at each other over the dinner table but tonight they were alone and after a couple of rounds on the table and the stairs they had finally made it to the bedroom behind closed doors. Emma needed to have a dinner away at least twice a month during the week. Maybe she could sign her up for toastmasters. While Olivia was thinking this thought and others like it Natalia raised her eyebrows waiting on her lover's mind to return. "another round so soon. I'm going to have to start getting a b-12 shot to keep up with you." Olivia leered pulling the other woman on top of her.

"Are you sure you didn't miss something when you were groping between your legs earlier. You are such a guy." Natalia said rolling her eyes and rolling off back onto her side of the bed.

"I don't think so why don't you check for me to make sure."

"You wish"

"Of course I thought that's what we were getting at." Olivia said smirking as she followed her girlfriend laying on top of her as best she could keeping her weight off Natalia's stomach.

"Down killer. We have to talk."

"Talk later. Sex now."

"Why haven't you talked to me about Ava and Doris"

"Oh my god could you not talk about my daughter while I'm sexing you. God."

"Ha I told you we have to talk."

"I don't have anything to say. Ava made a mistake in trusting that ….mayor."

"You know if you use a word as a curse would even if its not a curse word you owe me a dollar."

"How is that fair??"

"Stop changing the subject. Ava wants you to forgive Doris."

"Listen I know you're all about forgive and trust and all sorts of hearts and flowers but that woman slept with my daughter so I'm not asking you to understand but I don't think its fair of you to expect me to forgive and forget. If this had happened to Rafe I doubt you would be forgiving"

"Hey hey I never said you should forgive her. I'm just as upset by this as you are."

"Then why are we arguing?"

"We aren't. I'm just telling you what Ava wants."

"Well sometimes we don't get what we want."

"Honey are you sure Doris has been you friend, you best friend."

"If she was such a good friend she would have thought about that before she slept with my daughter." Olivia ground out leaving the bed and heading to the bathroom. Natalia reached after Olivia but missed her tightly fisted hands. "Baby I understand completely how betrayed you feel. I'm just as upset as you are I promise. Ava left our home last night upset enough to think that you would take back your offer." Natalia said looking into Olivia's red eyes through the bathroom mirror.

"How could she do that to me? How could she do that to my daughter? I would never use Ashlee the way she used my daughter. She was supposed to be by best friend. I could forgive a lot of things but I won't ever forgive this, never" Olivia vowed.

"Good lord. Doris is lucky that your dad's not here or she might have another bullet to dodge."

"Not you too"

"I know that you want everyone to kiss and make up but Sweetie I know your mom a lot better than even you do and you have a better chance of Olivia giving away all her money shaving her head and becoming a Hari Krishna" Reva laughed.

"This isn't funny"

"Actually it is. God it's genetic because there is no way other way to explain it."

"Reva"

"I'm sorry. Okay your mom is pissier than a turtle on speed so what you have to do is give her some time"

"Time no that's the exact opposite of what she needs. The more time she has the more she is going to think about it and get all worked up"

"Yes for a while true but in time she'll think about how much she misses Doris and everything that she and Doris have been through together."

"Are you sure?"

"Trust me, you championing Doris isn't going to warm your Olivia up any faster. Let her see that this was just a freak incident so to speak, ha."

"ha ha" Ava replied without a smile.

"Sorry. Anyway once she sees that you two aren't going to become an item she will probably calm down."

"I already told her that we weren't going to be together."

"Right now she just needs some time. And you young lady are officially on punishment. You're going to baby sit your sister, brother and Sarah"

"That's not so bad"

"And Clarissa"

"Noooooo"


	14. Chapter 14

Ava and Emma came home a bit later than expected. Olivia was working in her old room at the computer on the Beacon's holiday promotions when she heard the front door slam. It was a school night and soon it would be Emma's bedtime so she waited a few moments listening for her to come upstairs go to the bathroom. Downstairs undoubtedly Natalia would ask her girls about their dinner with Reva but the other woman's interest was completely different from her own. It was stupid she knew and even a bit paranoid which was why she would never ask these questions in front of Natalia or Ava but she couldn't just forgo them not even if deep down she recognized it was a bit irrational. Reva was Jeffery's widow and Ava's stepmother and she had never caused harm to either of her children, God help her if she did. For some unfathomable reason Ava even liked the woman but Olivia could not get past the fact that once Reva had used Emma to manipulate her. The very first time that Emma asked to go with Ava to Jeffery's Olivia had refused and not only was Emma upset but Ava as well because she said their mother didn't trust her to keep Emma safe. So now she waited until Emma was alone before she questioned her. She didn't hear any footsteps up the stairs but she was hearing quite a commotion below.

"Your mother is going to kill you?"

"It's not my fault you know how Em can be"

"What the" Olivia bit off the last part of that sentence when she saw the two extra pair of sensitive ears playing on the living room floor "what are they doing here" she asked slightly confused. "Why did you come here with more children than you left with?"

"That's a funny story" Ava looked up laughing.

"Not half as funny as it's going to be when you take them back where they belong." She had not even come down the stairs yet and she wasn't until Ava left with the children.

"Mom why don't you come down and I can explain."

"I don't want you to explain I want you to drive them home." The children in question had not bothered once to look up at her as they played with some card game that Emma had given up trying to explaining long ago. Emma darted her eyes up but darted them back down just as fast acting as if her mother were not moments from having a fit in the hallway upstairs.

"Olivia honey"

"No this is a school night." looking at Natalia and knowing instantly that if she could get Natalia on her side this would end before the evening news but she had a sneaking suspicion that her daughters had somehow enlisted the normally practical woman with batting eyelashes and droopy lips. "This is a school night and Natalia and I have very busy schedules we're racing each morning just dropping Emma off now we are going to get 2 more ready."

"Mom I will take care of everything. Clarissa and Emma go to the same school and she already has her clothes and then I will drop Sarah off at daycare on my way to work. See no problems."

That child was going to be the death of her. "Fine I'm leaving at 7am sharp anyone not ready gets left." Stalking away she saw her daughters high five each other as the other two girls jumped up and down. "I'm Olivia freaking Spencer" she yelled at herself.

"Don't feel too bad they are Spencers too"

"You" Olivia rounded cornering Natalia in the doorway. "It's a freaking school night. I tried to watch an extra dvd last night and you nearly had a heart attack but Ava bring home 2 extra brats and you cave. You're supposed to be the one that doesn't give in."

"You could be an actress you have the drama queen down." Natalia said reaching over attempting to stroke Olivia's hand. "Colin wasn't feeling well and Blake had a thing come up."

"A thing?" Olivia rolled her eyes "really Blake had a thing that's descriptive."

"That's what she told Ava when she was dropping Clarissa back off. Blake had a thing and wondered if Clarissa could spend the night"

"And people have actually paid money to buy her books"

"Stop meany" Natalia breathed into the taller woman's ear "Ava is going to help get them ready"

"Ava is going to get them ready. No help"

With an even softer tone while kissing a spot just below Olivia's left ear lobe "Ava is going to get them ready. She is going to drop them off at school and she is going to put them to bed. You just get ready for bed and relax okay sweetheart."

"She's definitely not getting the corner office if she keeps this up."

Blake was driving to Doris' after begging Ava to keep Clarissa for the night. After they leaving the Beacon the two had ended up silently sitting beside each other at city hall. At first Blake had not known what to say and although she made a big chuck of change from words she knew that her usual brashness was just the opposite of what the situation required. Doris was could be described as closetted in more ways than just sexually. Private thoughts and inner feelings stayed just that and in less than 24 hours she had learned more about the mayor than anyone ever. Blake was scared that her usual chatter would push Doris far away but now that she was driving to the other woman's home she wondered if maybe her silence had given Doris the time to think her way out of the relationship that Blake knew they both wanted. Lying on the office sofa stroking Doris' head Blake could not help but imagine how it would feel to do this in bed after making love. After a five minutes of silence Blake slowly looked down expecting to see Doris' face tight with tension maybe even see the wheels turning of her trying to extricate herself from the situation completely. But where she expected to see fright she was amazed that Doris' face completely relaxed and softly smiling.

"You're going to put me to sleep if you keep this up"

"Wouldn't want that. I would like to have put some effort into making you exhausted first" she'd said without thinking and when she saw the shocked look on Doris' face she tried to backtrack as fast as she could before she heard the other woman's laughter.

"I look forward to that as well"

And before Blake could come up with another witty response Doris leaned up to kiss her softly. The two had ten more minutes of making out before Blake regretfully informed her that Clarissa needed to be picked up from school and they both said that they should see each other soon. Very soon but there had not been any definite plans because Clarissa was always apt to invite friends over without prior permission and the small city was always demanding more and more time. So Blake left wondering if they had allowed another moment to slip by until Ava dropped by asking to take Clarissa over to Reva's for dinner with Emma. Waving bye to the girls she had stood in front of the door waving just long enough for the car to start pulling out of the drive way. By the time the three had made it past the first neighbor's house Blake already had her keys in her hands to head to Doris'. Now that she was in the car less than a minute away she was starting to have second thoughts. Why the hell had she just come over without calling first? What if Doris didn't want to see her or worse still was busy with someone else? "What the blue fuck" she yelled at herself two door down from her destination. "Get your head out of your ass Blake jeez" she muttered to herself as she pulled out her phone and dialed the number by memory. When had she memorized Doris' number because she had actually called the woman maybe three times before but she there were dozens of times that she had pressed the numbers but had failed to hit send. She was about to throw the phone down into the backseat when Doris answered.

"Hello?" Oh God I'm a complete idiot. The next "Hello" was a bit stronger and she knew that if the other woman hung up she would be embarrassed forever once Doris realized who had called her.

"Hi"

"Blake?"

"Yeah I was…." loosing my mind and thought at the same time I should have a witness "was wondering if you would" oh my God this cannot be this fucking hard "um Clarissa had a dinner date" my ten year old has better social skills than me obviously "and I was thinking that maybe you would like to"

"Blake would you like to come over for dinner"

"Yes!" she yelled then again said "yes" without the megaphone effect.

"So you can come over whenever you get a chance"

If Doris thought it was strange that Blake was over sooner than she should have been considering she lived almost 15 minutes away she didn't say anything. Blake thought she was doing well to have shown up in three minutes considering she had to back up and drive around the neighborhood twice before she drove into Doris' yard. She was embarrassed but she didn't want to keep driving around and attract the neighborhood watch program.

Ringing the door bell a thousand possibilities flew through her mind. Maybe she is asking me over to say that she made a huge mistake and ask that I pretend the day never happened? She was starting to hyperventilate when the door opened and she saw the back of a head running towards the kitchen yelling profanities along the way. Walking in slowly she noticed the unmistakable trace of burnt rice. "Oh shit" and then an even worse tirade punctuated by a loud bang and fast running water. "Fuck a duck that hurts" Sticking a head in slowly she saw Doris standing at the sink holding her hand under the running water dancing as if she were a five years old needing to use the restroom.

"Let me guess, Pizza to night?"

Doris shot her a death glare that she had not seen since the time the woman was still married to Alan. "Keep that up and pizza will be the only thing you'll get tonight"

Walking slowly with her hands up in surrender she took the wet hands and inspected the damage. Seeing a reddish splotch on the center of the palm she raised it to her mouth and softly kissed the offended skin. Whatever caustic remark that Doris was about to say died and the only thing Blake heard was a sharp intake of breath. Moving the hand to her mouth again she looked up into Doris' eyes and asked "is it all better now?"

It took Doris a couple of seconds to regain her faculties and begin to speak but soon enough she replied "yeah I think so. Now that we aren't going to have rice and chicken what would you like instead?"

From the skittish look on the other woman's face Blake did not think it would be a good idea to tell the truth and respond that she would love to sample Doris so instead she asked about the condition of the chicken. And almost as soon as she got the word out of her mouth the insessant ringing of the fire alarm went off. Looking down at the pot of rice she felt Doris yank her hand back to go after the burnt fowl.

"Oh now you don't" Blake yelled snatching the hand back. "Jesus have you ever heard of oven mitts?"

"Its going to burn." Doris whined.

"Its already burnt sweetie and so is your hand just incase you haven't noticed. I'm guessing that Ashlee did most of the cooking" Blake laughed pulling the bird from the oven with mitts securely in place.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Are you trying to call my daughter fat?"

"What?" Blake said at a loss because normally when things were about to take a dive she could sense it and also because she was looking for a place to set the pan down without needing burning her own hand.

"Listen you"

"No you listen. You almost pulled a burning pan out of the stove without a anything on your hand it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know you're not in the kitchen much. What the fuck is this. I thought we were past all the push pull crap." Blake huffed now upset herself.

"I'm sorry."

"Maybe I should go"

"NO, no please don't. I'm sorry okay. You're right I don't know how to cook. Before when I first had Ashlee I was too poor to have to cook. You can't really burn instant mac and cheese. And then once I finished law school I was too busy too cook. I always felt bad about that. Like I neglected her in a way. Here I am trying to learn how to cook when I should have done it when she needed me." Doris turned away leaned over the sink away from Blake.

"Hey, you were working hard to give her all the things and opportunities that you never had."

"But what she wanted was me but I was too busy and too selfish to see that."

"She has you. She's so proud of you anyone can see that. I saw that the day she drove off to California with Daisy" Blake said into Doris' hair as she held her from behind.

Slowly turning around to look at the younger woman Doris slowly smiled and said "are you going to call for pizza or am I?"

"How about you go call for pizza, go upstairs and get out of your suit."

"Really Blake I would have thought you would at least wait for the second date" Doris smirked.

"You're lucky I'm waiting until after dinner so go while I clean up this mess." and as she turned around shaking her head at the tasks ahead Doris kissed the top of her head on her way up the stairs. They spent the rest of the night revealing little known facts about themselves to each other. The first person they had crushes on and the last person that had loved an lost. Half way through the pizza Blake found herself held by Doris while listening to the other woman laugh at the Curb your Enthusiasm. Hearing and feeling Doris' laughter as her own she could only pray that one day this intimate scene would be a regular occurrence. Two hours after she arrived she realized that soon Ava would be bringing Clarissa back to an empty house. "I've got to go back home Clarissa should be coming home soon" she said softly without looking back up in to Doris' face.

"I know. I was just hoping that you could stay a little longer."

"And if I could?"

"If you could I would ask you to spend the night" Doris said without missing a beat. And less than an hour later when she rang the doorbell hoping that she was not taking too much for granted Doris simply opened the door and held her arms outstretched for Blake to enter.

The three girls and Ava's laughter could be heard inside their bedroom. The noise was settling down marginally but was a vast improvement from the yelling that she heard downstairs. She rolled her eyes as she looked over to the clock unbelievably it was still not past Emma's bedtime.

"They will be asleep soon enough"

"Not soon enough for me"

"What's wrong you cannot still be mad that Ava brought Clarissa and Sarah over? They are both angels and Ava has been taking care of them since they got here? So what's wrong?" She huffed and attempted to walk past Natalia to get to restroom. "No way. What's going on with you Spencer?"

"Me" she said still not ready to really share her feelings with her lover. "What's going on with you and Ava? It's a school night and its suddenly okay for Em to have sleepover?" she said as she walked inside the bathroom before shutting the door. Okay now not only was she pissed she was going to piss off Natalia which would make her even more pissed. "Fuck me" she hissed to her reflection.

"Not if you keep this up. In fact if you keep it up that won't be happening for a while." Natalia had walked into the room and sat on the toilet seat. "Tell me what's wrong?"

"Reva is what's wrong"

"Colin was sick. I'm sure Reva wouldn't have asked"

"Not that dammit"

"You're getting pretty close to finding yourself on the sofa missy." And when Olivia looked sufficiently contrite she began again. "What then?""Why did Ava have to take Emma over there? Why the hell is Ava still going over there for in the first place.?"

"Because she's"

"She's Jeffrey's widow and Colin's mother I got it. If she wants to spend time with her brother why not bring him over here where her the rest of her family is?"

"Honey she loves Reva."

"Yeah she's made that obvious enough" Olivia sobbed walking back into the bedroom. "Why does she always win? What does she have that makes everyone chose her over me?"

"Olivia sweetheart Ava adores you."

"Now. Did you know that even before I realized that she was my daughter they were friends. Loud mouthed know it all Reva was the one who convinced Jeffrey to send Ava away when Max was born."

"You said that she was sick and that they helped her get well"

"They did damnit. But why the hell did she have to pick a place hundreds of miles from her baby. Max died before Ava ever held him. She will never forgive herself for that and I will never forgive Reva for robbing my daughter of that memory."

"Oh baby" Natalia sighed holding the other woman close absorbing both her tears and her defeated words.


	15. Chapter 15

After dropping off her screaming and giggling cargo Ava made her way to the home of the mayor. Late last night after she had finally gotten the three girls to sleep Jackson her former boss called wondering when he could expect her back in the office. Listening to his excitement over how well the project was going she almost regretted the goodbye that would be coming at the end of the conversation. Hearing his voice and laughing at their shared inside jokes she saw exactly what made her eager to come to the office each morning. They worked well together and when they were working on this particular project they had not only worked well they were synched as if they were a part of some larger design. In the 6 months that she worked so closely with Jake they were such a sensation that some of the older men likened them to Jordan and Pippen.

Although Ava was the first to admit that it was not an easy meld. The first time she was paired with him by the regional chief she thought nothing of it just another step in proving herself in the high competitive company and she thought he felt the same. Everything seemed to be flowing other than the occasions when he talked to her as if she was his assistant rather than his partner but she put it down just to everyday chauvinism. But after three months of twelve hour days spent together Jake eyed her and began asking her questions about herself. Nothing too personal but just basic things that coworkers learned about each other after spending almost a year together. And after she answered so freely he'd laugh saying that the office had a pool trying decide if she were in the witness protection or was federal agent working there undercover because she was so guarded and distant.

The day that Ava was released from the hospital Olivia and Jeffrey were busy making arraignments to return her to Springfield when she surprised them with the news of the position she took in San Francisco. Of course her father had understood but Olivia threatened to physically return her. She cried that Ava was punishing them for sending her away reasoned that for Ava to heal she needed to be surrounded by family. But Ava had not wanted to heal or to be reminded of what she had thrown away, a marriage, what she had neglected, a friendship, or most importantly whom she had destroyed, a son. In San Francisco Ava did her best to fill up each moment with so many distraction that the ache and loneliness she felt each time she walked her apartment would disappear. She attempted to fill herself by working the most hours of anyone in the department or on the entire floor. She spent thousands of dollars and hours purchasing baubles. She did anything and everything other than let others get close because who would want to know a woman that literally ran out of the city to get away from her own child.

Listening to the voice of the first person she made a conscious decision to let in after hiding away for so long was bittersweet it was perhaps that reason alone that weakened her resolve to make a clean break from him by quitting when instead she agreed to come back temporarily for two months. Olivia was going to be disappointed of course but she was a business woman and she would understand the desire to see the project to the end. But Doris? She was leaving town and leaving Doris to handle the fallout of their mutual decision. So as she drove she said a silent prayer.

After walking Blake to the door and agreeing to meet for lunch they kissed goodbye. Doris sat in the living room trying to visualize her evening with the other woman because it still was a shock that it had happened in the first place. Getting the girl for a couple of hours sex filled hours yes she could understand but getting the girl not having sex but agreeing to lunch and hopefully dinner later was something new altogether. Not only did the evening play out completely different that her wildest imaginings but Blake was unlike most women she shared a bed with. Blake wasn't a girl barely legal that was looking for a wild night nor was she a married woman trying to work out some life long issues. Blake Mahler was a self assured woman who knew exactly what she wanted and wouldn't lie in bed pretending to be asleep silently rushing her out of the room. Blake wouldn't look past her if they met on the street but that hardly happened any longer. Now that she was the mayor Doris trolled farther away for her conquests.

When Blake left last night to get Clarissa Doris wondered if during sometime that night Blake would rethink her decision to attempt a relationship with her. Not that she thought Blake was put off by her being a woman. Blake wasn't the type to care what anyone else thought if anything Doris could have had legitimate concern that she was after her just for the shock factor. Wandering around the house aimlessly trying to distract herself from fears she looked into each of her rooms trying to picture happier times but it was a struggle. For most of her life Doris had not felt at home anywhere especially after she realized that she was homosexual. When Ashlee was first born she finally felt the invisible band around her chest loosen. Sure it was stressful trying to figure out how to support herself and this new child but for the first time someone loved her absolutely. The liberation that she felt when holding her daughter the first time was a feeling she would never forget but soon it would slowly fade into terror. Every passing moment was pushing Ashlee toward the time when she would wonder about daddies and after Ashlee was able to have some grasp of sexuality Doris lived in dread. What would happen if somehow Ashlee met one of the women that she had sex with? What if she slept with a woman that had a child that Ashlee knew? She allowed her fear to not only stop her life but also to crush her relationship with the person she loved the most.

This was the first time that Doris felt that there might be a chance she would have to consider sharing her personal life with her daughter. Sitting down trying to figure out what dating Blake would entail her cell phone rang and flashed the only name that ever inspired genuine fear, Ashlee.

"Hey baby"

"Hi mom"

Walking up to the door Ava again sent up a prayer took a deep breath while knocking on the door.

"Hey" Doris said slowly opening the door watching the other woman warily. "I thought we decided meeting at the scene of the crime was out."

"Well I guess that means you aren't welcome in the state of California."

"I'm guessing you aren't here to invite me to family movie night?"

"Um I wouldn't put it in my blackberry yet." Ava said walking farther into the room closely brushing by Doris. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to give up. You'll be over eating Natalia's famous tuna casserole soon." Kneeling before Doris she saw her as few in the world are ever given the privilege without makeup and unguarded. "I'm not giving up on you and my mom Doris you can't either."

"Yeah well I guess that just means I'll have more minutes to roll over next month." Doris joked moving away towards the kitchen to get away from Ava. The last thing she needed right now was to break down. "I spent most of my life without friends so"

"No" Ava yelled pulling the shorter woman into a tight hug. "No matter what happens with my mom you don't have to worry about not having friends."

"Ava we fucked. We got drunk and we had sex lets not make it into a relationship okay." Doris sighed attempting to pull away. Trying to convince herself that what she was saying was actually how she felt.

"You know what you can be a hard ass with anyone else Doris but I know you and I know that I mean more to you than just a roll in the sheets. Why else would you send me those emails or those texts."

"I guess I don't mean that much to you then because you stopped responding so I don't need your charity now."

Thinking back to her first response to seeing the mayor's name in her in box she had felt trapped. Trapped by something she didn't quite know whether it was a drunken mistake or not. And if it was a mistake whose was it, hers or Doris'. She had responded at first but as more time went by between responses it became harder and harder to fill the silences. They both said that it was a mistake but where did they go from there but she knew that they both felt more than they were comfortable with showing. Days turned into weeks and by the time she had thought of something safe to say it was too late to hit the send button. "I just…I umm…I'm sorry"

"You know what its fine Ava." Doris said while turning to face the younger woman. "It happened and I knew exactly how it would play out if your mother found out. I'm a big girl I can handle it myself."

Still holding on to Doris' hand Ava again pulled her closer "No" Soon Doris gave up trying to pull away and simply stood passively in Ava's arms. "I have no excuse I was scared. I read your messages but I never knew what to say and then so much time passed that I didn't feel that I could respond. But I never once regretted what happened between us. I never forgot how you listened to me when I was so lost and alone that night. My mother thinks that you took advantage of me but the night I spent with you was the first time I really let anyone in. My whole life in San Francisco was a joke but those days we spent together I actually felt alive. So I'm so sorry that I hurt you. So sorry."

With her head bowed Doris whispered "I thought you were ashamed of me. I thought I did something that made you upset. "

Ava ended up cradling the older woman on her lap on the living room floor. After whispering softly in the woman's ear and seeing Doris slowly calm down Ava softly breathed "You know you're making enough money now to get softer carpeting" and the two ended up stretched out over each other laughing. "I'm your friend Doris and my mom is too and sooner or later she's going to realize that just like I did."

"So I guess that means I can put you on my friends list?"

"Yeah just don't expect me to follow your twitters"


	16. Chapter 16

Thankfully Ava called to tell her mom that she had some stops to make before she came in or Olivia's mood would have been fierce but as it was she wasn't miss sunshine. The staff didn't think that there would be de-stressing seminars or personalized coffee cups once the kid came on board but they did think that Olivia's attitude wouldn't be worse than the day Natalia left to work for Ms Mahler. For her part Olivia had to admit that she was a little relieved that Ava wasn't in the office yet. Last night Natalia had done her best to get her out of her funk but no matter the energy they expended when Olivia settled down for sleep Reva's loud voice wouldn't leave her thoughts. After she finally admitted defeat with Josh she had expected his ex-wife would cease being a factor in her life but no luck the bitch just wouldn't give up.

Last year when she finally admitted to herself the true extent of her feelings for Natalia Olivia started the horrible habit of honesty. This skill allowed her to enjoy a life she never dreamed possible plus but now she had less control over nagging thoughts. One such thought was the true reason for her anger of Reva.

"If I were paying you to be incompetent you'd never have a worry but I'm paying you to protect my interests. So I suggest you remember that" she yelled slamming the phone down.

"Something tells me your busy"

"Blake" she knew that sooner or later the other woman would be on her way to discuss the latest scandal in her life. Olivia still wasn't one to be invited to the society luncheons or offered the guest speaker at the rotary club but her inner circle had grown incrementally and she knew that sooner or later Blake would show. She loved her life with Natalia God she did but before the other woman she didn't have so many people vested in her personal affairs. "how exactly can I help you? Nothing wrong with Clarissa is there?"

"Thanks for that letting her stay I hadda"

"Thing?" Olivia watched the usually unflappable woman blush which under different circumstances Olivia would have bet cash was impossible but right now she was swamped and her kid was still nowhere to be found.

"Yeah a thing but actually I'm here offering my help to you?"

Stalling Olivia smiled "You have the number of a better sales consultant? Or perhaps an in with the zoning commission?"

"I might but right now I'd like to talk to you about something personal."

Rubbing her forehead and massaging her temples Olivia tried to think of all the reason that she could not just toss the redhead out on her bum. She is Natalia's friend but is also the same friend that hid her from me. "I don't have time for this right now so maybe we could do this another day" Not to care what others thought Blake just welcomed herself inside the office closed the door and sat down. "I guess I could spare a few minutes" Olivia groused sarcastically.

"What are you going to do about you and Doris?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I know about Doris and Ava"

"How the…" but then she stopped of course Blake knew if anyone in the city even thought too salaciously Blake knew but this was too much. "I don't know what the hell you think you know but if I were you I'd be glad that you found out what a looser Doris was before anything happened."

"Don't you dare" Blake said standing up indignantly. "It's not as if Ava was some impressionable teenager come on."

Now it was Olivia's turn to be indignant. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm sorry. Jesus Christ" Blake swore at herself. "I'm not here to argue with you Olivia" Blake sighed trying to calm down.

"Just why are you here?"

"I'm here because I can understand that your pissed and anyone in your position would be but to throw away your friendship over. Your best friend"

"Over what my daughter? Don't throw away a friendship with a woman who used my daughter's vulnerability to get her in the bed?" Olivia interrupted.

Walking over to stand in front of the other woman Blake tried to reason "I don't think that's how Ava saw it and I don't think that she sees it like that now either."

"How exactly would you know how my daughter sees this? What the hell is any of this your business for?"

"I know because I've talked to Doris and its my business because I" would this be the right time to announce their relationship? For so long Blake had hoped that when she and Doris finally got their acts together the friendships that they had forged with the other couple would deepen. Natalia was the first woman since college that she felt connected to other than by a man and she didn't want their foursome to end. "its my business because Doris and I are a couple"

"You have got to be fucking kidding me? She screws my daughter one day and the next she's moved on to you?"

"That's not how it was at all. Okay if you would just listen to Ava and Doris you would see"

"What I see is that you're making a huge fool of yourself. Oh my God she uses my daughter's insecurity to get her in bed and the next day she uses our fight to land you. What next meeting widows at the funeral homes"

"Listen you." Blake wasn't used to being called a fool and there was a time that she would have gone toe to toe with the baddest bitch and she was feeling her past reputation resurface.

"No you listen. You want to play naked twister with Doris go for it as long as she stays clear of Ava have at it." Olivia laughed roughly escorting Blake to the door.

"This isn't over."

Ten minutes later Ava arrived carrying caffeinated beverages but this time they were extra talls with double shots. "You keep this up and you might get that corner office yet." Olivia smiled while reaching for her liquid fix.

"Cool but this is sort of a peace offering."

"Oh my god what now? You caused a four car pile up"

Looking hurt because once again one of her parents was thinking the worst although Ava had to admit that most times they weren't that far off she attempted to snatch back the tall but would have had a better chance trying to take a turkey leg from a lion.

"Oh no you don't. I was just joking gosh. What bee's in your bonnet."

"I'm leaving and going back to California"

"Ava I know that you get your dramatics honestly but do you really think my teasing is reason enough to quit and runaway?" Olivia said with some shock.

"No, Jake called and asked that I come back for 4-5 months to help finalize the deal because some of the financing fell through"

"Month and a half"

"two"

"deal"

"Good" Ava smiled.

"That was too easy how long did you say tell him you were going to stay."

"He would have been happy for one, ha"

"Brat"

"But I'm your brat. I'm going to take some time to get my things settled and I already told him that I needed time to work for the Beacon. Mom I can still help out a lot." Ava smiled waiting on the coffee to soothe her mom's nerves.

"You're lucky that I like you."

"That and I'm cute"


	17. Chapter 17

When Doris finally made into her office at city hall she had been accosted twice by hostile citizens demanding results on their personal concerns to hell with the needs of the city. The jerks probably didn't even vote for her. All she wanted was ten minutes to finish her latte and donut before tackling the notes to the budget meeting. Thinking back she thought of Ava telling her that she would be leaving for San Francisco in the next few days and although they hadn't even been a couple she would miss the other woman. Sitting and talking to Ava was almost like talking to Olivia they had the same dry humor but whereas Olivia's comments were meant to burn most of Ava's barbs were self directed. Ava still had a sweetness that her mother had long ago locked away. Thinking back on the final night they shared Doris could not truthfully say that she had not taken advantage of the young woman but she was grateful that Ava didn't appear to have any doubts. Listening to Ava recount her attempts at reason with her mother Doris was struck again by fact that this beautiful woman had ever given her second glance. The morning after the first night they shared in Ava's apartment in San Francisco she had almost said as much to her but pride and embarrassment kept the thought concealed. It wasn't that Doris didn't know that she had considerable charm but Ava like her mother was an exquisite woman and looking at her again in her kitchen she was floored by her beauty. She could hear her phone ringing as she walked towards her office and could only pray that it would stop for at least ten minutes. "I deserve at least ten free freaking minutes. Can't have a peaceful minute" she mumbled under her breathe as she unlocked the door."

"You're lucky that Olivia got rid of her gun or you could have had an eternity of peace." Natalia said suddenly behind her when as the door opened.

With the other woman's eyes flashing she knew that this conversation would make the one she had earlier with Olivia seem like a cake walk. "I'm guessing you're not here to welcome me to the family with open arms" Doris replied without turning around. She left the door ajar and sat down behind her desk leaving it up to Natalia to continue the conversation.

"Not exactly. Can you tell me that you thought that this would turn out any other way that how it has once Olivia found out." Natalia reasoned still standing after shutting the door behind her. "Did you actually believe that Olivia would be happy that you were sleeping with her daughter?"

"It's so rare that anyone ever lives up to my high expectations. You don't have to give all the credit to your girlfriend I'm sure you were ecstatic to hear that our friendship was over." When someone pushed Doris she manned up and pushed back even if that someone was the city saint. "Now you won't have to worry about bad old Doris corrupting the newly reformed so maybe you should thank Ava that you don't have to pretend to tolerate me presence. I'm sure it's difficult for someone as righteous you to have someone like me defiling your home"

Natalia had never felt comfortable around Doris and doubted that they would ever be the close friends but she never thought that Doris felt her distance so keenly and had misinterpreted it as disapproval. "Doris"

"You know what Nat you can leave now. I screwed up just like you knew I would and Olivia hates me just like you wanted so you can spare me the lecture and just leave."

"I'm sorry"

As she was talking Doris was opening her computer and was determined to ignore Natalia until she finally left. Yes, Doris had outed the pair and yes Doris had been condescending and even a bully to Natalia but somehow she had hoped that Natalia could extend to her the warmth she offered to everyone else. In Springfield. Apparently not but it wasn't anything that Doris was going to cry over especially not in front of an audience. "Are you waiting on something? Maybe for lightening to strike me for blaspheming a saint?" Looking up she expected to see the Latina smoldering with rage if only for the religious dig but looking in Natalia's eyes she saw anything but anger. She was crying. Shit. Now Olivia really was going to kill her. "Natalia please don't God, I'm sorry okay. I didn't mean to be all anti-Catholic or whatever jeez. Christ, fuck sorry" Walking around towards the woman every time she tried to say something comforting she inevitably ended up making it worse so she just stood in front of her not knowing what to say. After helping Natalia to the chair and handing one of the cleaner napkins previously wrapped around the donut she stood watching the other woman cry softly. "I'm sorry okay. You don't have to worry you've got good reason not to like me. Jeez Natalia I'm sorry what do I have to do to make you stop crying?" Doris said looking scared for the first time Natalia could remember.

"You're a lot like her you know" Natalia said looking at Doris as if she were seeing something for the first time that was always in plain sight. "You both pretended that you don't like me until you saw me cry."

"Yeah well Olivia is pissed off enough at me."

"I'm sorry that I made you feel that I hated you" Natalia whispered trying to find Doris' eye but the other woman kept averting her face. "I don't hate you I never did"

Doris pulled away turning back to face the desk. "You don't have to lie to me Natalia. Hate is the natural response to getting to know me."

Catching Doris' wrist and pulling her back Natalia sighed "I didn't hate you I was"

"What? Mistrustful? Angry? Pissed?" To Doris any of the words and lots that were more hurtful would be appropriate responses to how she had treated the younger woman.

"I was jealous" at that admission Natalia blushed so deeply that Doris wondered if she had ruptured something.

"Come again" with a slight laugh

"You heard me" and Doris saw a bit of the fire that Olivia kept assuring her Natalia possessed. "I was jealous that Olivia would get tired of waiting on me and turn to you."

"If you think that I was throwing myself at" Doris started with anger

"I didn't say you were but you're beautiful and sexy and confident. I was afraid that she would realize that she needed someone more like herself instead of me" Natalia ended the sentence with her head hung and her hair covering her face. "You're the type of woman that should be with Olivia not a woman who waits tables and cleans hotel rooms."

"Hey you don't do that anymore and even if you did you're so smart and funny that Olivia would be a fool not to love you." At that Natalia looked up trying to see the lie in Doris' eyes. "Natalia when we're sitting around the table at the farmhouse anyone in their right mind would be proud and honored to have you."

"Blake isn't doing so bad herself"

Now it was Doris' turn to blush "she told you?"

"No, but after she demanded that I help get you and Olivia back talking I kind of figured it out." Natalia said now smirking at Doris' sudden and uncharacteristic fit of nerves.

"We are taking it slow"

"If you two take it as slow as Olivia and I did then by the time the baby's in kindergarten you'll have your first date."


	18. Chapter 18

For Olivia the two months after Ava's departure were tortuous not only because she was pushing herself to clear her schedule to spend as much time as possible home when the baby was born but also she was relearning just how small Springfield really was. Since the day she found her letch ex-best friend and her nerve fraying daughter in a lip lock she was actively trying to avoid Doris but it seemed that at least twice a week if not more she was bumping into the mayor. At first she thought these accidental meetings were engineered by the other woman but at each instance Doris seemed as mortified as she was. Not that it was the real issue because Olivia had never been the type to run from confrontation, if she were just the thought of Reva would have sent her packing years ago. No what bothered her the most was how much she missed the other woman. There were times when she saw Doris and was on her way to share something funny Emma said or a new way to terrorize her staff then she would remember. Once she had even waved and smiled at Doris but luckily Jonathan was near by so Doris assumed the overture was for his benefit. Olivia never had a best friend before actually she had never had a friend other than the type that offered extra benefits before Doris. Hell Natalia was her first close female friend since grade school and she'd fallen in love with her. With Doris Olivia could truly show her true form. Not that she worried about judgment from Natalia because Natalia showed her time and time again she could love Olivia even at her worst but Olivia never felt she had to protecting Doris from her flaws. Doris took her as she was because her flaws were Doris' as well.

Now sitting in an unfamiliar coffee shop across town because not only was she avoiding Doris but now Blake she held up the latest ultrasound photo of her youngest child. She'd taken Natalia back to their home after the appointment planning to plow through the paperwork that was hiding the large desk in her office but as soon as she saw the parking garage of the Beacon she drove right past it. Not that there was as much paperwork as there could have been since Ava had come on board. Although she was four hours and a coastline away and working full time on a complex assignment for her former employers Ava was still logging in overtime for her mother's hotel. The past few weeks Olivia spent as much as half her work day on the phone with her daughter and most of that time was spent teasing each other because she knew that Ava understood her business needs completely.

"You won't treat me like this when you and Natalia need a babysitter."

"You didn't read the fine print in your contract. Your other duties include babysitting not only for the Em and the baby but also the puppy she keeps begging for."

"As long as Clarissa's not invited"

"Oh she's invited and I'm going to give her a double shot expresso"

There was never a time when Olivia was not amazed that Ava not only wanted her in her life but acted as if there was never a time they were anything other than mother and daughter. Staring at the black and white photo of what looked like a tadpole she was partially dazed at the direction her life had taken. Two years ago she was facing the fact that she would never see her youngest daughter become an adult or know what life her oldest daughter would create and now she had not only a daughter not quite off the assembly line but a an son.

Olivia thought again about the situation between Ava and Doris. Everyone was convinced that it was her maternal protection instincts that kept her from forgiving Doris but in all honesty it was the lack of protection she displayed that fueled her anger. The worst part was that the fire wasn't even directed at Doris, yes she was a pissed when she first found out livid even but if anyone knew what a drunken night could lead to it was Olivia because she'd had enough of them. Even Natalia was fooled by Olivia's act yet what was keeping Olivia up at night other than a pair of tiny feet kicking her in the back was the stark reminder of her own continued failure where Ava was concerned. Ava left that night after she'd spoken to her and she hadn't a clue that her daughter was in such turmoil. Sitting alone in her office or at the dinner table she would recall instances where she not only placed her needs above Ava's but completely denied that the girl was important enough to needs at all. She never once looked at her daughter before handing her away to stranger and Ava lay in hospitals twice because of Olivia's actions. If anyone's disappearance could make Ava's life better it wasn't Doris' it was her own mother's. But she could never do this but she could use Doris' indiscretions to cover to hide her own guilt.


	19. Chapter 19

The day was starting off even better than she could have dreamed. She had managed to "show up" just in time for breakfast at the Mahler house for the second time that week without the youngest redhead getting suspicious. Sitting between the two of them she saw first hand the life that she could have built with Ashlee if she had not been trapped by fear. Clarissa was only ten but she and Blake talked as if they were the best of friends and when she told her about the boys in the class that she liked or hated Blake listened as if she were getting insider tips. This was what she always wanted with her own baby and she was determined to work to get it.

"Madame Mayor"

"What?" Doris said shaking her head and blinking her eyes attempting to both watch the news the woman sitting beside her "I'm sorry what did you say?"

"I was giving you a perfect platform for your reelection but you're ignoring me" Blake teased reaching over to cup Doris' cheeks. "Where were you? And before you answer you better say that I was the star attraction."

"You always are"

"Good to know" Blake laughed "but you still owe me for ignoring me for the past ten minutes. Now what did you decide about hiring someone to twitter Springfield city business it would put you in more contact with the voters."

Blake was always making suggestions to Doris on how to better interact with public and at first when they were only around each other because their proximity to either Olivia or Natalia Doris was a bit put off by it. Not that the ideas were bad, hell she was the first to admit that the woman was a PR genius but Doris was at times wondering if Blake suggested because she didn't respect the way that Doris was running the city. Then she wondered if Blake wasn't trying to insinuate herself in city's circle of power but as they spent more time together she realized that if Doris had been a hairdresser or even a cook at a fast food restaurant Blake would have still made suggestions not to put her down but because when Blake cared about someone she became personally invested in what made them happy. Blake didn't care because she had any designs for herself but because she genuinely wanted Doris to succeed.

"I just remembered that I can't spend the night tonight I have a early meeting just outside of town" Doris lied taking care not to look directly into Blake's eyes hoping that she wasn't giving anything away. She didn't know exactly how but Blake could spot a lie from her a mile off.

"Oh, well maybe you can come by tomorrow then? I have to get Clarissa up early for"

"No I don't think I can do that either" This time Doris not only avoided Blake's eyes but she also got and walked towards Blake's front door.

"Hey what's going" Blake said following close behind.

"I don't think I can come back over any this week"

Before Blake responded she turned around to wait for Doris to face her "Now I don't know what's going on with you but"

"I was hoping that you and Clarissa could come spend the night with me?" Doris whispered still not daring to make eye contact in case she had misread the younger woman. She knew that Blake would never hide her life from Clarissa the way that she had from Ashlee. Even if she didn't already know how close they were it was totally against who Blake was. Blake would never hide who she was from anyone and Doris knew that if she truly loved this woman she had to be as supportive as Blake had always been. But after a couple of seconds without any response Doris tried to backtrack. "Maybe I could come over for dinner but leave early if you don't want to" she started but was unable to finish when Blake turned her head and kissed the corner of her mouth. "I guess it's a good thing I've learned how to cook chicken and rice."

"Wait until I put Clarissa to bed later tonight then I will show you a good thing." Blake said with a laugh as Doris' face flushed red.

She would have loved to spend lunch with Blake even if it meant that she only sat watching the redhead wait tables but Blake had a meeting and unfortunately most of her own tasks for the day were resolved. At any other time Doris would have packed up early and headed over to the Beacon to aggravate and harass her best friend but for the past 2 months she had no idea what to do with her idle time. She longed to confront Olivia and take any punishment the other woman offered if only at the end she could once again have her friend but she knew well enough that if Olivia meant to end their relationship Doris could not be deter her. A few times she had deluded herself into thinking that sooner or later Olivia would relent and had even fooled herself into thinking that Olivia had waved at her but it seemed that Doris was only one missing their connection.

"Hello Mayor Wolfe" she said answering the phone.

"Wow you sound so official"

"I should hope so since I am the mayor" Doris smirked into the phone

"That's not my fault I didn't vote for you."

"Glad you feel that way so you won't be upset when you move back here and I can take you off the list for trash pick ups"

"You sound way too chipper aren't those citizens of yours driving you crazy."

"You mean more than being called up by disgruntled voters"

Doris thought that after Ava flew back to San Francisco their tie would once again sever but three days after she hugged the other woman goodbye she got a call from a California area code. They talked at least twice a week for far longer than Doris had ever been comfortable on the phone. The phone was primarily for business and even then it was only just to set up the preliminary meeting. A social call for Doris was more like a drive bye to answer who, what, when, where, and why. She never worried about going over her minutes but now she might have to up her previous plan. At first she thought their calls would be awkward and filled with loud silences but instead they talked about everything and anything. Ava was the first person that Doris had ever talked to while using the restroom although she hadn't told the other woman that yet. If someone explained this same situation to Doris she would have assumed that their was an affair in the works but if anything talking to Ava was helping her relationship with Blake. Ava was the only friend with whom she had just so happened to have had sex and Doris felt comfortable sharing things that she would have been embarrassed even to tell Olivia. It was Ava who convinced her to make her relationship with Blake official.

There was the little issue of how Blake felt when she first found out that Doris and Ava were still in contact. Clarissa was at sleepover so thankfully Doris was allowed to sleep late without the worry of sneaking back home before morning light. Blake had even agreed to spend the night at Doris' and it was good to sleep in her own bed until she heard Ava's ringtone blaring "Sober" by Pink.

Without thinking she answered "What the fuck Ava. Yeah well just because you wake up before the dead doesn't mean I do. Why do you keep forgetting we don't live in the same time zone. Call me later at a normal hour. Yeah yeah love you too" it wasn't until she heard Blake gasp did she realize what she'd said. Quickly turning around she rushed "Blake I didn't mean that how it sounded"

"So you and Ava still talk" Blake said much more calm than she would have if the situation was reversed.

Holding Blake close she whispered "Yes, we do I. I I should have told you that but we are just friends I promise. We started talking on the phone first because of the situation with Olivia and we just somehow became friends."

Blake didn't say anything for a few minutes and Doris was worried that she'd finally blown it but after a few more seconds of thought she replied "Did you tell her about me?"

"Yes of course. She's been giving me some tips actually"

"Really?" Blake said with some shock.

"Yeah she's the one that suggested the I send you wildflowers instead of roses when I kept you waiting the other day."

"In that case you should talk to her more often"


	20. Chapter 20

After returning home from her check up and practically prying Olivia off of her and pushing her out the door and back to work Natalia was hoping to spend the next thirty minutes just sitting down enjoying the silence of the house. Next month she didn't think that she would have very many silent or solitary moments. The nursery was finally finished and they had gotten almost everything that the baby would need now they were just waiting on Francesca to arrive. Sipping on her tea at the table and looking up towards the former home of her Virgin Mother statue Natalia sent up a quick pray of thanks for how well things were going. Olivia and Emma were finally home where they belonged, Rafe was slowly opening his heart if not his mind to her growing family, but what she was still astounded by was Frank. He could have made these eight months her worst nightmare if he wished but his maturity and thoughtfulness even after everything she put him through sometimes shamed her for using him during her uncertainty.

Earlier as she was sitting alone in the waiting room while Olivia got a coffee Frank quietly eased next to her. While he was laying out his plans following the birth she realized they had never discussed his role on the big day. Yes he knew that Olivia would be in the delivery room but beyond that was hazy. She would have liked to have them both there, the three most important people in the baby's life there to greet her when she joined the world but even without words she knew instinctively that Olivia would object. Not that she would ever say so. If Natalia said that Frank would be there Olivia would likely say she thought it was a great idea and pretend to be excited. Olivia was the last person to try to keep Frank out but Natalia could see the anger on Olivia's face when Frank's hand strayed to rub her stomach. Olivia's eyes went a shade that Natalia had only seen when Philip returned when Natalia held Frank's hand over the kicking infant. When Olivia realized Natalia read her face she learned to school her expressions when Frank was around. Holding a steaming cup in each hand Olivia's visible irritation at Frank stealing her seat lasted less than a second and Frank was happily unaware but Natalia strained her neck to try and hold the other woman's gaze. Frank on the left side of the table with his hand on her shoulder and Olivia on the other holding her hand Natalia could feel the waves of tension rolling from right side as the doctor showed them their little girl.

"I was wondering what we should do about the birth" Natalia started quietly turning to looking at Olivia's profile as her lover drove them back to the farmhouse.

"Um I guess we could try and get out of it but I think Ms Marissa's looking forward to seeing the ducks. And she's probably wishing for some leg room" Olivia laughed. Although it was Olivia who suggested they name the baby after Frank she was damned if she was ever going to call her little girl Frankie especially since she was going to be a Cooper as well. She was going to have to find a cute nickname fast or resort to calling her Rivera but then Natalia told her the middle name would be after Olivia's long dead sister. "We could tell her that the shop's closed." Olivia continued to tease.

"I'm serious" Natalia laughed slapping at Olivia's arm.

"What about the birth? Rissa slides out and we bring her home. That was my plan."

"Slides uh? Well they must have upgraded it since I did this last." she joked listening to Olivia laugh hoping that she relaxed enough now not to get too angry about this discussion. "I was wondering about Frank." Natalia said as the laughter died.

Olivia suddenly looked at her horrified as if she'd just said her water had broken and then smoothed her shocked eyebrow and cleared her throat to even her tone. "Frank? What about Frank"

"I was thinking maybe he could"

"Sweetie I know you two share this baby and he has every right to be a part of this but if he's in the delivery room with us I swear to God I'll kill him."

"Olivia"

"I'm not kidding and I'm not being dramatic because the thought of him sharing this with us, something so intimate and beautiful would drive me fucking insane...he made love to you before I did. He never should have touched you at all and if he were there that's all I could think about." Olivia didn't dare look at the other woman incase she had gone too far. "I'm sorry Natalia I don't have a problem with his being in the baby's life honestly I don't but I won't share that moment with him. I Can't"

"I wasn't going to suggested that he be at the birth but I would like him to be at the hospital while I was delivering. I know this is hard for you but I don't want him to feel left out." Natalia whispered with a few tears. Parking the car in the driveway Olivia took Natalia in her arms to hold her close.

Sipping on hot tea and waiting on the laundry to finish Natalia heard a knock at the front door. Walking as fast as possible for a eight month pregnant woman and was surprised when Reva stood on the other side. "Reva"

"Hi Natalia may I come in?"

After drinking their teas and freshly baked cake Reva slowly divulged the reason for her visit. Apparently Ava and Reva were even closer than she thought because Reva knew all about their shared daughter and the mayor.

"I'm sorry Reva if I'm slow but what exactly are you here for? Yes we aren't happy about what happened but Ava is a grown woman she makes her own decisions."

"If that's how you feel why is Olivia acting like a momma bear protecting a cub?" Reva asked without any heat.

Standing up Natalia wondered "What are you after here?"

"Listen I'm not trying to cause problems but maybe you could talk to Olivia about loosening up some because"

"Who do you think you are coming here" Natalia railed getting more upset than Reva could even imagine.

"I'm here because Ava is worried sick. I'm sure you know that Olivia and I won't be having our nails done together anytime soon but I love her daughter and Ava feels horrible that she and Doris haven't made up yet."

Running her hands through her hair Natalia prayed that Emma would stay the sweet girl she was and not grey her prematurely as her sister and mother were trying to. "I already told Ava that I was trying to get Olivia over this she is just going to have to be patient. Not a Spencer trait I know but she'll have to learn."

"Maybe I should talk to Olivia"

"NO! Please don't take this the wrong way Reva but you are the absolutely the last person that Olivia wants to hear about Ava from."

"She's never going to forgive me for Max is she?" When Natalia looked at her with wonder she continued "it doesn't take a genius to figure that out Nat."

"She just needs time. Olivia isn't a perfect woman but when she loves someone she'll do anything in her power to protect them."

"So I'm guessing you don't think I should go over to the Beacon after this and schedule some facials?" Reva laughed.


	21. Chapter 21

Hi, first I want to say that I am very pleased and surprised that some people are enjoying this story. I loved reading about Olivia and Natalia but I haven't actually watched the guiding light since the early 90s so most of my ideas are coming from what I've read in fanfiction. Also I try my best to go over the past few chapters to keep things as smooth as possible but I realized late that I've made some error like Olivia calling the baby Francesca in one chapter and then later chapters saying Marissa. This is my first go at this fan fiction thing so please excuse my mess. I only have a general idea how the landscape looks at the end so bare with me. But I do promise to finish and I promise to update as often as possible as I hate waiting myself. So that's that. slf

On the drive to pick up Clarissa from school Blake tried to rehearse telling her daughter about her relationship with Doris. At times her baby could easily be mistaken as a drama queen and even a bit needy. Clarissa's energy could tax even the most energetic babysitter and often she had to switch between two or three because the teenager would require at least a week's recovery from a standard four hour shift. The first time that Doris appeared at her door for dinner with her and Clarissa Blake could now say that she was more than a little nervous. Doris wasn't known for having a winning personality with any age group especially those that weren't old enough to vote. Before they started dating Blake would have had some doubts that the woman was even capable any facial expressions beyond a smirk. Not that she didn't believe that Doris couldn't be warm but it wouldn't do to wait on it. So after sleeping together for two weeks Blake was floored when Doris asked if they could start moving their relationship outside of the bedroom. She had thought that only threatening to withhold sex would prompt the announcement and she was absolutely stunned and mouth ajar when Doris suggested that they begin by sharing dinner with Clarissa.

"What you don't feel comfortable telling your daughter!? But you're comfortable fucking me down the hall from her?" Doris spat with some asperity.

"Are you out of your mind?" Blake responded still slightly dazed.

"Obviously I am. I thought this meant something to you other than completing a bucket list but I guess I was wrong!" and started stalking out.

But not before Blake grabbed her arm and forced her to turn around. "First if you want me to be capable of having a serious conversation don't start it in a bathroom stall when I have my pants down and your fingers up my"

"Jesus Cripes" Doris hissed promptly covering the other woman's mouth with her least messy hand. "Someone could come in jeez"

As she was pulling up her pants Blake gave her own hiss "You weren't worried about that before." and proceeded to both to agree with her infuriating girlfriend and set a future date for the deed. For the next ten minutes Doris was obliged to again cover Blake's mouth but for a completely different reason.

To say that the dinner went well was an understatement. It went phenomenally. Not only did Doris and Clarissa meshed they practically melded and if Blake didn't know better she would have thought her daughter had designs on her woman. Thank God she was only ten or there might be trouble. She was surprised that Doris could keep up with the little ball of energy it was only because she was a bit manic herself that Blake could. The ability to keep up was key but that Doris didn't treat the dinner as just filler until Clarissa was put to bed was make or break and Doris passed with flying colors. Every night that Doris wasn't over Clarissa was inquiring about her whereabouts. They had been a couple for two months when they decided to officially come out to the little girl.

"Hey honey how was school" Blake started as soon as Clarissa got buckled in to the car. "How would you like to stop by McDonald's for a snack?"

Knowing her mother better than anyone else Clarissa was put on guard at first by the screechy tone her mom's voice took. That was the voice she used when she was due for a shot or the time her hamster died. What's happened now she worried. Going through her checklist she tried to identify what could possibly have her mom have her normally no sugar no fried foods and definitely not before dinner mom offering her a happy meal. "Oh no you and Doris broke up" Clarissa moaned.

"What!? No we haven't broken up."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Why on earth would you think something's wrong?" Blake said trying still to follow her daughter's logic.

"You only take me to McDonald's when something bad happened. Are you and Doris taking a break?"

"A break? What the hell? Where did you learn about a break?" Now Blake was craning her neck to catch Clarissa's eyes.

"I'm not a baby mom" Clarissa sighed "and Cathy watches Degrassi when she watches me sometimes"

Note to self Blake said silently never use Cathy as a babysitter and see what my daughter's been exposed to on this Degrassy show. "No Doris and I have not broken up nor are we taking a break I was going to tell you that" leave it to her daughter to upstage her. It was official her daughter was a drama queen. "I was thinking that you and I spending the night over Doris' house would be a good idea." After getting over her initial shock at her daughter's wide knowledge base she was back to being nervous. Just because Clarissa was okay with them dating didn't mean that she was fine with spending the night at Doris' house so her voice returned back to the higher bad news range.

"I guess that's fair since she always spends the night with us."

"uh?" Better yet don't ask Blake thought.

Blake was coming back from putting Clarissa to bed in the guestroom and was waiting on Doris to come out of the bathroom when the phone rang. She promptly answered the phone and as she said hello she remembered that she wasn't at home. Fuck a duck. Doris is going to kill me.

"Blake?"

"Ashlee, hi I um. I um" Blake started not knowing how to continue. Doris had only just invited her over and now she was acting like they were living together. "I um dropped something off at your mom's and I um" but laugher in her ears clued her in that Clarissa wasn't the only daughter told of their status.

"I didn't mean to lie I just didn't know if your mom had told you or not"

"Don't worry your smooth cover wouldn't have clued me in"

"Ha ha" Blake said in a teasing tone.

"Could you ask my mom to call me tomorrow?"

"You sure you don't want to wait or call back in a few minutes she should be out soon." Blake said looking towards the door.

"Yeah I'm going to wait until tomorrow so I'm counting on you to make sure she's in a good mood."

"You need some cash uh?"

"Let's just say I've been doing my part to improve the economy."


	22. Chapter 22

"Whatdaya wan" Olivia groaned into the phone that was ringing way too early. The previous night Olivia and she had enthusiastically followed the doctor's suggestion that frequently sex can hasten and ease the delivery that was penciled in for in less than four weeks. After the big day it might be a long time before Natalia felt well enough or attractive enough to manage a passionate night and she didn't want them to waste the opportunity. So conscientious were they that after getting into bed at ten pm they were just now attempting sleep at two am except some asshat was calling. Not that Natalia would ever use such a word outside of her mind and she was definitely going to have to spend an extra few minutes contemplating with God on the sad state of her vocabulary because like it or not Olivia was having impact on her in and out of the bed.

The nursery had been completed, the rocking chair assembled, and the basinet nearby so all that was missing was the long awaited baby. Each day that passed Emma was looking at Natalia and her expanding stomach with less patience. It was as if the ten year old thought that Natalia were purposely holding Francesca hostage. Upon waking and reaffirming that the baby had not silently come in the night Emma groused and marked off another day on the calendar. Natalia had a few concerns on how Emma would take it if the baby decided to hold out longer than expected. "Francesca" she mumbled to her stomach after Emma made her daily appraisal "one thing you're going to learn is that Spencer's don't like to be kept waiting honey. If you don't come out I'm afraid Emma's going to try to go in." Emma need not have worried because if there were anyway to safely rush her littlest girl out into the world Natalia would be the first to try. As much as she was enjoying the pregnancy she was starting to miss not only her feet and caffeine but also tuna and sleeping through the night not to mention a bladder bigger than a teaspoon.

"Oh God! Oh God" Natalia heard faintly in the background and wondered how she was causing this reaction in Olivia half asleep, maybe Olivia was right and she was a sex goddess. But after hearing the older woman stumbling in the dark and absently cursing with each new bruise she attempted to pry her eyes open to Olivia screeching "Where the fuck did I put my keys".

"Olivia"

"Where the fuck are my shoes. Oh God. Oh God I'm going to be" but Olivia never finished the sentence and Natalia heard her retching in the adjoining bathroom.

"Olivia what's wrong" Natalia said holding back blonde hair. "Honey what's wrong, talk to me"

"It's" Olivia started but was again overcome with emotion as she sank from standing over the sink to the cold tile floors below head thrown back and nearly hyperventilating.

"Olivia talk to me what's wrong is it your heart baby?" Natalia leaned down as far as she could before settling on the edge of the tub with her hands moving from holding hair to feel the pulse on Olivia's neck.

"Ava" Olivia said gasping "Ava's hurt. She's been in an accident and I have to get there. They said that she was" This time Olivia was throwing up even before she could turn her head towards the tub. "she was shot"

"Oh God" it was all Natalia could do not to stumble off the tub herself. "Oh God"

Somehow Natalia got Olivia into the shower and they sat under the hot spray allowing it to rinse away their tears and Olivia's weakened stomach. Ten minutes later Natalia was dressing her seemingly vegetative girlfriend. Olivia hadn't said anything further since telling her about Ava. Her eyes were unfocused and Natalia was beginning to worry about shock. "Olivia honey" she started as she pulled panties up the other woman's legs. "Where is Ava? Where was she shot baby?" Natalia asked scared to further upset Olivia but needing the information so they could get to Ava. "Baby who did you talk to? Did they say where they were calling from?" But after she had completely dressed Olivia and herself without any signs of life from the woman Natalia went to grab the cell phone from the bedside.

"She's in San Francisco. San Francisco General." Olivia said in a daze.

Moving back to Olivia's side and taking her hands Natalia said as calmly as she could "Okay so we just have to get to the hospital honey. You sit here and I will call Philip so he" but stopped suddenly when Olivia clenched her hands tightly.

"I can't loose her Nat. I can't. If she dies"

"You're not going to loose her, we aren't. Now you sit right here and I will call Philip"

"Emma" Olivia said standing up moving to walk out the room "we have to get her"

But not before Natalia turned her around and back onto the bed. "I will wake up Em, I'm going to call Philip and tell him we are going to drop her off. Then we are going to fly to California"

Hearing Natalia's plans Olivia snapped to for a moment "You can't fly. You're too far along. The doctor won't let you"

"I don't give a damn what the doctor says Olivia, Ava needs us and I'm going to be there for her" this was the first time that Olivia really looked at her girlfriend and saw just how affected she was by the news. Yes Natalia was taking charge but Olivia could see the distress from the tightness of her lips and how pale she was. Looking at Natalia somehow enabled Olivia to focus on doing what needed to be done to get them to her daughter as soon as possible. She let Natalia talk to Philip as she walked out the house to the car holding Emma who was still in her pajamas. Calling for airline tickets on the forty minute drive to the mansion it was clear they were going to have problems not only with Natalia's advanced pregnancy but also the lack of flights out. If they were in Chicago it would not be a problem but as it were it wouldn't be until six if they lucked up on standby. "Drive two hours to get to Chicago just to fly two hours to California what the fuck. I swear to God" Olivia was railing. Usually Natalia was totally against driving and phoning but Olivia could not just sit idle until they got to Philip's and when she pulled out the phone Natalia didn't think it was the best time to bring up safety points. "I swear to God if something happens because I couldn't get to her fast enough" she continued rolling down the window and throwing the phone out the window. "Oh my God what the fuck did I do that for" Olivia screamed and tried to snatch Natalia's phone when she saw it.

"NO!" Natalia said snatching right back.

"I need a phone!" Olivia accused.

"You need to calm down!" count to ten Natalia she said to herself. "Listen I am going to call Philip and ask if we can use his plane or if not maybe the Lewis plane. I don't care. I will get us to Ava you just concentrate on getting us to the mansion in one piece"

One hour later they were sitting on the Spaulding Corporate jet ten minutes from Springfield airfield. By the time they made it to the mansion Philip had the flight arraigned as well as the ride to the hospital and waiting in the car another blackberry would be awaiting its chance for a flying destruction by Olivia's hands. "It was so stupid to trash my phone. Now what if something happens to Ava they won't be" but Olivia couldn't finish for the tears.

"Sweetie they haven't called. I checked your voice mail before we got on the plane and I had the front desk staff transfer your calls to my phone."

"I don't deserve you." Olivia whispered.

Laughing Natalia held Olivia's face in her hands and wiped away the flowing tears. "No what you don't deserve is another blackberry. Get some sleep I will wake you as soon as we land. I promise."

One hundred and thirty minutes later she and Olivia were on the freeway in the back of a limo flooring it to the ER. The waiting sucked but the absolute worst was rolling on to the tarmac going through the appropriate maneuvers before disembarking the plane. Natalia knew that Olivia was worried hell she was sick with worry but she was considering asking the captain if they had an emergency tranquiller on board as she watched as Olivia refused to remain seated as she paced up and down the isles. Only the drivers assurance that he could indeed haul ass kept Olivia from behind the wheel of the stretch limousine.

"She's going to be okay"

"The last message said that they were going back to surgery. What the fuck they didn't do it right the first time?" Olivia asked with liquid eyes.

Natalia whispered "Baby we are almost there just hang on okay?"

"How are you? How's the baby?"

"We will be fine as soon as we know how her big sister is"

When they finally made through the admittance staff and back towards the emergency surgery waiting room they still had no clearer idea about how Ava got hurt or her condition now. "If someone doesn't tell me something soon" Natalia searched the halls for someone anyone that might know something because Olivia having a fit in the waiting room was the last thing they needed right now.

"Olivia, Natalia"

"What the hell" they both said to each other turning towards the strangely familiar voice.

"Ash?" Natalia said looking at the distraught blonde.

"Ashlee what are you doing here? What's going on with Ava?" Olivia said without screaming surprising all three ladies. "What's going on" but with each second of not knowing what was happening to her baby her control was slipping further and further away.

"It was all my fault"

Oh shit Natalia said to herself looking at Olivia and stepping in between her and the girl. She didn't think that Olivia would physically accost Ashlee but she didn't want to risk it. "What do you mean Ash" Natalia started watching as Olivia's eyes got a wild sheen.

"We were going to take a cab to dinner but I made us walk." Tears were flooding her eyes. "I said it would be healthier and it would be more" but she swallowed shaking her head unable to finish. "We were talking and laughing when this guy pulled me. He grabbed me and tried to" and at this Ashlee broke down in the middle of the hallway crying engulfed by the arms and tears of Olivia and Natalia.


	23. Chapter 23

The time might be a bit hinky. Sorry.

At twelve thirty in the morning Doris was sitting at her desk working on the city budget. She would have rather been in bed with a certain redhead but since the deadline was nearing Doris thought it was best that they spend what was increasingly becoming rare, a night apart. A usual night now included paperwork, dinner, the latest episode of Hannah Montana before a few hours of adult recreation in bed but if the three were going to spend the weekend in Chicago this budget needed doing. Before merging her life with the Mahlers' it was nothing for Doris to spend late nights and early mornings doing paperwork in an effort to stop her mind from dwelling on how empty her life and her home were since her daughter's departure to California. Blake called to say goodnight at eleven and she knew that her girlfriend normally went to bed as early as ten when she was alone but Doris kept looking at the phone hoping for another final call. The numbers and words were starting to run together by the time she the house phone rang. Smiling to herself she answered "You couldn't sleep without me?"

"Mom" Ashlee cried.

The next forty-five minutes went by in a blur for Doris. She had to call her deputy and inform him she would be out of the state for the next couple of days with no clear idea when she would available. She picked up one of her pre-packed suitcases praying that the clothes inside were appropriate for winter in the Bay Area and hopefully were clean. Calling in a favor she was able to get on the last flight to California but there was a two hour layover in Chicago but considering the alternative of waiting until six am she was grateful. On the drive to the airport she blared the radio as high as it would go and both rolled down the windows and blasted the air conditioning because she would rather think about the cold and the lack of singing skills in today's entertainment rather then go over how close she had come to loosing her daughter today. Standing in the lobby waiting to board the plane she remembered that she was supposed go by Blake's in the morning for breakfast.

"Hello?" Blake mumbled more than half asleep.

"I'm sorry to be calling so late Blake but I'm not going to be coming over this morning. I will call you later to tell you more." This was insane why on earth would she call Blake in the middle of the night when she could have told her this after she had landed in California. "Listen Blake I'm sorry I'll let you get back to"

"No what's going on? What's wrong?" Blake said with worry.

"I shouldn't have called. I don't know why I did." But she did know why she had called because of everyone she knew Blake was the only person that could make this situation tolerable other than Ashlee. Hearing Blake's voice meant that her world had not completely imploded. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

"Baby what's wrong?" this time she could hear not only Blake's worry but also her tears.

"Ash called she was hurt. Some asshole tried to rob her and she got hurt and she's at the hospital and she's scared."

"Oh my God, I'll be right there I'll get Clarissa and" Blake rambled.

Doris could hear things crashing over the phone "No that's okay I'm already at the airport. I'm on the last flight out. I just wanted to"

"I'll come as soon as I get Clarissa settled in school"

"You don't have to do that" Doris started but Blake continued as if she was never interrupted.

"and I'll ask Matt to pick her up when he gets Maureen. I'll be out as soon as I can."

"Thanks" Doris whispered and added an I love you before boarding. Doris would have liked nothing better than to have spent the flight and layover getting drunk on over priced vodka but she wanted her mind to be sharp for Ashlee when she landed. First she would make sure her daughter was okay and then she would bring the wrath of God on the bastard who did this. During the taxi ride to the hospital Doris thought of the week she spent with Ashlee at Berkeley helping her ready her apartment for the new semester. The two actually spent the entire time laughing and finally having the relationship she had wished and cried so many nights for. They had made plans to spend the summer in Mexico sunning and drinking the days away. Maybe not drinking because she wasn't yet ready to introduce Ashlee to drunk or even slightly tipsy Doris.

At first the front desk told her that Ashlee had been released and was no longer on the site. It was obvious that they were used to dealing with troublesome patients but after one good look at her face the woman behind the counter decided to make a few phone calls. A badly sprained wrist and bruised shoulder was Ashlee's disposition upon release so why was she in general surgery Doris kept thinking as she ran down the hall. Rounding the corner she saw two familiar figures huddled close together in a far corner. Oh fuck.

"Hey, funny seeing you two here"

"Doris" Natalia said standing up moving forward to enfold her in a hug as best she could eight months pregnant. "Have you seen Ashlee yet?"

"No I just got here. Could you tell me what's going on because the front desk at this dump was no help at all."

"Seems that you met the two lovely ladies tweedledumb and tweedledumbass."

Natalia shook her head "I'm going to go get something from the cafeteria do you guys want anything?"

"You don't have to do that for me Natalia" Doris started.

"It's not for you my butt hurts and the baby insists on jumping on my bladder. I'll be back in a bit sweetheart."

"So?"

"Ashlee is fine. She's a little banged up but she's with the police right now. They wanted to see her alone or I else would have gone with her."

"Thanks I know you would have." Doris said hazarding sitting in the seat over from the woman she still considered her best friend. "How's Ava? Ashlee said that she'd lost a lot of blood and they'd rushed her to surgery."

"No one's come down yet. They left a message over two hours ago that they had to redo her surgery but the prim Donna fuckers haven't deigned to come back with updates."

She could tell that Olivia had been attempting to sensor herself for Natalia's benefit but now given the opportunity to vent she was taking advantage. "Olivia this is a really good hospital and if they aren't we'll own the place. But she's strong Spence she has to be she's your kid." Doris said as she took the other woman's hands in her on. "In a few days she'll be up and bugging you for a bigger office."

Smiling Olivia nodded her head and took a hand back to wipe the tears slipping down her face. "So how long have you known about this?" she smirked.

"I'm guessing about a few hours before you did."

"I can't imagine why they wouldn't want to spread the news" Olivia offered with rolled eyes towards the mayor.

"You and Ava share the same ex-husband so I don't think you can make any jokes" Doris huffed trying to sound properly offended but she was just glad that Olivia was putting the past to rest if only temporarily. "It will make family dinners interesting that's for sure."

"You better tell Blake to watch Clarissa the Spencer magic strikes again"

"oh God only you would find away to turn this into bragging right"

Laughing Olivia added "When you got it" but stopped mid sentence when Natalia appeared in the doorway with a cup holder filled with four drinks and a bag of snacks. For a few minutes Doris could imagine that the past two months of anger never occurred. After taking a cup and a bag of chips Doris stood up and moved further away to give the pair some space. She had almost sat down in a chair on the other side of the room when she heard Olivia calling her back "Wolfe only you would take food and run because I know you're not trying to say that we stink" and it took her a few seconds to blink back the threatening tears. But before she moved back she heard "Mom" from a weeping Ashlee. The first moments of holding her daughter close were spent in silent prayer but after a few beats she asked "Honey how are you?"

"I, I'm" but after that Ashlee didn't say anything. Doris just held her quaking daughter close and whispered "I love yous" over and over again. Looking over her shoulder back towards Olivia and Natalia who trying to give the mother and daughter minute Doris inclined her head indicating a group hug was needed. A couple of minutes later she stepped away to check her messages and listened to Blake's latest telling her that she should be arriving in the city by seven thirty thanks to the time difference. Afterwards she left her own message and told her what hotel they would be staying at. Walking back into the lobby she saw Ashlee blushing so hard she looked as if she'd fallen asleep in the sun for a few hours. A laughing Olivia was protecting her stomach from Natalia's swatting hands. "Hey there are laws against domestic abuse"

"Yeah and there are probably some against you torturing my kid"

"If your kid has spent any time with mine she's used to it or she better get used to it fast"

Whatever Ashlee was about to say died when they saw a doctor in surgical garb coming further into the room. "Ms Wolfe?"

"That's me. I'm Ashlee Wolfe" Ashlee said as everyone encircled the doctor.

"You came in with Ms Peralta right? Her girlfriend?"

"Yes I um, these are her mom's and my mom."

"Mrs Peralta your daughter came out of surgery well. She got shot near the clavicle and the bullet went straight through. We had to go back in because there was still some additional bleeding but she's fine now. They've taken her to recovery and in an hour or so she should be placed in a room. I don't think that other than a scar and a few bad memories any major damage was done." Knowing that she wouldn't be up to any reasonable discussions Doris took the doctor aside for more in depth questioning as Ashlee and Natalia took Olivia back to their side of the room. After finally hearing that Ava would be fine and was out of danger Olivia could finally let go of the worry and let out her anguish. Before the doctor left he shook everyone's hands but once he got to Ashlee he said "You must be a special girl because she refused to go under until she found out you were okay. Surgery would have been over an hour ago but she had to question your doctor personally."

"Sounds exactly like a Spencer" Natalia said rolling her eyes.


	24. Chapter 24

"I know I'd like to know how you two ended up together what about you Dorey?" Olivia teased with twinkling eyes. Looking around Ashlee knew better than to look to her mother for help on this. Curiosity was sure to win out now that she was okay and Ava was out of out of danger. So she batted her eyes at her only hope but Natalia was shaking her head and was sporting her own set of gleaming eyes. Oh lord the only way I'm getting out of this is if I bust a blood vessel. It could be worse she thought as she looked for an easy exit Blake could be here. Oh bunk mom said she was coming later. Cripes on a cricket.

"I was just mugged you guys"

"We can do this the easy way or we can wait until Blake and Ava are here and see how it goes then" Doris added delicately. Her very own mother, screw. Blake might take mercy on her, the national budget might balance but these were within logical possibilities however she knew without a doubt that if she had to endure this along with Ava's smirk a burst blood vessel was the least of her worries. "Fine. I hope that you all are happy ganging up on me"

"We will be soon as you tell us how the most unlikely pair hooked up." Natalia said with a grin.

"You mean other than you and Olivia" she added without thought and then immediately covered her mouth in shock and she was about to apologize when the group burst out laughing.

"I think Ava's been rubbing off on someone." Doris countered.

"Which one though?" Olivia said looking from mother to daughter but then blanched when everyone looked at her with shock. Edit button please. "I'm sorry I"

"Okay I'm going to say this once so I suggest that everyone remember and listen close. Ava and my mom's" she said with a pause and an actual shudder "indiscretion is in the past. It happened and it is never ever going to never ever happen again and that's the last time anyone is going to bring it up unless they want a few events of their own lives to be up for review." She held each woman's eyes in a hard stare and no one in the group doubted that this was a topic that was never going to be opened again. A life time with me but after only after a few weeks with Ava and her daughter had grown a brass pair Doris thought. From the looks that Olivia was throwing her she was impressed as well.

"Good. Now I might as well get this over with"

Two months ago there was a maintenance emergency so all of the Friday classes were cancelled. Daisy had immediately called up James but not wanting to be a tag along Ashlee had decided to spend her long weekend exploring San Francisco. A few hours later sitting down at the sushi bar she thought heard a familiar voice. Turning around trying to clear her mind of the its sake induced haze she saw a female figure holding her hands up to the chest of a standing male pushing him away. The woman was sitting down looking around trying catch someone's eye, anyone's eye to ward off an impending scene. "You need to calm down Jake."

Moving out of the seat and leaning on the wall directly across from the couple she tried to listen and hear what the guy said but he was obviously wobbly. He was moving closer to the woman and had moved to crouch in front of her trapping her in the chair. Looking around the room to the other guys in the restaurant it was obvious that no one was going to do anything. Ashlee was non confrontational as a rule but when jerkboy tried to kiss the woman and even grabbed her head with both hands when she refused Ashlee was finished and the drinks of sake helped considerably. "What the hell are you doing with my girlfriend" she shrieked surprising not only the kneeling guy and the seated woman but herself as well.

"Ashlee?! What are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you the same thing?" Ashlee yelled taking the opportunity to push the stunned jb off the chair and onto the floor. "You leave my girlfriend alone or"

Interrupting "Do you know this woman Ava?" Jake said standing up still a little slow on the uptake.

"Yeah she's" Ava said also rising.

"Don't you worry who I am jerkboy you just stay away if you know what's good for you! Come on Ava" grabbing Ava's hands and physically pulling her out she stopped by the bar and told her waitress that the dolt at the table would be picking up her check. As they were leaving she heard several rounds of applause in the background. Now what she thought as she dropped Ava's hand as they got a few feet from the entrance. Ashlee didn't know what to expect once she turned around maybe a slap in the face or maybe a deck was more her style? But when she heard Ava's hard laughter and occasional snort she thought maybe her face was safe although it wasn't easy to tell with Spencers.

"Oh my God. You should have seen his face when you screamed at him. Hell I was scared for a minute." Ava added still laughing and wiping away stray tears. "if they could see us now"

Cautiously Ashlee tried to gauge Ava for any hostility. "I'm sorry if I ruined things with Jake I just"

Smiling Ava replied "No I liked jerkboy better"

"Okay, I didn't mean to make a scene I just thought maybe you needed an out"

"I hate to see what you do when you are trying to cause a scene then." Looking towards her Ava cocked her head and said "So now that you've graciously gotten rid of Jake otherwise known as Jerkboy and provided tonight's excellent entertainment what do you suggest for dinner?"

"He didn't even get you food?" Looser.

"He did but I have never been that fond of raw fish."

"So why did he take you?"

"Why ask why when it comes to JB? What's important is I'm starving" Ava supplied pulling the blonde down the street. They spent the rest of the weekend watching tv and visiting parks. Ava could afford to do more but Ashlee didn't feel comfortable making the older woman pay her way. She had saved at least thirty dollars last night she only wished she had gotten something more expensive but she was still a struggling student. Ava invited her to spend the weekend at her apartment and she spent most of her weekend there anyway but Ashlee thought it was safer to keep her hotel room in case things went south. Ava insisted that she call the moment she got back on campus but after that conversation she never expected to talk to the other woman again.

The weekend had been fun, awesome actually, but Ava was Ava and she was definitely not anything close to Ava. But Monday morning during her physical science lecture she remembered that JB worked in Ava's office. What if? So she texted the woman asking how her day was going. The number was in her log so she might as well ask. A few seconds later she got a response and thought cool she could delete the number now but never did. A few hours later at lunch she saw the exact pair of shoes that Ava lusted over on a student so she snapped a picture and texted again. At four when she still hadn't gotten a response she scrolled through her phone intent on deleting the number when she saw a new message with a photo of JB that had been photo shopped with a dunce cap added. Over the next few days every so often she would send something and then Ava would respond. Friday evening after the end of her final class Ashlee sat at her desk and threw back a leftover JellO shot with Patron and casually inquired about Ava's weekend commenting subtly that there was a film fest happening. Ashlee had not invited Ava directly but she texted how much fun it would be if Ava were there. And waited. "O K C U N A few" Ashlee still had that message saved on her phone.

For three weeks she would ride the train to Ava or Ava would drive to her. Daisy was beginning to wonder where she was spending all her time and who she was texting every five minutes. Before Ava Ashlee was just as likely to leave her cell phone on the desk as to put it in her bookbag. Daisy was the only person aside from her mother that called her regularly and Daisy was in most of her classes and she would talk to her mom eventually. After that weekend the cell phone had earned a carrying case on her hip for easy access. But she didn't know exactly what they were. They talked about everything their crazy parents, life, fashion, crazy Springfield but each weekend she was astounded that Ava was spending time with her instead of on one of the many guys she knew had to be chasing her. If she considered it she just assumed that JB had been such a headcase that Ava was taking a break. Her own reasons for spending hours typing to Ava she didn't want to delve into too deeply. Lets just say it was a good thing she knew her mom had automated the payments for their cell phone bills or she would have some explaining to do.

After a month of shared weekends it was Ashlee's week to travel but she never got a solid confirmation on their plans to of sitting by the shore. It was Thursday night and way past the usual okay time. Ava hadn't sent as many messages today. Lying in bed she tried to figure up how much time she was devoting to Ava and tried to figure out how to fill those hours if

"Hello" she said without looking at the caller ID.

"Hey"

"Ava?"

"Yeah you sound surprised" Ava laughed

"You never call"

"Well I'm too tired to text and your free nights should have started by now right?"

Turning to look at her clock she saw that it was eleven pm two hours after she'd sent her last message. She'd spent two hours sitting in bed worrying about Ava. I'm screwed. "Yeah" she whispered. "I thought you weren't going to answer. I went to bed"

"Oh"

Silence. Not good.

"Do you want me to"

"NO! I mean" sitting up and covering the phone to take a few deep breathes "I'm fine. What's up?"

"I can't see you this weekend I have some work to do that I have been avoiding."

Screw more lengthy silence.

"But my supervisor asked me to visit a client close to your campus so I could see you next week Monday and Tuesday evenings if"

"Yes, yes Ava I want to see you" In the two hours that Ashlee had lain in bed looking forward to days and weekends ahead without Ava she realized that she would give anything just for another shot that she hadn't even known she'd wanted. The three women were still sitting in the waiting room hanging on her every word. The words rapt and riveted would not be too far a stretch she thought noticing the hanging mouths and huge eyes of her mother, Olivia, and Natalia.

"Mrs Peralta your daughter has been taken to her room. Would you like me to escort you all to the room?"

From the blinking eyes and the glances she could tell that they were torn between hearing the rest of the story or seeing Ava. "Yes we're ready to go thank you."


	25. Chapter 25

On one of the many Saturday nights that Ava and Ashlee spent watching DVD's Ava had a loud knock at her door. Looking at each other wondering Ava approached asking loudly who was on the other side. They spent the first part of the day walking the city for hours taking photographs and had finally settled down to a night of Mel Brooks movies and cheap wine and Chinese food. The evening started in the living room With a Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum but now they were lying on her bed dying with laughter from a scene in Space Balls. Ashlee had just gotten back from her third potty break and Ava was teasing that the next time she wasn't going to pause the movie without payment next time.

"What kind of payment?" Ashlee giggled. "I have exactly thirty two dollars in my account I after paid my half of the delivery bill." She still wasn't letting Ava pay her way and she felt bad enough that Ava had to keep paying for her tickets across the Bay and her own gas on the way down.

"Maybe I don't want cash" Ava said easing closer to the edge of the bed. Breathe chic Ava said to herself.

Pursing her lips and tapping her temple Ashlee lay face down on the bed so that her head was just touching Ava's knee "Ummm what do you want me to write a term paper for you?"

Oh my God Ava don't fuck this up. "I was thinking maybe you could" but suddenly remembering each of her most recent couplings she was regretting the amount of alcohol Ashlee had. Not that either was drunk but she didn't want this to happen because of artificially lowered inhibitions. Moving and standing up she forced herself to lighten her tone "I have some laundry and some dishes that could use some work" but the look in Ashlee's eyes showed that the switch wasn't as smooth as she had hoped.

"Ava" Ashlee said crawling off of the bed towards her.

Oh fuck she thought turning around but when Ashlee reached her silently questioning there was a loud ring of in the front room.

"It's me Ave. Open up we need to talk." Fuck the duck, what now?

Leaving the chain engaged she pulled the door slightly open and looked out and enquired to Jake "What's up?" Earlier he texted that they had some work to go over but after she responded with ok he hadn't sent another message and that was over four hours ago. Now he was at her door with her favorite pizza by the smell and a bottle of wine but she didn't see any folder of work unless it was in his pocket. "It's late Jake"

"A, come on let me in" Turning back towards Ashlee the other woman nodded her head to let him inside. Walking in he was smiling saying "Thank God the pie's getting cold" but he suddenly stopped once he saw Ava's other guest.

"Jake I'm a little busy. If you needed to come by you should have said so earlier."

"Better yet you should have waited for Monday" Ashlee said without any preamble. "But thanks for the pizza Ava and I love mushrooms" and snatched both the pizza and the wine away.

"A what the hell are you doing here?"

"Jake"

"None of your business asshole you're a married man with a child so why don't you go spend time with them and leave AaaaVahh alone."

"A we need to work on"

"Jake"

"Go work on something with your wife dickhead"

"Ashlee!"

"Don't Ashlee me. Did you ask him to come here?"

"What Ave and I do is"

"I didn't ask you dumbass I asked Ava. Ava did you ask JB to come tonight?"

"No I didn't but"

"So leave"

"If Avie wanted me to leave she would ask me Bitch"

"Don't you dare Jackson you can get the hell out of my house right now"

"Ok okay I'm sorry I just need to talk to you okay. Please it's important" Jake said holding his hands up. "I'm sorry Ashlee I didn't mean it."

Now totally ignoring JB Ashlee sat the items down and pulled Ava closer into the room and farther from Jake. "Ava come on don't do this he's"

"Ashlee I'm going to talk to Jake could you wait for me in the bedroom?"

"What?"

"Ash please just for a few minutes."

Looking at JB a final time before leaving she let her eyes show just what she thought of him. "I'll be right out if you need me AAAVAHHH!" and slammed the door.

"Jesus" she was going to hear about this at the next tenants meeting that's for sure.

"What the hell is going on here? You trying to make a point or something?"

"You said you had something to say." For the next ten minutes Jake tried his level best to stir up emotions even simple lust to win Ava back. "You can come back out Ash" Ava called out as she cleared off the condensation on the table from the pizza.

"Where's everything?"

"I told him to give them to his wife."

"Good but you should have at least took the wine even if it was cheap."

"I think that you've had enough for the night Ash. I'm kind of tired so I'm going to bed. You know where the stuff is. See you in the morning" and she left without once looking up to see the other girl's eyes. She had spent almost an hour under the hot shower cursing herself for almost ruining everything. Maybe this wasn't ever going to happen, hell she had fucked her mother if that wasn't the kiss of death almost sleeping with her while Ashlee was clearly drunk was a clear sign that she might not be as ready for this as she thought she was. "Damn it" she cried sinking down under the spray. Now an hour later tossing and turning under the covers silently crying she tried her best to shut off her mind. "Ashlee was right I should have kept the bottle"

"See you should always listen to me"

"Oh My God!" she shouted sitting up in bed. "You scared the crap out of me" Ava said with her hand over her heart. "You trying to kill me or something!?"

"What's going on Ava?" Ashlee whispered standing just inside the door. The light was on in the hallway so Ava couldn't see Ashlee's expression very well and she hadn't come any further into the room.

"Other than you giving me a heart attack?" she tried to joke but Ashlee hadn't moved or said anything and her head was trained on Ava's. "You should go back to sleep Ash. Ash?" Now it was her turn to whisper "Ash?"

"Why did you stop us tonight? I thought I hoped that we were feeling the same thing. Please don't tell me you are still in love that jackass." Ava's laughter filled up the room but it wasn't funny. "It's not funny Ava fuck! Is he the reason you don't want this? Are you hung up on that asshole?"

"Jackson? God no he has nothing what so ever to do with this except."

"Except what Ava because I thought earlier on the bed we were both wanting the same thing. If not just tell me I'm wrong."

"You're not wrong Ash"

"So?"

"Ash I think we should talk about this later maybe after"

"We talk about this tonight or I'm leaving and never coming back Ava I'm serious. I can't do this if I'm the only one wanting"

"You're not the only one Ashlee but I don't think it's the right time to get into this"

"You know what fine. Fuck this could you loan me some cash to take a taxi to the station please?"

Getting up from the bed and following the other girl into the guest room "Ashlee, Jeez". Seeing that the girl was serious about getting dressed she yelled "I slept with your mom!"

"fuckkkk"


	26. Chapter 26

The knowledge that her mother had sex with the woman she loved made her ill, literally and she immediately ran to the restroom to throw up. After brushing her teeth Ashlee insisted on a detailed description not of the actual events, she would still be heaving if she knew that, but of the circumstances that gave rise to the events. Sitting on edge of the tub with the lid of the toilet still up just in case Ashlee asked only one question "Is it over?" And once she was satisfied that yes she was now like the rest of Springfield, one step away from incest and no neither her mother nor Ava had any lingering feelings she put it way way way back in the corner of her mind. Someday her mother was going to pay big bucks for therapy if it ever resurfaced but that was at least twenty years off.

Ava could have been reading from a technical manual aloud based on how completely detached an clinical she was relaying the days she spent with Doris. Looking at Ashlee's grim and slightly green face Ava knew that it was over. She hates me and after she hears this I'll never see her again so she did as she was asked as fast as possible so she could run to her room and sink in misery. When she finally finished she half expected Ashlee to strike her. Ash wasn't violent or confrontational but when she had a bit of alcohol in her she could be a spitfire. The way she spoke to Jake was evidence that she wasn't the same meek girl Ava knew in Springfield.

After Ava told the story and answered Ashlee's single question she turned around went to her room looked through her purse and pulled out two twenties. "Here" and promptly returned to her room and shut the bedroom door to cry. Five hours later when she left the room intent on getting another bottle of wine and the last of the ice cream she was surprised to see the living room tv turned on. She thought she had turned it off. Bending over to grab the whip cream from the refrigerator she screamed and dropped the bottle of wine she was drinking out of when Ashlee asked what she wanted for breakfast. "You keep doing that when I talk to you. I'm going to develop a complex"

"You. You're still here?"

"Yeah and I'm starving. You're fridge is worst than my mom's. I guess I'm going to be the one who cooks in this relationship too" Stunned. "I used the forty dollars you gave me last night to pick up some actual food. I can't afford to eat out every weekend and you might as well use this to hold more than yogurt and wine" looking at the leaking bottle she sighed "that's going to be a bear to clean up if it gets behind the fridge"

Going over the last few weeks in her mind she could hardly believe how close she had come to having her other half for what. This was supposed their final moment of sanity, an island of calm in the hurricane filled ocean of Springfield. They were on their way to a last meal before they told everyone. They were going to eat, dance, kiss and then come back to her apartment and officially mark their union by making love. It was becoming harder and harder to come up with reasons to wait and Ashlee was becoming more adapt at convincing. Some nights Ava's body was shaking because of Ashlee's efforts to weaken her resolve. There were a few nights she had taken a couple of hours long cold showers to strengthen her resolve.

Two weekends ago Ashlee mumbled "Ava, you know that I love you right?" into Ava's ear as she molded her body onto Ava's and held her from behind and underneath the comforter on sofa. Ava had a friend who worked for a movie executive and the latest Twilight was currently playing. The official premier was still months away and both women loved the series but the tv was getting the same attention as the House budget sessions. Ashlee was determined that tonight was going to be the night if she had to tie Ava down and take it. Knowing Ava she might enjoy that.

Ava was naming each state and its capitol silently and picturing the naked wresting hotel scene in Borat and anything that would keep her mind off the wandering hands caressing her stomach and the lips that were softly sucking her ear. "I love you too Ash" She hoped that the other woman didn't notice the shaking in her voice or how it cracked at the end.

"If I love you and you love me then don't you think its time to express it with more than just words? It would be so beautiful Ava" Ashlee had tried everything she knew and even a few things she learned on the internet but nothing budged Ava. She was going to resort to the very old "If you don't I could die" and at this point it wasn't very far from the truth. When Ava turned around Ashlee did a mental happy dance. I'm going to get some, I'm going to get some.

"Ashlee I love you and I know you love me and it would mean so much to me if we could just wait. I know that I'm being difficult and you deserve so much better but"

At that point Ashlee stopped listening and mentally shouted SCREWWWWWW at the top of her silent voice. You are so lucky I love you Ava Peralta or I would kill you. Inside she was fuming at being rebuffed so shrewdly yet again but aloud she responded "I love you and you are exactly what I want and deserve and I will wait as long as you need baby." And she would because everything she said was the truth but that didn't mean that she was going to stop trying.

Ashlee reasoned that since she already knew about her and Doris there was no longer any reason to wait but respected Ava's decisions even though every Sunday night she returned to school so tense her body ached. The first night after the big reveal Ashlee was so confused she started walking aimlessly. She got so far that when it started raining she ran just so she wouldn't be soaked to the bone. It started a pattern of running for at least a mile or two so if nothing else Ava's refusals were getting her in better shape. For Ava she was holding out primarily because she feared that once Doris knew she would pressure Ashlee into ending things before they had really began. Her secret fear that Ashlee would chose her mother so at the last minute she decided the weekend before their trip home they would make love. Ava was determined to share just one perfect night before the end. Ashlee was just praising God that she was finally getting some. Tonight and every night from now on Ava would be in her bed regardless of who she shared one with before.

Walking down the street hand and hand they had not even seen the fucker that pulled Ashlee like she was some rag doll. He could have. No if Ava went down that road there would be no coming back. Instead Ava lay in her sterile bed with two new holes in her body focused on the biblical rage that their coupling had probably inspired from their mothers. An earthquake would be nothing compared to the damage Doris and Olivia were going to inflict on the hospital. Fuck me. Only I could have a life that could easily adapt into a soap opera. Doris was going to have a bitch fit about her and Ashlee which wouldn't help to patch up her and Olivia's problems. Doris would come down on Ashlee and destroy their already tenuous relationship. If Ashlee lost her mom because of me that sure isn't going to make what they had any easier. "It would have been better if that guy was a better shot"

"What the hell! Is that a joke? Please tell me you're joking because if you're not Ava!" Ava turned as much and as fast as she could considering the pain killers she was on but there was no mistaking the level off pissed off in Ashlee's voice. "What the hell did you mean Ava!?"

"Ashlee"

"NO I can't do this right now not after wondering for half the morning if you were dead or alive. Wondering what I could have done to prevent this!" and with that Ashlee turned and was down the hall. Looking up at her mom Olivia smiled and responded "I'll go get her honey don't worry."

"Ava how are you sweetheart?" Natalia softly said as she eased in the room. "We were so worried all of us. She's just upset but Olivia will let her know how difficult you guys can be when you're sick. If she's going to be a part of this family she might as well learn that now."

"I don't even know if she wants" Ava said shaking her head her eyes filled with tears.

"Oh she wants it Ava. Trust me my little girl is now tough as nails and its all because she wants this with you. I hardly recognize her. Hell now people won't wonder anymore if she's adopted."

"You're not. . .?"

"What mad? Surprised? Shocked? Well yeah I was all three I mean I'm not going to lie and say that I wouldn't have preferred that she and I would have only shared recipes or music lists but it's nothing out of the ordinary considering we all live in Springfield. I was hoping that she was transferring to Northwestern because she wanted to be closer to me but I'll take it anyway I can get it."

"Ashlee, Ashlee wait up a minute. You remember that I'm the woman who had a heart transplant will you take it easy on me?" That last bit worked and Ashlee stopped cold but wouldn't face her lover's mother. "Ash"

"How could she say that? How could she even joke about that? If she had died I would have…oh my God if she had died" Ashlee bent hiding her face in the cold walls of the hospital halls.

"Because when we are hurting sometimes we forget that the people who love us are hurting just as well Ashlee. Right after I got my new heart I was doing everything I could short of suicide to kill myself even though a few hours before I was praying for more time with the two people I loved most in the world."

"I can't do that Olivia. I can't sit there and listen to Ava wish she were dead" Ashlee said softly still not looking into Olivia's eyes because it was too much like Ava's and right now that was the face that hurt the most even more than the man who almost destroyed them all with the slight movement of his index finger. But she turned when she felt strong hands hold her from behind.

When Blake finally made it to the hospital she walked in to Ava's room and saw Doris sitting in on the foot of the bed stroking Ava's leg as they talked. Natalia was lying in a reclining chair as far back as possible nodding her head at whatever Ava and Doris were saying. Ava had pushed the bed up to a semi upright position but her face seemed tense even considering the pain killers Blake knew she must be on. Any inclination she had for sleep left soon after getting off the phone with Doris a little after one am. Instead of laying in bed worrying she packed her and Clarissa's bags, cleaned the house, and finished editing the final five chapters in her latest novel. As soon as she could considerately call Matt to arrange for her baby's stay after school she did. She fixed a huge breakfast and woke the girl. She couldn't decide what she wanted so she fixed all her favorites, pancakes, French toast and omelets. Clarissa looked like she wasn't sure if she were dreaming or not but she was eating as fast as possible just in case she woke up.

She lied and told her daughter that she had a surprise meeting in California but told her that she would call and check in as soon as she could.

"Hi"

"Blake, baby" Doris stood up moving towards the door pulling Blake inside the room with a quick but thorough kiss.

"Hey Blake"

"Hey babe" she whispered in Doris' ear before ending their hug. "Hey Natalia and how are you doing Ava?" Blake asked sitting on the other side of the bed across from Doris.

"Much better now that my Sunshine's back" Ava responded with a smile looking up at Ashlee and Olivia's face.


	27. Chapter 27

The five women stood, well Natalia was as close to flat on her back as the recliner would allow, around the bed laughing and talking about anything other than the event that brought them there in the first place. After Olivia brought Ashlee back to the room she began to harass her daughter about holding the surgery team hostage until she talked to Ashlee's doctor. "I would appreciate it if next time you'd stop bleeding before the interrogation began." To which Natalia responded that if there was a next time she was going to put both Emma and Ava in that moat surrounded castle well before Emma began puberty.

As the laughing slowly died down Ava began to realize just how terrifying the last six hours must have been for Ashlee. Her girlfriend had began yesterday wearing a beautiful blue blouse that matched her eyes and loose slacks and high heeled boots. Now she was wearing an extra large sweat shirt that still did not cover the blood that splattered on her pants. Her hair had been up but was now pulled haphazardly in a ponytail. There were dark circles under her eyes and her skin was more pale than Ava had ever seen it. Although Ashlee was undoubtedly more relaxed now that she knew Ava was going to be okay Ava noticed the slight tremors in her hands that she tried to hide by keeping them in motion. When Ava finally spotted the large black cloth and plastic brace covering Ashlee's right palm and wrist she had vivid flashback to how Ashlee had earned it. A sprained wrist and a badly bruised shoulder is what the doctor had said. Actually he had used words she didn't quite remember and couldn't understand but the nurse had translated for her when he turned away. Finding out that Ashlee was fine she'd submitted to the surgeon but after seeing her tear stained face, blood splattered clothing and the slight gash above her right eyebrow that the doctor neglected to mention it became undeniable how close Ava came to loosing Ashlee forever. Everyone was still laughing when tears began to stream down her face which she attempted to cover up with her hands .

"Ava? Baby? Are you alright?" Olivia asked trying to gently uncover her daughter's face.

Ava mumbled "I'm fine mom" but wouldn't move her hands.

"Ava are you in pain? Do you want me to get the doctor or the nurse?" Blake backed towards the door.

"I just" "I just" but she couldn't finish. When the man pulled on Ashlee's arm dragging her from Ava's arms and pulled out a small silver gun and put it to Ashlee's head time slowed to a crawl for Ava. It felt as if she were dreaming and kept expecting to wake up. Ashlee had not seen the gun yet Ava didn't think that she even realized what had happened because she just tried to snatch her arm back but never stopped talking about the restaurant they were walking towards. What she hated most was the fact she had no clue how to describe the man who did this to her but if someone would ask her to describe the gun he held she could in infinite detail. It wasn't until Ashlee attempted to pull her arm back the second time and seemed to realize that Ava was not responding did she look down to notice the hand on her forearm. Ava didn't think about what to do she just reacted. When Ashlee looked down at the hand Ava just pulled her away from him with all her might and turned Ashlee around so that she stood between Ashlee and the man. Screaming at Ashlee to runaway she wasn't sure when he shot her and never heard the gun fire. One moment she was screaming and the next her knees buckled and she was lying in the other woman's arms feeling white hot pain.

"I could have gotten you killed" Ava cried

"What?"

"You must hate me. He hurt you and I almost got you killed."

Ashlee was standing over Ava stroking and kissing the hands that covered Ava's face "You saved my life. He could have shot me. You saved me Ava" The four other woman stepped out to allow the younger couple a chance to calm. Both Olivia and Doris knew from experience that the last thing Ava wanted was to break down in front of a crowd. The tough bitchy exterior that she put on for the world was only relinquished for a special few but even in front of these four women that had become so close to her breaking down right now was unbearable. Giving up trying to get Ava to uncover her face Ashlee held her close and waited at least five minutes before the crying stopped and her breathing calmed. Leaning back to check that Ava was still awake she looked directly into the most beautiful warm brown eyes streaked with violent red slashes. "You okay now?"

Ava never broke down like this. The last time she had was when she'd had Max. Even after learning of Jeffrey's death her bouts of tears were broken up by laughter as she remembered something he had said or his expression while listening to one of her schemes. When her mother died she'd cried but had been so busy trying to figure out how to take care of herself and pay for the funeral expenses that she hadn't had time to feel anything more than shock. The overwhelming sense of dread and foreboding that she felt learning that her first born and much awaited son was Remy's was absent during those losses. But now that she could finally process what she had almost lost it was more than she could take in front of even her mother or Natalia much less Blake and Doris. "I think so but I don't know how to deal with this Ash. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you."

"Then I won't let anything happen" Ashlee responded attempting to make her voice more cheerful than she felt.

"What now?"

"Now you say goodbye to your visitors and you get some rest Ms Peralta" the nurse said as she walked in the room a few steps ahead of the other four women. "It's important that you get as much rest as possible to speed up the recovery process. You guys she's had a busy day and I know that you all are worried but she's going to be just fine. I'll give you five more minutes but you all are going to have to leave until tomorrow." Doris and Blake immediately turned to see how Ashlee and Olivia were going to take the news. Olivia wasn't known for her propensity of following rules especially when it came to her daughter and Ashlee was so tangled up with Ava only the difference in clothing clued them in on where one started and the other ended. Olivia's face was sporting a frown but before she could speak the nurse added on her way out the door "Two of you can spend the night with her. She should be released by tomorrow evening if she doesn't get an infection but the rest of you've gotta scoot." Now everyone was eyeing each other seeing who would be the lucky two.

"I don't care who stays but I think you should go home and get some rest Ash" Ava said in a rush "and before you rip my head off just listen. You were mugged, hurt and have spent over six hours here worried about me. A hot shower and sleep is just what you need." She was attempting to sway the other woman with the same smile she used so often in the past when was attempting get her father to agree with one of her wild plans.

Before Ashlee could mount a defense her mother joined the fray. "She's right Ashlee, you're going to need some pain killers tonight and the last thing you need to do is sleep in these chairs because you are going to be stiff enough just from your injuries." but she could see Ashlee wasn't convinced yet.

"I will stay with Olivia and"

"Oh hell no. You're eight months pregnant and have been under enough stress and strain as it is not to mention flying across the country and top that off with a night in a hospital chair? Oh no" Now Natalia and Ashlee were sporting the same stubborn scowl that said they were spoiling for a drawn out fight.

Hell . "I'll stay" and then everyone stopped and stared at Doris. "What?? Ashlee can't stay because she is hurt, Natalia is too pregnant and Blake is? Well I might as well stay." but after looking at the shocked expressions around the room she offered "unless you'd rather I didn't I mean"

"No that's perfect. Doris will stay and Blake you make sure that Ash and Natalia get some rest." It was easy to see that Olivia was used to being the boss as she ran off the list of expected choirs for Blake to complete to ensure that the other two women were as safe and comfortable as possible. When the nurse stopped back by to check Ava's vitals Doris and Olivia offered to walk the three woman down. As they stood by the car saying their goodbyes Doris took Blake aside to thank her for coming. "You didn't have to come out Blake but I am so glad that you did. I don't know if I could have dealt with everything if I had to do this alone." Everyone was inside the car and Doris was giving final instruction to the driver while Olivia walked away to check in on Emma and the Beacon.

When Olivia made her way back up to the room Ava was laying flat on her back with her head turned away from the door. The covers were pulled up around her shoulders and the edges of the sheets looked similarly to when she did her final check on Emma at night and she tucked her youngest in. Standing in the hallway looking in on her oldest she felt a familiar pain in her chest. It was the same ache she felt when she'd seen Ava laying in the hospital the day she'd tried to "help" by having her mugged. Since opening her heart to Ava Olivia had been blessed to spend many days and nights with her daughter. She knew that Ava stayed most of the night balled up on the left side of the mattress. She knew that Ava had a light snore and she even knew that Ava had the awful habit of clearing her sinuses upon waking but even after all these years the sight of her daughter vulnerable with sleep left her dazed. I could have lost her she thought but didn't realize she had spoken aloud until soft hand stroked up and down her arms and responded "She's a fighter Spencer. You should know that better than anyone just look at how she kept fighting with you."

"To get over you and her?" Olivia said turning around to face Doris and saw how quickly the color left the other woman's face. The hands that were attempting to rid her arms of chill bumps stilled their up and down movement and her best friend's head hung down. Doris took her hands away and stepped back from the room and further into the hallway.

"If you want me to" Doris started licking her lips trying to get a handle on the emotions threatening to break free. For the past three hours she had almost forgotten that there was a reason for Ava to defend her. Olivia had seemed to suddenly put the past two and a half months behind them but that was when she was worried about whether her daughter would live or die and now that she was assured that Ava would be well the cease fire was lifted it seemed. 'if you want me to I can spend the night in the waiting room. I just know that you didn't want Nat to be here in her condition and Ashlee shouldn't be here either."

"What the hell are you talking about? You want to leave?" Now Olivia was getting pissed. Her daughter was shot by some asshole, the doctors were inconsiderate dicks, and Doris was leaving? She had not had the opportunity to direct her rage at anyone but if Doris wanted to paint a bulls-eye. "Look here"

"I don't want to leave I thought you didn't want me here"

"How the hell did you come up with that? If I didn't want you here I would have said so. Do I strike you as someone afraid to speak up?" now her hands were on her hips and she was cocking her head to the side gearing up for a real bitch out.

"Jesus slow down" Doris said as non threatening as possible with her hand up in a rare show of submission. "I don't want to go. I want to stay for you and Ava. You're my best friend damn. I just thought maybe you were" shaking her head to clear her thoughts "I just thought"

"Doris I was pissed off at you. If I would have had a pistol it would have been very tempting to use it when I saw you kissing Ava at your front door. You were my best fucking friend and you had slept with my daughter I think I had a right to be pissed. I was more than pissed I was livid."

"Lucky thing your permit expired then uh?" Doris said with a bit of discomfort walking back into the room not looking forward to this talk although she had begged for it almost three months prior.

"But even while I was plotting your slow death I still thought of you as my best friend. There were days when someone at work would drive me crazy or Reva was being her usual self that I picked up the phone to call you so many times. So many times."

Not having the courage to look Olivia in the face Doris asked "If Ava hadn't gotten hurt would you have ever"

"Forgiven you?" the other woman finished? "Sooner or later yes. To be honest I was afraid that by the time I worked up the courage to talk to you you would no longer be interested in being friends."

Turning around now to look Olivia in the eyes "Spencer you are a complete and total stone cold bitch and a world class pain in the ass, of course I'd want you as a friend." She said without a trace of smile but cracked when a ghost of a grin floated to Olivia's face.

"Takes one to know one" Olivia supplied with laughter.

"Ladies" the nurse huffed looking affronted from the doorway.

"Sorry" both chorused without any remorse.


	28. Chapter 28

They were sitting laying in bed underneath a thousand blankets and comforters and surrounded by half eaten ice cream cartons and a corked half empty wine bottle. The Up Side of Anger was on the tv and Norah Jones was streaming from the pc. On the floor there were empty pizza and Chinese take out boxes. Earlier in the day Ava had finally convinced Ashlee to let her treat them to Wicked but the girl would only attend a matinee and insisted on paying for their meal although it would put a serious dent in her finances for the up coming week. "Ash I'm an executive at a big finance firm. I have an expense account and I got an inheritance from my dad. I can afford to pay for a show and dinner. Hell I can even pop for a nighttime show." But tonight wasn't the first time that they had this discussion and Ashlee didn't think it would be the last so instead of responding she burrowed further into the covers and pulled Ava with her. Undeterred Ava continued "Olivia's richer than God. You aren't working and depend on an allowance from your mom every two weeks."

Ava thought that pride kept Ashlee from accepting gifts from her and in part she right. Ashlee never wanted Ava to think that she was with her for anything other than love but it wasn't the real reason she kept insisting on going half on everything even though she sometimes she had to survive on little more than Hamburger Helper, without the hamburger by the end of the second week. The bigger reason was that she wanted to ensure that Ava never saw her as anything other than an adult capable of being her equal in everyway. She never wanted Ava to see her as kid playing at being a grown up and although she was only five years younger than Ava she felt terribly self conscious about her lack of experience and maturity. Ava had been taking care of herself since her adopted mother died leaving her alone at eighteen. Compared to Ava Ashlee was still a child. One day once they were living together and she was more secure in Ava's opinion of her she would let Ava foot a bigger portion of the bill but for now Ashlee was going to shoulder her part, besides the running and the diet were doing wonders for her figure. Resolving to distract her girlfriend Ashlee kissed the back of Ava's head, rubbed her hand over the lowest part of her stomach and murmured softly in her ear "Baby can we make love now?"

"Um if you're sure but I don't know how your mom and Ava are going to take it"

Ashlee whipped her head up so fast Natalia was worried that she might have sprained something and to say that she was embarrassed was the least of it. She thought that the girl had blushed hard when they were teasing her in the waiting room now her face was taking on a purplish hue and Blake's laughter didn't help. Taking pity on Ashlee Natalia asked Blake which hotel the driver was taking her to because she and Olivia had not taken the time to find one. Still laughing Blake took out her phone to listen to Doris' message because she'd forgotten.

"You guys could stay at Ava's if you wanted, she has enough room and to be honest I don't feel like being alone even if that means I have more torture to look forward to" Ashlee said with a scowl directed at her mother's girlfriend. The driver changed directions and headed to Ava's condo while Blake and Natalia called their respective girlfriends and informed them of the change in plans. Her hand and shoulder were throbbing with pain. She already filled her prescription but it warned that it shouldn't be taken on an empty stomach and the pain and stress of the day already had her stomach uneasy. Closing her eyes she heard Blake asking Doris if their relationship could stand Ashlee's proposition and the barely contained guffaw that followed her mother's response. Jiminy Cricket, as if she needed anything else to be teased over.

After opening the door Ashlee went straight to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water and the more than slightly stale brick hard half loaf of French break on the counter. It was the first thing she saw and more than anything she just wanted to eat, take her medicine, bathe, and put an end to the day. She assumed that the two women would find their way around the place sooner or later. They were still standing by the now closed door front door. On her way to Ava's room she used the hand holding the bread to circle in the air dropping crumbs along the way as a gesture of welcome. Whether they realized the meaning Ashlee didn't bother thinking through as she walked past them without stopping.

"I'm assuming that was sign language for make yourself at home?" Blake said looking at Natalia with a slight smirk. Half and hour later after trying to decipher half of what Clarissa was excitedly talking about, peeking in on a deeply asleep Ashlee, and calling Doris to check on Ava's condition Blake made her way to the kitchen to eyeball a very pregnant Natalia. "You haven't gone in to labor right? Olivia would kill me"

"Sometimes I feel so bloated and uncomfortable I consider reaching in and yanking her out just to get it over with but no she's still very much onboard."

"You try being pregnant with twins in the middle of the summer and tell me who had it worst."

Natalia was standing in front of the refrigerator pleasantly surprised by her step-daughter's domestic abilities. When she opened it she expected to find bottles of different alcohols, assorted condiments, and maybe a half dozen take out containers but Olivia's lack of nutrition concern wasn't a genetic trait and there was hope for Emma yet. There were in date dairy products, fresh vegetables, ripe fruits and even two miraculous ware containers of leftover rice and meat. "Wow I never expected Ava to have food." she said with shock.

"I wouldn't get my hopes up Ashlee probably grocery shops for her. You want to see a scary fridge you should have seen Doris' before we started dating. If it broke down completely I'm not sure she would have ever noticed."

Laughing Natalia turned toward and fixed her with a level stare. "So you and Doris?"

"Yeah Doris and I" Blake said trying unsuccessfully to appear her unflappable self. "We work. I'm the last person to try and explain it but she loves me and adores Clarissa. So yeah me and Doris" she supplied the blush fading only slightly.

"She's been looking really relaxed lately whenever I did see her. Listen I'm so sorry about everything that happened after Ava and"

Not wanting to talk about that situation anymore than necessary Blake interrupted "it's over now. Doris and Olivia have made up. Lets just put it behind us, okay?"

"I missed you Blake" Natalia said shyly. "Besides Olivia you're my best friend. It felt like I had to chose sides but I hope you can forgive me for not" Without thinking Blake wrapped the other woman in a hug as they both remembered the stress of the past two months.

Natalia was asleep in the guest bedroom and Blake was in the living room typing some suggestions for the newest author in her company. She spent another hour talking to Clarissa about the infamous Todd Williams. Todd was a cute little boy who delighted in tormenting her daughter since he started at the school three years ago. The teachers and his parents routinely chastised him but he continued to be a pain who lightly tugged on Clarissa's hair whenever he was near. Clarissa wasn't scared of him but she found him annoying. He didn't do it hard and the grown ups found it hard to stay mad at him when every year he gave Clarissa the biggest Valentine and always loaned her his best art supplies. Today however he did it during recess while Emma's class was also outdoors. The youngest Spencer walked right up to Todd and told him if he did it again she would tell her brother who was an army soldier. Todd didn't look sufficiently impressed so Emma mindful that no teachers were around shoved him hard to the ground and warned that next time he'd get worse. Of course Clarissa now thought Emma hung stars not that she wasn't smitten by the younger girl before this brawl. Blake silently thought to herself that she would do well to watch young Miss Emma Spencer Spaulding. Jesus couldn't the Spencer Mojo kick in when they were both at least in high school, hell middle school even. If she knew his family better she'd kindly suggest they steer him towards a new girlfriend because her baby was obviously taken. Poor kid.

Just as she was about send the email Blake heard a slight cry. Opening the guest room quietly as she could she saw Natalia spread out across the bed still in her shoes. Making her way inside to gently slip the shoes off she heard the cry again but only louder. With a final glance at her best friend Blake moved to the master bedroom. Ashlee was thrashing on the bed tangled in the sheets with the pillows and comforter lying discarded on the floor. Blake could see the veins boldly pulsating in her neck and forehead and she was laying on top of her injured hand. "Ashlee" she said holding the girl by the shoulders trying to roll the brace free. "Ashlee" she said a bit louder this time when it was clear that Ashlee was still in the grips of a terrible nightmare. "Ash!" She held her hand to her heart when Ashlee sprang up in bed eyes wide open breathing deeply. "Jesus"

"Ava? Ava?" Ashlee said looking around working herself up when the older woman was no where in sight. "AVAH!"

"Ash! Ash settle down you're going to wake Nat! Ash?" Blake shushed moving away to close the bedroom door but before she could get a even a foot away Ashlee had grabbed her hand tightly holding it over her racing heart.

"Don't leave me, please."

Ashlee was a twenty year old adult woman but at that moment she was wearing the same expression Clarissa had after waking up in the middle of the night from a frightful dream. "I'm not going anywhere I promise. I'm just going to close the bedroom door so we don't wake Natalia. I'll be right back"

"You promise?"

Looking into the girl's eye Blake knew now exactly how Natalia must have felt when she realized Ava and Doris had sex. No Ashlee wasn't her child and she wasn't even a child but she was her lover's baby so she was her baby as well and Blake would do whatever it took to protect her. Shit on a stick. "I promise" and after she shut the door but not all the way of course "could you leave it open a crack please?" Blake climbed in bed behind Ashlee and lay on her non injured side stroking her hair until Ashlee fell asleep.

The next morning the door was shut and her cell phone was laying on the table next to her side of the bed. Ashlee was still asleep but was now balled up on the opposite side making the same soft noises that Doris made when she was sleeping. She had missed two calls from Doris and another from a client. After brushing her teeth she looked in on the girl again but she was still knocked out. There were two pills on the table next to Ashlee and a half filled glass of water and a bagel that had not been there when Blake went into the restroom. Walking into the hallway she was assaulted by the most wonderful smells and she remembered she had not eaten much since her arrival in California. "If I weren't already in love with Doris I'd steal you from Olivia" Blake said as she slid behind a plate of pancakes eggs and bacon. She vaguely heard Natalia respond but her focus was on the food in front of her.

"I talked to Doris and Olivia before I started cooking and everything looks good with Ava and we should all be back in Springfield by tonight. Philip said that we only had to call before hand to use the jet. I told Doris that you all were still asleep and doing well. A detective called and asked that we bring Ash by before we left town to make another statement. Emma and Clarissa are eloping to Vegas next week"

It was only after Blake had eaten all her food and drank half her coffee that she said "What??!"


	29. Chapter 29

"Ashlee!!"

There was only one recliner to a room and Doris graciously took the first shift watching over Ava so that Olivia could lie in it and finally relax. Fighting to hold down the laughter after Nurse Ratchett left Olivia walked over to Ava's side and as she stroked her daughter's hair tears began to flow. Now that Ava was lying still and hardly moving other than the slight dips her chest made Olivia's mind began to imagine and wonder what if. What if the bullet had move this way or that? What if she'd been alone? What if this time unlike the other times when she saw her daughter lying prone in a hospital bed she would not be okay. What if?

"She's fine Olivia. Your baby is fine and she's coming home with us in a couple of hours." Doris said still standing near the door giving her best friend space and time to reign in her emotions. "She'd better be fine or Ashlee's going to kill her."

"She's not the sweet one anymore uh?" Olivia joked with her eyes still glassy and her cheeks still wet.

"Who knew all it took to toughen her up was to start dating a Spencer? I would have suggested it years ago" Doris said easing deeper into the room. Physically exhausted and emotionally drained Olivia stumbled backwards on to the recliner on her way to the restroom to wash her face. "Hey why don't you just lay down and take a nap" wrapping Olivia in the extra blanket from the bed Doris pulled up the footrest and effectively shut down any chance of escape. Then barked "rest" in the same tone she directed towards the chief of police. That was over three hours ago. The phone just rang when she tried to call Blake and she wasn't in much mood to speak to her deputy so she sat beside the bed of the women who'd taught her about friendship.

"Ashlee"

Dozing but after hearing someone cry her daughter's name Doris bolted upright disoriented. "Wha?" looking to the right Olivia was still sleeping but Ava was shifting in bed trying her best to get out. "Are you completely insane? You've just been shot if you'd forgotten." she hissed from her chair fighting not to fall back asleep. "You've just been shot and if you hurt something and can't go home tomorrow Ashlee and Olivia will have my head so settle down." Doris could have easily been talking to a brick wall as far reaction went because Ava said nothing and didn't acknowledge that Doris had even spoken. It wasn't until Ava sat up and started to finger the tape holding down the needle in her arm that Doris rushed to her side and forced Ava's head up to her own. "Ava?"

"Where is she? I have to make sure she's fine" Ava responded without her eyes ever becoming focused or alert but now her feet swung out to touch the floor. "Ashlee?"

"Ava, Ash is fine she's at your house with Blake and Natalia. They'll be back later. She's fine Ava" But the slight string of drool forming on the side of Ava's mouth made Doris suspect that she was wasting her breathe so she just pushed Ava back down and moved her feet back underneath the covers.

Once Ava was again cocooned in down and cotton she gave one more hallow attempt to push up and whispered "Ash" before turning her head and falling asleep.

This beautiful young woman had almost cost her a best friend, complicated her already precarious relationship with her daughter, but she had also held her close when no else would, and encouraged her when she needed it most. Ava was the woman who risked her life to save her daughter and if none of the other things had occurred that fact alone bonded them to each other for life. "Ava she's okay. She's fine thanks to you. I promise." After checking on Ava after returning from trying Blake once again she heard Ava crying softly. Realizing that Ava was sleeping she looked to Olivia but found no help at that end because she was near comatose. Fuck me. "Ava?" Stroking her fingers through short sweaty hair she remembered nights long ago when she'd done this same thing for Ashlee years ago. Might as well, damn just so she won't wake up or disturb Olivia Doris reasoned as she carefully climbed beside Ava singing softly the song she used to chase Ashlee's tears away "blue jean baby, LA Lady seamstress for the band. Pretty eyed pirate smile you'll marry a music man" When she got to the chorus like Ashlee before her Ava was asleep and completely relaxed but like then Doris continued singing. "oh how it feels so real lying here with no one near only you and you can hear me as I say softly slowly" and from the right side of the room she heard "hold me closer tiny dancer count the headlights on the highway lay me down in sheets of linen" and looked up into Olivia's watery smile and added "you had a busy day today" Before she dozed off they sang two more Elton John songs and one Cat Stevens.

It was almost three am and twenty four hours ago at this time Olivia didn't yet know if she was still the mother of two almost three daughters. She didn't know if she would have to say goodbye to one more person she loved and she didn't know if this final loss would claim her as well. As a young child she lost her father and as a teenager she'd lost her mother and as a very young adult she lost her baby sister. Olivia had not held Ava after giving birth and once the nurse took her out of the delivery room Olivia pushed the child's existence out of her mind. It had never occurred and even when she was busy preparing for Emma's birth the first one never impinged on her conscious. But now after trading places with Doris and holding Ava stroking back the damp hair and breathing in her slightly sweaty slightly citrus slightly spicy scent Olivia could almost imagine what it would have felt like to hold her all those years ago. "if you're lost you can look and you will find me time after time. If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting time after time"

"My momma, Catherine used to sing Van Morrison to me when I was sick. I got so upset when I realized that she hadn't written Brown Eyed Girl especially for me and that other people knew the song. I was sad for a week" Ava softly laughed. Olivia and she never really talked about her momma other than if she had a happy childhood. Ava didn't know if Olivia didn't think she had the right to ask or if she felt it would be too painful. At times it was confusing because for eighteen years Catherine Peralta had loved and cared for her and had been her mother. If she had never gone to Springfield she doubted that Olivia would have ever sought her out. There were still times Ava went to the phone to share something that she knew would make Catherine laugh or vent after a hard day and it still left her blind with tears once she realized again that her momma was gone. What if she'd never died Ava wondered.

"What else did she do when you were sick?" Olivia asked tentatively not knowing if now was the right time to delve into the life her child had with another woman. A woman who loved and provided for her child because she refused. What would her mother feel about her and Ava reconciling because she knew if the position were reversed it would kill her.

Ava laughed softly and looked up "She'd let me eat junk. She was a health nut but when I was sick she let me have kool aide and even pudding cups but only after if I took my medicine without crying"

"Your mom and Natalia would have gotten along just fine then" Olivia said while rolling her eyes.

"Yeah I think they would have spent all day comparing recipes and she would have loved the farm"

With what she hoped was a level voice Olivia asked the one question she'd wanted to ask since she'd realized how happy her daughter's life had been without her. Ava had not spent years wondering what her birth mother looked like or what she was like. Ava's mom had loved her so absolutely that she'd never felt anything other than Ms Peralta's child. "What would she have thought of me?" Ava backed away from her and looked her into Olivia's eyes. She hadn't responded and Olivia knew her child well enough now to know that she it wasn't because she sitting back considering Olivia's feelings. Ava like herself often didn't edit. "It's okay you don't have to answer that."

"She would have, she would have probably never spoken to you." Well she'd asked the question. "I mean my momma was a lot like Natalia. She was constantly telling me to think more about what I said and to try to be nicer. I can't tell you how many time she'd nudge me when I was talking to people. It got so bad I'd step out of elbow room when we were near someone I didn't like cause I knew she wouldn't make a scene and I wouldn't bite my tongue."

"So I'm guessing it's genetic. Natalia's going to have so much fun with Emma" Olivia responded trying to lighten the conversation.

Ava continued as if Olivia never spoke "sometimes people would say mean things because we were poorer or she couldn't be at all my events because of work but I never let anyone bad mouth her around me. She didn't want to be a bad influence but I could tell that half the time she wasn't mad at all but she didn't think it was proper. She just didn't want to encourage me"

"Like you need it anyway"

"I miss my momma more than I could tell you. Sometimes I lie in bed remembering everything and I wish she were here." Of course she knew that she'd never replace Ms Peralta. The woman spent eighteen years loving a child and their four years most of them filled with anger and tension would never erase that. Catherine Peralta taught Ava how to read and told her about Santa Claus and Catherine Peralta was the woman Ava had always pictured as her children's grandmother. I have her now and it's more than I deserve. "so I could tell her all about you. So you and Natalia and Emma could be a part of our family."

Once Olivia regained her voice and murmured a hundred kisses and soft I love yous she started "sha la la la la la la sha la la la la I hear a song that makes me think of a girl I used to know"


	30. Chapter 30

A dull throbbing ache pulled Ashlee up from sleep as she turned around she half expected to wake up in her damp, cramped, poorly lit dorm room back on campus. She'd had an awful dream tangled with pictures of bloodstains and compact silver pistols. Sleep had been anything but restful because every few minutes once she realized she was dreaming and tried to wake up she would find herself in another terrifying situation but the theme never changed, flowing blood and shiny guns. Ashlee rarely had bad dreams but in the two months that she'd been sleeping with Ava she'd never had one in the older woman's bed. But even as disoriented as she was she knew there was no way she was at her subsidized hovel. Her mattress simply didn't compare major dough was spent on this bad boy. Turning around she realized that one she was on the wrong side and two Ava was missing. Ava never woke before she did. If it were up to Ava she would never leave the bed before noon especially on a Sunday her last day of the week to sleep in. Sitting up in the bed she accidentally bore down on her injured hand and fell back down on her bruised shoulder and the flooding pain brought the previous day's baggage forward. Oh Goodness Ava. Her stomach immediately began to roll. Oh God please don't let me throw up Ashlee chanted for the next minute. Ignoring pills she hoped were pain medication on the table next to her was not an option if she wanted to figure out what was going on and she spend the few minutes trying to ease the cold bread and the warm water to her stomach. Blake knocked once and then again but after not getting a response gently pushed the door open "You up?"

"More or less"

Coming to Ashlee's side Blake held her steady as they walked to the restroom. Helping her use the toilet and brush her teeth they didn't speak and avoid each other's eyes in the mirror. They could not be called friends even in the loosest sense and were probably the last person either would expect to be in this situation with but it was necessary and Blake was not going to ask heavily pregnant Natalia to care for her lover's daughter. As she undressed Ashlee as gently as possible she saw the still bright red streaks spread with each layer removed. The extra large sweatshirt hid the hand shaped reddish purple blushes on her forearm and the five crescent shaped cuts just above the inside of her elbow. Stepping back she tried to work out mentally the best way to remove the bra but just decided that cutting it off was easiest. Ashlee hadn't said anything throughout even though Blake was sure she was in moderate pain. Her body was tight under Blake's hands and when she stood back she could see a light sheen of sweat on her forehead and upper lips. There were several red hot scrape marks on the top of the right shoulder near the edge of the arm. A sunset was developing across Ashlee's chest but the girl had not looked down once to inspect the damage the offender wrecked on her body. It wasn't until Blake made Ashlee stand and pulled down the boxers Ashlee put on before climbing into bed yesterday that Blake had any idea how traumatic the previous day was. Ashlee's panties and skin on her stomach and upper thighs were covered in dark dried blood. Blood was somewhat wiped away from her chest by the doctors during their examinations but no one had bothered to clean her waist.

Once Ashlee was in the warm tub and relaxing Blake wasn't very sure what to do. She was about to back out when she heard a cleared throat. "Do you need anything else Ash?" This would be awkward in the best of times but she was the girl's mother's lover. Yeah so it sucked all the way round. "I'm just going to step out for about ten"

"Could you. Could you stay please with me?"

Worried that Ashlee's injury was causing her pain or stopping her from cleaning herself Blake jumped in to offer "I can bathe you if you need Ash its no problem"

"No. I just"

And Blake saw again the bright blush Ashlee sported in the car when she'd teased her. Lowering her voice she stepped closer to the girl but held her head down wondering if she had embarrassed the girl. "You don't have to be embarrassed Ash if you need help its no bother I promise."

"No I can bathe myself. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind staying in here with me." If it were even possible Ashlee's skin turned almost purple. "I don't want to be alone. If you're tired or something I understand I can"

"Did I tell you about Clarissa teaching your mom how to play Guitar Hero?"

"No freaking way?!"

Blake spent the next fifteen minutes regaling Ashlee with stories of a video game addicted Doris Wolfe. "I'm going to get her a Wii for Christmas."

Blake and Natalia sat on either side of Ashlee and held her hands as she was interviewed by the detectives and at this point Blake was more interested in getting Ashlee back to Springfield than in subjecting her to the violation by repeating it over and over to each cop with an additional question. If they ever found the bastard she was sure both Olivia and Doris would make sure he never saw the light of day one way or the other but right now Ashlee needed to be safe and subjected to the prying eyes of the San Francisco police department wasn't making that happen. When the tall red headed man asked for the third time since entering the room to take him through the events one more time Blake had it. Fuck this. "We're leaving. You all have anymore questions use the number we provided otherwise she needs to get out of here and back to her family." When he tried to use his height and voice to intimidate her she plowed right ahead "she's been through enough and she doesn't need to take you through it again. You have a recorder why don't you use it." and with that she steered Natalia and Ashlee back towards the waiting car. "Thank you" she heard whispered when they finally got settled in the car but it was so soft that she couldn't tell whether Ashlee or Natalia said it. Looking back at the two both were looking at her shyly smiling with tears flowing and smiling back she thought being a bitch comes in handy sometimes.

Ashlee was lightly snoring by the time they made it to the entrance of the hospital but once she recognized where they were she immediately sobered up and began using her long legs put considerable distance between her and the other woman, both shorter and one waddling. The other two just let her power walk. They would get there sooner or later and if the position was reversed they would be doing the same. Noticing that they Blake and Natalia weren't on the elevator with her Ashlee got out and waited by the door but once they left the box she was back high stepping. When they rounded the corner passing the cafeteria she heard a whistle and a shouted "where's the fire?" Blake and Natalia had run into their partners by the double doors. "I believe the doctor told you to take it easy if I recall?" Her mother started.

"I seem the remember the same thing" Olivia teased. "She's fine Ashlee they kicked us out of the room to check on the bandages and give her a bath. You can take your time."

"I don't want anyone giving her a bath" Ashlee fumed color again coming to her face but this time primarily the tops of her ears.

"Oh God. Her ears got that way the time she socked Mary Beam for stealing her boyfriend in kindergarten" Doris said as she got closer causing the other three woman to promptly burst out laughing.

"You all just remember this teasing when you want babysitters for Clarissa, Emma and Francesca. Each time you laugh I'm doubling my price so I hope you're enjoying yourselves" That damped down the chuckling a bit.

Notwithstanding the threat they did manage to slow Ashlee down a bit more when Doris wanted a complete account of the night before. She and Olivia had already decided to check into finding a reputable source to keep informed of the case. Just because their main priority was the welfare of their children didn't mean they were giving the department a free pass. They better find who ever did this or Ashlee and Ava wouldn't be the last ones in pain behind this case. Ashlee even took pity on Natalia's slow unsteady amble and snagged a free wheel chair and they all walked together to find Ava's room opened slightly but a tall man was still inside. Not wanting to intrude they stood just outside the door whispering not wanted to disturb the two especially if it was the doctor but when Ashlee heard that voice and that dumbass nickname she huffed aloud and threw open the door as dignified as possible. They were in a hospital jeez.

"A. babe are you sure you're" but JB didn't get to finish the sentence before he turned and saw his worst nightmare standing on the other side of the door. Dickhead.

"Hey guys come in" Ava said with cheer as if it were a church social and not high noon at the OK Corral. "Mom Natalia I'd like you to meet my former supervisor Jackson Steel. And Jackson this is Doris Wolfe and Blake Mahler both friends of my family." Only shock and the lingering affects of strong narcotics kept Ashlee's hands from his face but they didn't ease up her facial expressions. The four woman in the room each mentally said uh oh JB. "And you know my girlfriend Ashlee Wolfe. Ms Wolfe is her mom and also the mayor of Springfield." Jake directed a megawatt dazzling smile at each of the women in turn and held their hands warmly as if they were close personal friends but to Ashlee he only nodded, narrowed his eyes and turned back to Ava. "So A I guess we weren't as close as I thought we were uh?"


	31. Chapter 31

Waking up in her mom's arms was the last place she expected to find herself. After all the weeks of planning and negotiations Ava and Ashlee decided Thursday they would spend their time together Saturday morning determining if they would make love that night. More realistically Ashlee had laid siege on Ava's fears and Ava had finally relented to seeing how the weekend went before deciding. Next week Ava was going back to Springfield to help her mother work on a project too involved for Olivia to handle on her own considering Natalia could give birth at any moment and once that was finalized Ava would fly back to supervise her final exodus. While Ava was working with her mother Ashlee would make a "surprise" visit to her own home and ease on her mother the fact that they shared a common lover. Since they bought the tickets home Ava's stomach had been in knots. She was sure that in a few short days the direction of her life would be in the hands of an ex lover who might be angry and resentful. Ashlee was no less tense but she had walked away from her mother once before and although she would hate to do so now after they'd truly started to connect but for Ava she would endure any sacrifice. The first weekend that Ashlee shared with Ava she'd decided to transfer to Northwestern. They had not kissed yet and she had not even imagined what it would mean to love this former rival but her heart knew as it knew its own habitual rhythms that her life was tied to the older woman's. Ava told her on that first Sunday drive to the station that she was moving back to her mothers in eight weeks and when Ashlee reached her room she'd researched the school's transfer policy.

Thursday Ashlee spent the night on the phone trying to reassure the normally brimming with confidence even arrogant Ava that they were ready for the next step. To tell the truth she was past ready. Hell one look at Ava and a blind man would be ready, she was Ava. The situation might have been funny if she had not spent the last four weeks trying to figure out what would prove to Ava she'd never regret their union. Ashlee knew that Ava had not always thought through her couplings. It happened for fun? Excitement? Convenience at the moment and the moment was all that lasted in the end. Ashlee knew that Ava worried if they had sex what they shared would be reduced to every other encounter. But Ashlee was not everyone else and Ava was not a momentary pleasure. For Ashlee Ava was a lifetime pursuit so if Ashlee had to reassuring Ava she would spend a millennium doing so .

Ava had a late final meeting but picked Ashlee up at the station twenty minutes after the girl arrived. Like every other weekend Ashlee immediately got behind the wheel allowing Ava to relax after sitting through rush hour traffic. They texted, emailed, phoned, even web cammed for hours during the week but the first nights they spent together after five days apart were silent. Immediately after walking into the apartment Ava stripped and stood under a scorching spray for an hour until she became faint from the steam and heat. Ashlee went to the kitchen pulling out the ingredients for their meal. Ava survived on yogurt, trail mix, and wine during the week but each weekend Ashlee made her a different and interesting home cooked meal, shrimp and salmon fettuccini, lamb and roast potatoes anything she saw interesting on tv or in magazines. Others lovers could shower Ava with expensive gifts or lay the world at her feet but Ashlee would quietly care and gently cherish her. They ate their meals silently and after she washed and Ava dried they met in Ava's darkened bedroom. Ava was usually halfway asleep but tried to wait until Ashlee came to bed but whether she was nodding off or softly snoring by the time Ashlee was herself asleep Ava was wrapped tightly around her.

Dinner would be at an expensive restaurant that Ava paid for, dancing at a upscale night club, and afterwards hours making love were what they planned that Saturday morning. Normally they stayed close to the Bay Area limiting themselves to enjoying the scenery or attending a free function in respect of Ashlee's limited funds but that day they woke up early to start work they usually held off until late Sunday night after Ashlee returned from school. Saturday night and all Sunday they would be together and Ashlee would take the train back to school early Monday morning. They would spend the weekend imprinting their needs into the other's skins. Waking up in her mother's arms the night after she should have spent making love to Ashlee Ava listened to her mother's heart imagining what could have been. A new nurse asked her mom and Doris to leave so she could change her bandages and bathe her. Slightly dizzy from exertion she didn't react to the slight knocking she heard once the nurse left.

"Avie, baby?"

Shocked she looked up to see Jake standing in her doorway holding a bouquet of wildflowers his olive complexion paler than usual. "Jake what are you doing here?"

"You're in the fucking hospital A you were fucking shot of course I'm going to be here. Jesus." His voice was strong but the flowers trembled. Jackson Steel was a bit over six feet three one hundred ninety five pounds of chiseled flesh. His eyes were deep clear blue and his hair resembled raw honey. Jake could easily be confused with the legions of models and actors that roamed California and he always dressed like a Brooks Brothers representative. In almost two years that she'd worked with him late hours and harried meeting included he never appeared less than impeccably dressed. But today his eyes were bloodshot and it looked as if he had slept in his suit. "You okay A.?" he whispered and she saw that his eyes were not only worn but slightly wet.

Reaching out to him with her arms held up and open she whispered "Jake I'm fine honest."

Once she held up her arms he stumbled into them and leaned on the bed. "Baby I thought. I didn't know what to think"

Ava knew that Jake wasn't a bad person he was just a cheating whore of a husband but she was completely unprepared for his reaction to her tragedy. They worked well together and anticipated each others needs both in and out of bed. He was her first friend and the only close one in the two years she spent in the city but she hadn't thought he would be as affected once informed that she was shot. A week before she flying home the first time they ended their relationship and he knew that she was eventually leaving the state for good. They slept together for four months and she didn't think their break was a huge disappointment for him. If anything it was an opportunity to oversee the account alone but seeing him holding her favorite flowers and looking unkempt and torn she again remembered what made her care for the man in the first place. He was a good friend who made her feel as if she were the only person in the room when they talked. Jake noticed what she snack she wanted when in a bad mood, he knew her favorite movie, and taught her the intricacies of NHL hockey. He could make her laugh even after brutal meetings and crushing rejections "I'm fine J I promise"

"Ava, Ava Ava" he whispered sitting beside her on the bed holding her close and they reflected on the path that led them to each other. By the time the door floated open they had separated an Jake only held one hand tight in his own. Both looking up sharply she saw the tight expression on Ashlee's face and the shocked one on everyone else's. As he stood up continued to hold tight her hand. She couldn't read Ashlee's expression during the introductions but her mother and Doris and Blake were holding back smirks but Natalia's looked close to genuine. And while their comments worried her Ashlee's non reaction was starting to scare her. Trying to catch the other girls eyes Ashlee looked straight through her. Oh God Ash you can't be mad about this can you?

"So this is the woman that's stealing the rising star of Howe and Howe?"

"Sorry but I miss having my daughter close. Its just lucky she happens to be an excellent employee "

Natalia added with a laugh "Yeah we are going to need a babysitter soon"

"You're right Ms Spencer your daughter is one of the best but as far as babysitting?" he looked back to Ava and shrugged. "When we first paired up I asked her to look after the cactus in my office when I went on vacation so for your sake I hope that she's a better big sister than she is a gardener Ms Rivera. You've been holding out on me Ava. I thought we were friends. You didn't tell me you know Ms Blake Mahler the best romance author around, well as far as my wife and her friends are concerned."

"Really your wife's a fan?"

"Huge. I hope you don't mind but she would kill me if didn't at least ask for a autograph. Mayor Wolfe I just have to ask is it all you hoped it would be when you first ran?" Jake spent the next fifteen minutes attempting to charm Olivia, Natalia, Blake, and Doris. Ashlee he ignored except for the occasional quick glance and he kept Ava's hand tight. From the way he worked the room one would have never guessed that he was anything other than a supportive friend and mentoring supervisor aside from the hand holding that is. Ashlee stayed silent and near the door with her eyes fixed on the joined hands of her girlfriend and Jake. When Ava tried to gently and discretely withdraw cupped it and kissed the back and Ashlee's eyes went from steely to hawkish and there was a decided lowering of her brow. The conversation among he, Doris and Olivia on the national deficit stopped cold with the kiss but he never missed a beat. He had not made it to the top of by being timid. The moment his lips touched Ava's skin Ashlee's skin flushed bright red and her ears appeared on fire and she stepped finally forward but before she opened her mouth he dropped Ava's hands stepped away and addressed the elephant in the room. "Try and keep her out of trouble Ashlee it's a thankless job I know but someone has to."

Ashlee said as she sat on the side of Ava's bed to face Jake since he had never turned towards her "for the rest of my life"

Bending over Ava he took her in his arms and whispered something into her hair and they both silently laughed when as she responded. Kissing the top of her head he tried to make peace with the choices made and shook each woman's hand again and said goodbye and again he did not bother including Ashlee. Facing Ava one last time he replied "Ava I know you're looking forward to your new life but I hope you won't forget all about the life you made here. I hope that you won't forget me" and as he walked out the door he wasn't surprised to find Ashlee falling in step behind him. "Was there something you needed Ms Wolfe?" he asked just outside Ava's door. Ashlee didn't respond and continued to walk until she stopped near the elevator. With a pointed look she signaled him to follow indicating she rather it not be overheard. Stopping exactly one step in front of her they could have been mistaken for lovers because of how intimate the distance was. "Yes?"

"Whatever you think you had with Ava's over. You can pretend that I took her away but you never had her. If you had loved her you wouldn't be going home to your wife."

"You don't know anything about what Ava and I have. She's hurt right now and she's lashing out. She's going to come to her senses about this because there's no way you could ever keep her satisfied and once she does I'll be right there."

Ava had known that Jake's competitive nature wouldn't pass up any opportunity to slight the person he viewed as his rival for her affections but when he looked at her and asked her not to forget him and what they shared she could not help but be affected. True he could be an ass but he was also warm and kind and regardless of what occurred he was a friend. On their final hug he made mention of their first inside joke one that never failed to make her laugh. After sitting at the desk for hours pouring over spreadsheets he would say the codename for a hated senior supervisor and their shared laugh would momentarily lessen the stress and that was the man she would remember. Looking up at Ashlee with the hope of understanding she was stunned when the other woman followed Jake to the door. Ashlee was normally the most passive and calm person she knew but there was something about Jake that called out her inner bitch and Ava was slightly afraid of what the younger woman might do after being repeatedly provoked. Hopefully she hadn't been drinking or he might find himself a guest at SF General. The entire time he was there Ashlee hadn't said anything and hadn't meet her eyes. What if he's made her doubt and wonder about me about this? "Doris maybe you should"

"Don't worry whatever she does to him he earned fair and square."

"Olivia!"

"Don't take up for him Natalia she's right he was a complete dickhead"

"A JB more like"

"So not helping mom"

"Nice eye candy Ava but I can tell you didn't spend much time talking to him"

"Doris!!"

The more time Ashlee spent away the more worried Ava became. What if Jake had ruined this for her what if Ashlee wrongly assumed she wanted more than friendship with the bastard. If his arrogance had damaged her relationship with Ashlee in any way she would personally ensure he not even a lifetime subscription to Viagra would help. Beginning to hyperventilate Ava looked up and fell into Ashlee's soft smile. She was leaning in the door way shaking her head. "You promised me an extra special date this weekend so how about me get you released."


	32. Chapter 32

Shortly after Ashlee returned the doctor came to give the final okay for Ava's release but it took another two hour before they were in the back of a car bound for Springfield, Illinois. The ride to the airport was silent except for five minutes of phone tag between Olivia and the Spaulding's flight manager and almost an hour after that they were taxiing out the gate. The midsize jet had a bed on board that Ava and Ashlee lay on and the other two couples dispersed to opposite sides of the plane. Doris and Blake were holding each other close at the front of the cabin when Blake's cellphone rang. While she spoke to her daughter Doris walked to the middle of the cabin to check on the girls. Olivia was already there sitting on the bed talking to Ava. Whatever they discussing seemed heated because the veins in Olivia's neck were standing up and she could tell her friend was holding herself back from throttling her daughter. Ava was sitting up hands folded across her chest shaking her head steadily negating and was no less frustrated than her mother if the way she was digging her nails into her arms was any indication. Although Ashlee had learned a bit more about dealing with strong willed people from Ava she knew enough to pick her battles. There was no reason everyone's blood pressure had to elevate besides she had a suspicion that Olivia had taken it easy on her in respect to her relationship with Ava and no need to make life difficult by pissing off her eventual mother-in-law.

Trying to appear as discrete possible Doris whispered "What's their problem?" into Ashlee's ear.

"Olivia wants Ava to come back to the farm house to recover but Ava's wants to go to the Beacon."

"Maybe she should go. She just got shot she needs" Ashlee turned around with eyes flashing. Oh fuck Doris thought this new Ashlee was going to take some getting used to. Holding her hands up in surrender she added "Fine if you and Ava are intent on staying at the Beacon when both your mothers would be more than happy to take care of you who am I to stop you. Even though you're both hurt and fresh out of the hospital but what do I know." She wasn't the mayor for nothing if bullying wouldn't work she would adapt a new strategy and it was working because Ashlee's face had morphed from angry to apologetic. A quick glance to the middle of the room showed that Olivia could benefit from a couple of lessons. Now Ava was lying flat on her back with eyes closed but her arms still defensively across her chest and lips tightly compressed showed she wasn't exactly relaxing. Olivia was standing up pacing up and down arms flying at her side in hallow attempts to make a point. Give it up Spencer.

"Mom it would just be easier for everyone if we stayed at the Beacon"

"This isn't about easier Ash you both need someone to take care of you. I can understand Ava not wanting to burden her mom and Natalia considering she could give birth at any moment so why don't you all come home with me?" Ashlee's face was a classic picture of shock. "What? I can be nurturing when I want. I took care of you for twenty years didn't I" she huffed forgetting the progress made earlier with the change in tactics.

Hugging her mother tightly Ashlee responded "Mom of course you could take care of us and you are a great mother but" being sure to hold her mother's stare she continued "and please try not to take this the wrong way mom but it would really freak me out knowing my girlfriend slept in your bed a few months ago."

Now sporting her own surprised face "Are you going to hold that against me forever? Jesus it wasn't like I knew then you two were going to get together. I'm happily committed to Blake now and even if I wasn't I would never hurt you that way. God don't you know me any better than that!?" She must gotten more than a little heated because by the end of her tirade both Olivia and an upright Ava were looking at her with raised eyebrows. "I don't remember asking for an audience!"

Pulling her mother out of the room Ashlee continued "Mom of course I know you didn't plan this but its still a little weird."

"So I'm going to be punished for something"

"I'm not punishing you. I'm just saying the first time I make love to my girlfriend I would rather it not be down the hall from our parents jeez"

"You haven't yet?"

"No, we were going to Saturday night."

"You were waiting for?" Doris subtly inquired but she didn't do subtle very well.

"Ava insisted on waiting until we told you if you must know. She hoped it would keep you from going off the deep end. I didn't care because I knew regardless how you reacted I was going to be with her. Last week she changed her mind" walking away and tightly holding herself she continued "I suspect she thought it would be our first and last time because once you knew you would try and keep me from her"

Holding Ashlee from behind "Maybe before you an I started our new relationship I would have. I know I would have but anyone can see how much you both love each other Ashlee. I'm happy for you Ava is a wonderful girl."

"Thanks mom. It won't be awkward forever but I'd rather not compete with you and Blake for who can make the most noise until we have more practice"

"Ashlee!"

Five minutes later she walked back to her section of the plane after checking in on Olivia and Ava. They were hugging when she and Ashlee returned to the room although Olivia's jaw was tighter than she remembered ever seeing it outside the office. Ava meanwhile looked as if she had just come from a yoga lesson. Waiting until Olivia left the room she walked behind her and pulled her to the side. "What's up?"

"Just my pig headed daughter" she ground out. I guess she's still a bit pissed. "She refuses to listen to reason. They were mugged at gun point for Christ sake. She was shot. Natalia and I should be taking care of her."

"They didn't want to stress you because Natalia is about to blow"

"She's my daughter. I can take care of my daughter Doris"

"You can but they don't want you too. Don't get all huffy with me hell I tried to get them to come to my house and that was a wash." She pulled Olivia's arm as she was attempting to reenter the bedroom "Where do you think you're going?"

"If they aren't going to stay with me they are going to stay with you. This is crazy they just got out of the fucking hospital. I swear I will have her in Cedars if they "

"They don't want to make love the first time in their parents house. Shit Ashlee is going to kill me you can't let her know I told you."

"Wait they haven't? Not yet?"

"Would you put a sock in it its supposed to be a secret loud mouth."

"Why not? I mean"

"Ava wanted to wait until they told me just in case I went postal."

"Oh my God they really are in love."

"Yeah I guess it's a Spencer trait sleep with anyone at all no question except your true love that person you make wait for months. Ashlee apparently tried to dissuade her but she held firm."

"We're just complex and complicated women you wouldn't understand Wolfe."

"Thank God for small favors"

Back in the front Blake was already off the phone with Clarissa and she asked "How were Ash and Ava?"

"They are fine its Olivia and I that are having the problems but everything is good. How was Clarissa?"

"In honor of the impromptu sleepover Matt ordered pizza and Buzzburgers so she is very good." Reaching out she pulled Doris down near her. "She told me to tell you hey, so hey"

Leaning her forehead against Blake Doris held the smaller woman close and spoke into her ear "I know you hate being away from her. I'm sorry"

"It's fine babe you needed me and Clarissa was taken care of so of course I was going to be there. How could I not your baby was hurt."

"Still I appreciate it. I'm guessing you'll want to spend the night at home with Clarissa"

Pulling her head back she looked into Doris' eyes "Yeah I wanted to make up for being away from her. I know it was only one night but I don't like to disrupt her routine. You don't mind do you?"

"No of course I don't but I can't lie and say that I don't hate sleeping alone. When we aren't together I spend half the night tossing and turning. I never used to do that. I'm not used to needing someone to fall asleep."

Blake canted her head and pulled even farther back trying to gage the other woman's sincerity. She felt much the same way as Doris except her problem wasn't falling asleep it was staying asleep. Her daughter and her different jobs kept her so busy that when she finally got a chance to lie down she was out. When she wasn't with Doris she went to bed only twenty minutes after Clarissa's nine o'clock bedtime and if there was any way to shorten her nightly routine of preparing for the upcoming day she would love to be in bed sooner than that. However by one or two in the morning she was rolling over reaching out for a soft inviting body and it took her another hour to fall back asleep usually after making her self cum from remembering their nights together. Often she toyed with the idea of calling because she knew Doris was most likely still up but it embarrassed her and she didn't want to scare Doris away with clinging. For Doris to admit this vulnerability was a huge step. "I hate sleeping without you too sweetheart maybe you could spend the night?"

"I never finished the budget" looking to her girlfriend with regret.

"Normally I would offer to come to your house but I think Clarissa needs to sleep in her own bed. You know?"

"Yeah I know" Doris whispered pulling Blake tighter sounding close to tears and hiding her face in Blake's neck she continued "but I'm tired of spending a few nights at your place and a few nights at mine and then a few more alone."

"What's wrong Doris? I thought you were happy with the way things are going? I thought you were happy with us?"

"I am. I'm more than happy. I don't want to be with you only when it's convenient and I don't want Clarissa to spend half her time in my guest room."

"Doris?"

"I, Blake I would really like for you to think about moving in with me or me moving in with you if that's better for Clarissa or even getting a place of our own. I don't care I just don't want to wake up with you only when our schedules allow. I want to pick Clarissa up from all her practices and I want to have dinner every night trying to figure out what the hell you two are talking about. I want Ashlee to come over and watch movies with us. You don't have to decide today. You don't have to decide anytime soon I just want you to know what I want. Baby I want a life with you and Clarissa. I want you two to share my life"

"Yes"

Shocked Doris grabbed Blake by both shoulders pulling her back "yes what?" she asked with cautious happiness. Maybe Blake was only saying yes to thinking about it. It was great wonderful even but maybe.

"Yes I want us in our own house someday."

Deflating softly Doris averted her eyes. That's still a big step she told herself trying not to show her disappointment in her face or tone. "Whenever you think you're ready Blake is perfect."

"Someday we will have house filled with only memories of us but for now I think maybe I should talk it over with Clarissa today and later the three of us could figure out whose house we should stay at. It's her life too."

"Now?"

"Well not now I was thinking next month. Is that too soon?"

"God no" Doris laughed. "You're right. That's perfect" Doris laughed.

"What about Ashlee? Are you going to talk to her about this too? I know she's not going to live with you but she might have some feelings about this. She might not be happy about me and Clarissa living with you."

"That's was the reason I went to talk to her in the first place. I told her I was going to ask you about living together."

"What did she say?"

"She just wanted to make sure there was a guest room for her but not too close to the master bedroom of course."


	33. Chapter 33

Olivia spent the rest of the flight spread out on a sofa at the back of the cabin with Natalia's body tightly wrapped around her own. She was more than a little concerned about the safety of the eight month pregnant Latina but Natalia insisted she was fine. Only after she convinced one of the doctors at the hospital to look her girlfriend over did they finally get in the car to the airport. She settled Natalia and then turned her attention to her other baby but that conversation had made it impossible for her to relax enough to sleep on the ninety minute flight. Ava like always wouldn't listen to reason and refused to come home to the farm house once they returned. Olivia had planned out everything Ava would need during her recovery and had only gone to her ask her daughter if she would prefer a male or female nurse. She'd already called the contractor to install hand rails in the shower. The plane's bedroom door was slightly cracked and after knocking lightly and peeking her head in she found Ava leaning against the headboard with Ashlee moving around the cabin.

"You should be careful Ash you don't want to fall on your wrist and shoulder"

"I've already told her but she insists"

"I'm sorry but I can't just leave this mess on the floor"

"Cursed Puritan work ethic strikes again" Ava laughed

"Ava I was wondering if you had a preference for male or female"

"I'd say that I'm a free spirit who views static sexual orientation as a unnecessary hindrance to love and happiness"

"nurse I was going to say do you prefer a male or female nurse but thank you for that thoughtful and eloquent response"

"Umm I was going to say last I checked you weren't that free" Ashlee chimed in with a pointed look in Ava's direction.

"I was speaking only hypothetically Ash" Ava smiled as she batted her eyes. "Nurse for what mom?"

"For when you come home. I can take care of you most of the time but it might be good to have a nurse come in from time to time to check on" she stopped once she saw both Ava's and Ashlee's eyes slide towards each other and nervous look on their faces.

"What's up?"

Backing out of the room Ashlee offered "Maybe I ought to go to"

"No stay. What's going on you two?"

She saw her daughter take a deep and perhaps steadying breathe and look once again at her girlfriend then back towards her. "Mom Ash and I've decided to stay at the Beacon."

"Well you and Ash decided wrong. You've been shot not less than twenty four hours ago you were in the hospital and twenty fours hours before that you were in an operating room for almost 3 hours to remove a bullet that could have easily killed you. You lost almost three pints of blood and were rushed back in surgery when they noticed you were still hemorrhaging. So I give less than a fuck what you and your girlfriend thought. You are coming home with Natalia and me to recover and Ashlee is more than welcome to join you there if she so chooses" Olivia tried hard to keep her tone even and her voice at a steady conversation level but she could not keep her eyes from pinning both Ava and Ashlee with anger. Ava's face had hardened by the end of the sentence and her hands were now folded across her stomach and she was leveling her own angry stare at her mother. Ashlee's face was flushed lightly pink and her eyes were rounded with apprehension and when she started as if to speak Olivia narrowed her eyes and shook her head. She was already used to being mindful of the girls feeling for Doris' sake but she didn't think even Ashlee's connection to Ava would keep her from snapping if the girl said one wrong thing. "I'd love a tonic and ice Ashlee do you think you check the bar for some?" Neither Ava nor Olivia relented from their stare as Ashlee silently left the cabin and once Olivia heard the closing door she turned around rubbed her temple and silently counted to ten twice.

"Mom"

"Don't. I'm only on eight. Okay tell me why I should let you stay at the Beacon?"

"Let me? Mom in case you've forgotten I'm twenty five a long way past being allowed to do anything."

"In case you've forgotten you were shot so yes if you are going to act like a child then I'm going to treat you like one. Damn it Ava you could have died." Turning around with her eyes red and tears streaming down her face "You could have died and now you want to play house with your fucking girlfriend! You both could be dead or raped or kidnapped or whatever the fuck that idiot could think up." Closing her eyes she inhaled deeply through her nose turned around and leaned her head against the door. "You both need to be taken care of Ava. That's all I want to do"

"Mom I know but you have enough on your plate with Em and Nat. You don't need to add me on top"

Olivia was just about to explode again when the door knob turned and Ashlee retuned with her glass. Taking it with a tight smile that slowly expanded and warmed when she realized the blonde added just a hit of her favorite gin. Obviously her daughter had met her Ms Right. The drink eased a bit of her tension but despite her considerable skills of persuasion she wasn't able to budge Ava. A nice rack didn't exactly aid one when dealing with your own child, fuck. Unable to sleep but much more at ease holding Natalia she thought about what Doris told her. Jesus on a Christmas tree they hadn't ever. How the hell had she held back? Remembering her own twisted road with Natalia she had to smile a bit. Maybe the Spencer's were a crazy lot because as much as she loved craved and lusted for hot wild just out of prison long time and hard labor sex she would have easily given it up if it would have given her Natalia. Thank Jesus Mary Joseph and a manger her baby was a sex kitten. Thinking about that she remembered that they had spent their first night apart since becoming lovers. Time to make up for lost time she purred to herself as she lightly sucked on Natalia's neck but stopped abruptly when she was kicked hard and soundly in the ribs by the baby. Squinting her eyes at the bulge she tried to reposition herself so she was not up smashing the baby and tried again on the same spot. What the fuck? I'm going to get a bruise if the kid kept this up and how the hell was Natalia sleeping through this? She tried an experiment and kissed Natalia's breast and sure enough she was leaning over and the kick was delivered to her breast. Fine! But see if you get that roadster now! And with a huff she finished the rest of her drink.

When the captain announced they had landed Natalia smiled sweetly at her and was a bit perplexed at the scowl her girlfriend was sporting. "Baby?"

"The baby hates me"

"What?"

Pointing towards the stomach in question Olivia mouthed behind a hand "the baby hates me" Laughing Natalia canted her head and asked if her lover had gotten a special prescription for glaucoma while they were in California. "Yuck it up but whenever I tried to make out with you the baby kicked me."

"She was probably tired and was happy for the rest. You keep me up all hours and she probably just realized that people actually sleep through the night" Natalia joked

They decided on the drive home to pick up Emma from Philip's since it was on the way from the airport. Olivia walked towards the mansion as the other women waited in the car. "I hope she hurries" Doris groused from her own car parked behind Olivia's with Ashlee and Ava in her backseat. Both sets of parents wanted to deliver the newest couple to the Beacon and Ava wanted to see her sister immediately after such a long separation. Two minutes later not only did Olivia return with Emma she also had a familiar looking redhead in tow. "Clarissa?"

"They had a half day and she came over with Em after school. Blake's going to be sooo happy" Olivia grinned. She knew that the novelist was a bit leery of her daughter coming under the Spenser charm. The two littlest girls ran off hand and hand towards Doris' car with the redhead leading "Doris I missed you" as she threw herself on the mayor.

"I missed you too cabbage patch"

Watching her mother being so affectionate and soft with the ten year old Ashlee remembered just how much had changed between them before they started on the road to recovery. She was so distant because she was terrified I would hate her Ashlee kept repeating to herself but that knowledge didn't take all the sting out of all those cold lonely years. Once Clarissa saw Ashlee she literally launched herself at the older girl. Cripes on a crutch Ashlee thought as the girl went on and on and on about how much she loved spending the night in her old room. No candy for this one ever.

Emma was no less excited but upon entry she spotted the tell tale hospital bracelet on her sister's wrist and she became quiet. Olivia noticed Emma wasn't her usual self as she buckled them in and was about to comment once she realized Emma's gaze fell to the white band. Shit she's scared of course she is she's seen enough of those on me for a lifetime. Oh bean Olivia thought watching her daughters. "Hey bean what do you say you ride with Natalia and me and we'll all meet up at the Beacon?"

Once they were driving back towards the city Natalia asked "Baby what's the matter?"

"Bean your sister got in an accident but she's fine now sweetheart."

"You promise."

"I sure do. I told you that she's going to help me at work so I can be home with her mama and the baby remember."

That reminded her of the baby and Emma pulled the safety strap away and leaned forward to check if Natalia's stomach was any flatter. "She's still in there Bean" Natalia laughed "just a couple more days and you'll wish she had stayed in there when she keeps you up at night"

Clarissa held Ashlee's hand on one side and Doris' on the other and Ashlee had her other arm wrapped around Ava's waist as they stepped out of the elevator towards the Rivera Spencers'. Emma ran forward and hugged Ava's knees "I missed you" she whispered once Ava bent to kiss her face. "Mommy said you were hurt but you're all better now?"

"I'm much better now that I'm back home with you Jelly"


	34. Chapter 34

hey i first want to thank everyone that's reading the story it's been alot of fun actually. i hope that the story is going in new directions but is still true to character. i hope to end the story very soon im working for friday at the latest because i am moving and i don't know when i'll have the net so if not by friday it will be a while. laterz slf

Ava moved up to the front seat to let Clarissa chatter with Ashlee but the older girl hardly got two words in between the ten year olds two to three sentences. Some might describe the blonde as perky but beside the redhead she was positively sluggish and every now and then Ashlee would crane her neck to catch Ava's eyes and mouthed a silent "help". That Doris was not only able to follow the wandering tangents that Clarissa took was noteworthy but that she could participate and even anticipate in the conversation was astounding and both Ava and Ashlee were greatly impressed. Blake called by the time they left the mansion's grounds to locate her child and Doris offered to take the girl home once Ashlee and Ava were settled at the Beacon. During the twenty minute drive to the hotel Clarissa had voiced her approval of the new joining and happily declared that Ashlee had become the big sister she'd always wanted. Ashlee tried her best to keep the overwhelming sense of doom from showing on her face as the girl listed all the new activities that Ashlee and she could share and when Ava turned backwards to snarkaly congratulate her and Clarissa on the many hours to look forward to together Ashlee intoned that it would only be right for Ava and Emma to tag along. Great the newest baby dyke couple Blake will be so pleased Ava smiled to herself but aloud she assured the pair that she and Emma game.

After the injury and the flight it wasn't as easy as Ava would have liked to unfold herself from the car ride and by the time Doris had gotten out of the car both Clarissa and Ashlee were on either side of her easing her to the entrance. The staff smiled at the newest boss as the group made its way through the lobby but Ava saw the worried glances as they took in her flushed skin and her halting steps as she leaned heavily on the Wolfes. Ava had not expected to be this worn down just from the three minute walk from the car and she worried that if her mother saw her now she'd be lucky if Olivia dragged her to the farm house more likely she'd insist on a trip to the ER. Stopping halfway towards the elevator Ashlee almost tripped and Doris ran into Clarissa. "What the hell?"

"Are you alright baby?" Ava was able to convince the women that she couldn't wait the three minutes it would take to get to her room and they helped her to the lobby's employee restroom. Ashlee made to follow her inside the stall but Ava put her off huffing about lack of privacy. Sitting on the stall inspecting herself in handheld mirror Ava noticed her stark and sweaty skin and the dark circles around the eyes that appeared to have sunken over night. As best she could Ava made her face while trying to make appear natural but Ashlee's knock on the door kept her from inspecting her work until she reached the sinks. "You don't look good Ava. Maybe you should go to the"

"I'm fine" Ava said with asperity but tempered her voice when she looked in the mirror and saw Ashlee's face draw from her harsh tone. Marshalling her most persuasive smile and relaxing her eyes she mentally urged Ashlee to trust her. "Baby I'm tired. It's expected I just got out of the hospital and"

But Ashlee wasn't fooled but it wasn't for lack of her own hopeful and positive thoughts. If there was anyone that wanted Ava as far from any hospital it was her but while she was helping to hold Ava up she could feel Ava's arms trembling with effort and felt the sweat dripping off of her clammy skin. "Ava you were shot. I would love for us to stay at the Beacon baby but if you're still hurt maybe it would be best if you" she tried moving forward to hold Ava close.

"No" Ava turned pulling Ashlee's to her own "Ash your right I'm hurt and I promise to take it easy and relax but I can do that at the room. I can do that with you at the Beacon. I don't need to go to the"

Her head held up but her eyes downcast Ashlee whispered "Ava if something happened to you it would kill me. It would kill your mom and Emma. I think"

"Ash please baby if I don't feel better tomorrow I promise I will go but don't make me go tonight. Please Ash please" and before Ashlee could respond Doris and Clarissa opened the door.

"Anything wrong here?"

Taking a deep breath Ashlee looked to Ava and frowned but when she faced her mother she shook her head saying "She's not allowed to drink two macchiatos without a potty break again." Doris laughed and Clarissa took Ava's hand in sympathy sharing that tea and lemonade made her rush to the potty as well and Ashlee wiped Ava's smiling face. By the time they made it to the elevator Olivia had called all three women's cell phones and left increasingly worried messages and by the time the elevator door opened Doris also was the recipient of a very hostile text.

"I was about to send out a search party" Olivia groused over Ava's head while her daughters reunited.

Doris walked forward smiling "Imagine that Olivia Spencer being impatient? I can't picture it. It boggles the mind"

"I'll boggle your"

Knowing her lover's twisted and very x rated vocabulary Natalia interrupted "Why don't we help Ava inside the room" before Olivia could finish the sentence. Natalia and Olivia had already ordered room service for the couple and as they helped Ava into the bed Olivia was quizzing her daughter on possible health related scenarios.

"Mom if anything happens I will call 911 and you. I'll even promise to give up butter and whole milk and stop, drop, and roll if it will get you to chill out. I'm fine." To which Olivia threatened her daughter with bodily harm should she not be one in good health when they returned.

By this time Doris had cornered her own offspring. "Mom I promise not to overdo it. I promise to rest and take my medicine. I promise to call if either Ava or I start to feel worse." Doris was weakening but narrowed her eyes as she used to with a tricky witness as the DA but relented once Ashlee threw in another "I promise" along with an upraised right hand. The parents looked to each other then switched children to start the process over but only relented when the pair agreed to a check up tomorrow by doctor. Clarissa was completely enthralled but Emma well used to such conversations inspected the food on the delivered tray. Twenty minutes after arriving Ava and Ashlee were inspected one last time by each of the three woman and promised each again they were fine but Clarissa and Emma were more concerned with when the two would be ready to chaperone them to their planned events.

"Maybe you ought to ask for b-12 shots tomorrow" Olivia laughed.

"Oh my God I thought they would never leave" Ava said from the bed. There was a napkin tucked in her pajama shirt and a tray of food was laying across her lap. "You're the one that's going to need the shot. I'm convinced that Blake is some kind of secret speed head that's the only possible way she could keep up with Clarissa. You better hope she shares or" Two minutes after their family left Ashlee was still leaning on the door coming no closer to the bed and making no move forward. Her face was replica of what Ava saw in the mirror earlier in the lobby's restroom but this time her lips were also tightly drawn and her chest was rapidly rising and falling.

"Ava"

"Ash please I'm fine. Do you think I would do anything to jeopardize what we have? Ash if thought I could possibly leave you or my mom and Emma I would"

"You never feel like you're hurt. You think you're invincible Ava that's the problem. You could have bled to death but you wouldn't let the doctors operate until you talked to them about me. You got between me and that gun as if you had some freaking super powers Ava. I am so mad at you right now" If it were possible Ashlee's face was even more constricted and now her limbs were shaking with anger. Although the girl hadn't been drinking as far as she knew Ava realized that Ashlee had an unpredictable temper so she tried to hold the other girls gaze and speak as calmly as possible.

"Ash I'm sorry I scared you but you couldn't expect me to just let that bastard hurt you so I'm not going to apologize for trying to take care of you. I'm sorry for worrying you but I love you so it's my job to take care of you." Ashlee bent her head finally and walked towards the bed holding out her hands and taking Ava in her arms as she lay down beside her careful of the tray between them. Kissing the top of Ava's head and removing the tray and positioning so she was now holding Ava she thought hard before responding.

"I'm not going to lie and say I like what you did Ava. I hate your putting yourself in danger to protect me" and rushed over and through Ava's protestations as if they were never voiced. "but I understand why you did it but you have to realize how it would kill me if I lost you because you refused to let me help you. Ava you want to protect me but you have to let me try and keep you safe. If you can't at least try then I can't do this." Hearing that Ava pulled her head up sharply with tears already spilling over and Ashlee continued as she kissed them away "I can't watch you destroy yourself out of stubborn pride so no more hiding your injuries from me." For the next five minutes she held Ava together as weight of the past days fell pain threatened to break her apart. Ava sobbed as she allowed herself to safely imagine what if and Ashlee's own tears surfaced as she pictured what could have been lost.

The food was cold and they were both in increasing pain as their medications wore off by the time they were calm enough to eat. Struggling from under Ava without injuring either of them Ashlee managed to warm their food and gather and separate their assorted pills. Everything was prepared and she was pouring the water when Ava brought up a topic Ashlee would rather forget. "Are you going to tell me what happened with Jake?"

Screw. Ashlee was proud of herself for not physically flinching and spilling the water as she said "no" then walked back to find Ava's pills not responding to "Ash". Later she walked forward holding the pills in one hand and water in the other. "Ash"

"There is nothing to say Ava. He's a bad memory and good reminder of what you don't have to deal with anymore" Her voice wasn't cracking was it? "You can't take these with dairy so"

"Ash"

With more heat Ashlee groundout "Ava the last thing I want to talk about is your ex-boyfriend." Looking up she tried to lighten her tone with a careful smile "We can talk about him tomorrow if you insist but right now" and after holding Ava's hand the smile warmed and grew "I just want to take care of you and relax. So eat up you have to take this one with food and then I want to hold you all night" Ava fell asleep shortly after eating and Ashlee only had a little difficulty helping her girlfriend prepare for bed after she took her own happy pills. Waking up yesterday had shown Ashlee the extent of her pain without the benefit of medication and she although she was less than prepared to experience that again she halved her recommended dose. Ashlee didn't remember waking up once after she crawled in the sheets after returning from the hospital and she didn't want to chance sleeping through Ava needing her tonight. The heat and jets from the Jacuzzi loosened her muscles but it did nothing for the headache creeping further behind her eyes. Andre Bocelli and Nek played on a Bose sound system and her stomach was comfortably filled but even the knowledge that the woman of her dreams was waiting in bed for her and they would soon be moving forward with full acceptance of their families could quiet his voice. Before Jake got into the elevator leaving her and Ava's life forever he had delighted in telling her in minute detail how Ava responded to him in bed, in the car, at the office, at the movies, at the spa, even in the restroom at the corner coffee shop. He told her about their physical and mental chemistry but of course she knew Ava would be passionate but she worried about her own ability to measure up. Mid wallow she heard a crash from the bedroom and ran out of the expecting to see Ava lying in blood near death's door. What she found was Ava grinning sheepishly at the dumped plate by the bed around a mouth stuffed with an éclair but it was quickly discarded by the plate.

"Oh momma" Ava groaned with wide unblinking eyes that moved slowly across Ashlee's wet and naked skin and the slowly spreading dazed grin made Ashlee think she knew how food must feel when regarded by a starving person.

"You're supposed to be sleeping" Ashlee was freezing and standing buck ass naked in front of her not yet lover but she could not tear her eyes from Ava's ravenous appraisal. Go back to the bathroom, cover up, blink dangit.

"Well then come over here and tuck me in" Ava grinned and as soon as she said this Ashlee ran back inside slamming the bathroom door behind her. Who the hell do I think I am thinking I can be with Ava Peralta? Half an hour later driven out by both cold and hunger Ashlee was hoping to find the other woman asleep. Please if there is a God give me some time to get it together. However as was typical Ava was staring at the door finding her eyes as Ashlee opened the door. "I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"Scaring you with my eye sex"

"I've been jumping you practically every weekend begging like a horny teenage boy if anyone should be apologizing it should be me. Mixed messages much"

"I don't want you to think I'm rushing us or that I'm trying to manipulate you. I can call down and get you another room"

Ashlee hadn't stepped all the way out of the bathroom but after hearing Ava she had to stop herself from bouncing on the bed and grabbing Ava. "No I'm staying with you"

"Maybe I should have gone to my"

"No I'm staying here and so are you"

"Ash I'm not mad I just don't want to make you uncomfortable here with me"

Bending over Ava and taking her in her arms Ashlee whispered "Ava please. I freaked but not because of you I promise I just"

Stroking Ashlee's face and hair the older woman whispered "its fine Ash and there's no pressure I just want"

"I want to make love to you all day Ava. I want to taste you and feel you cuming beneath me. I want to smell you on my skin and hear you moaning my name over and over again. I have months, years worth of fantasies all staring you naked and sweaty any and everywhere I can have you" Ava had the stretched big eyes again but Ashlee plowed on "I'm not scared about wanting you Ava. I I'm just scared I won't be enough for you."


	35. Chapter 35

Although she wanted to be there for Doris and Ashlee at the Beacon her first thoughts after landing were holding Clarissa and making sure she was alright. The constant emotional upheavals of the past two days had her in dire need of the relatively stressless ten year old. Thinking back to her own teenage years Blake knew she better enjoy them while she could because after twelve or thirteen if there was any God at all her baby would be a terror until the day she left for college. Halfway to Matt's she checked her voicemail and heard Clarissa was over her at ex-husband's. Only in Springfield would her life be so intertwined with an ex she didn't even share children with. It would however give her an hour to decompress before confronting the whirlwind that was Clarissa Mahler. There were only a few times that the preteen terror left her feeling overwhelmed and she had knew if she didn't relax soon today would be one. Clarissa could accurately be described as having the energy of sugar and caffeine filled bus load of cheerleaders on their way to a championship game. It was no stretch for Clarissa to discuss nine to ten topics during a single five minute conversation. Some mothers hinted that maybe Blake ought to have her evaluated for Attention Deficit Disorder but Clarissa was having no problems in school nor was it stopping her from keeping friends. Sure she kept Blake and everyone near her on their toes but in all honesty Blake didn't mind. For so long it was only Clarissa's constant demands and energy that kept Blake from slipping into an abyss once Ross died. Trying to keep up with the girl made her so exhausted that by night she was eager for bed instead of sleepless nights watching late night tv because of the thought of laying down alone haunted her. Clarissa kept her mind off of loosing the one man who loved her completely and nagging fears of spending her life alone once her baby was gone.

Walking in the door she immediately felt as she always did a momentary slippage of time. For just a second she it seemed reasonable that Ross would come in later from the office and the past years alone were a nightmare. But that dissonance was lasting for less and less time because there were fewer reminders of the life they shared. Now Clarissa's activities and her own interests filled spaces Ross had taken. Lately as she walked in the door she saw more and more evidence of the town's mayor. Three airplane tickets to Chicago were on still in the envelope from the travel agent on mantel and Aerosmith edition of Guitar Hero was near the console. Doris had a favorite flavor of coffee creamer in the kitchen and in Blake's office she left an extra pair on reading glasses inside the desk. Slowly Doris was becoming the person she worked herself to exhaustion to avoid missing at bedtime. Yeah it was time for them to move forward and widen their relationship to fit a frantic tweener and a soft spoken college student.

"Are Ashlee and Ava going to be okay?" Clarissa asked from the backseat searching Doris' eyes in the rearview mirror. For the first ten minutes after they settled Ava and Ashlee Clarissa had gone on and on and on about her day in school and the games she and Emma played. Negotiating through rush hour traffic and talking on headset to her deputy Doris attempted to also listen to Clarissa. She surprised herself at how well she and the ten year old got along. Doris knew that if she ever wanted a real relationship with Blake she had to get the other woman's daughter to approve. At first she approached it like any other political move. Do what needs to be done to get what she wanted but somehow she started to actually remember who Clarissa's teachers were. Doris knew which girls Clarissa liked and wonder of wonders even knew their faces from dropping her off at school. And the ultimate indicator of her commitment and love for both Mahlers' Doris had even spent a couple of days alone with Clarissa without an emergency involved. On one of their nights spent separately Blake stopped by to pick up a forgotten file but Clarissa asked to spend the night. Fuck me Doris thought while her eyebrows shot up.

"Baby we can stay another night Doris might be busy"

"But momma" Clarissa started with each note going higher and higher almost towards the whiney range.

"No sweetie Doris is"

"She can stay" Doris said surprising all three but especially herself.

"Doris you don't have to do this"

"I want to besides you said you were had a lot of work to do and you were going to have to leave extra early. You can work and not worry about taking care of her. I will" Clarissa had already hugged Blake and jetted up the stairs. Doris could work out the details with her mother. Blake looked not a little worried this was the sort of like leaving your mate alone with your parents for an hour the first time you brought them home, make or break. The biggest surprise was that they had a great time so great that five times since Clarissa had asked to stay with Doris when her mother could not and on two of those occasions she had.

"Yeah patch they are going to be fine"

"Are you going to spend the night with us? It's boring when you're not there"

"Are you calling your mom boring? She'd kill me if I said that" Doris laughed.

"Nooo she's not boring but I I miss you when you're gone so does momma. She tries to act like she's busy but most of the time she's just sitting there looking" Clarissa didn't finish the sentence and looked off deep in thought at the window.

"She's what? What's your mom like when I'm not there?"

Looking down sadly "like before when daddy died and she wasn't working at Company yet."

Blake is going to kill me. Fuck. "Honey how would you feel if you and me and your mom could live together?"

"At your house?" Clarissa looked up starting to bounce in the seats.

Okay note to self never teach this kid about poker. "Well I don't know exactly were we would stay but we would be together"

"Even Ashlee!"

Yeah she was most definitely bopping with energy now. "Um I don't think Ash will babe because she's going off to college but she can have a room"

"Yeahhhh!"

Opening to the door Clarissa ran from the car to the door as usual but she was also doing a little hopping thing reserved for when she was sky rocketing with energy and her smile was looking a little Jokerish. Damn that Spencer mojo I'm going to kill Olivia. Couldn't you wait until she's able to drive Emma. Bracing herself for the crush Blake stooped down to embrace her daughter. Normally hugging a full of energy Clarissa there was always the worry of being knocked over. But now Blake just hoped she wouldn't fall too hard back on the floor and she was totally unprepared when Clarissa took a flying leap forward. Oh my GOD Blake thought as her mind pictured lying in traction for weeks at Cedars. As her life was flashing before her eyes Doris reached up and grabbed Clarissa from behind. Thank you Peter Paul and Mary.

"MOMMMMA!" Clarissa's big eyes shone like the time the waitress accidentally gave her mountain dew. That was a very long ninety minutes. Olivia!

"Cabbage patch why don't you find your connect four game."

Waiting until Clarissa was bolting up the stairs Blake rounded on Doris with attitude "What the hell is up with my kid? Doris you know she can't have any sugar!"

"Are you insane I'd give her a Jack and coke before I gave her a cookie. Listen I have to tell you something and you are going to be pissed but I wasn't doing this to rush you I promise it just came up and it came out. I completely understand if you change your mind but I hope you don't. Even if you are mad you have to know I didn't do this"

"Breathe Doris because you are starting to sound like my daughter. Maybe you ADD is contagious" Blake laughed.

Looking down Doris whispered "I'm sorry"

Grabbing the other woman's hand Blake walked them to the living room and sat them down on the sofa "What's wrong?"

"Promise me you won't break up with me"

"Did you cheat on me?"

"Hell no"

"Did you hurt my daughter?"

"No, what the"

"Did you steal from me?"

"Of course not. I would never do any of those"

"Then whatever's wrong we can handle together I promise"

After a long sigh "I told Clarissa that we were going to move in together"

"That's why she looked like the Tasmanian devil when I opened the door?"

"Yes"

"Then I guess now we only have to decide where to stay until we find a place of our own"


	36. Chapter 36

Emma had just gotten out of the restroom and Natalia was putting her to bed while Olivia worked on the files she picked up from her office after leaving her daughter's hotel room. She knew of course Ava wouldn't want to go back to the hospital. If there was ever an aversion she understood it was to hospitals because she had found almost dying in one a couple of times did that. Yet the thought of her daughter still with seeping bullet holes possibly having sex had her on edge. She knew better than anyone what the possibility of sex could do to someone but would it have killed her to come back to the farm house at least. Ava like herself had a larger than life opinion of her abilities and stamina. An abundance of ego was essential in business and it didn't hurt in pleasure but in a patient it sucked. As she was listing every possible number Ashlee might need in an emergency Olivia spied Ava rolling her eyes and sticking out her tongue to Emma and at that moment she was the closest she had ever been since knowing Ava was her first born of putting her daughter over her knee. That she ignored it and continued without anyone the wiser must be either a sign of growing maturity or complete exhaustion. It was very good that Ashlee seemed genuinely concerned about her daughter's health even if Ava couldn't be bothered to because if the girl hadn't Ava would have spent the night at the farm if she had to tie her up and drag her here. Natalia's influence on her behavior was boundless because even after Ava turned on the tv and increased the volume while Olivia directed the front desk to have a driver on standby should anything happen she never reacted. Everyone in the room other than Ava of course stopped and waited for the fireworks that would have normally followed but Olivia took it in stride. That is until Natalia, Emma, and she got in the car.

"Have you ever seen anyone more ungrateful and as completely selfish as my child?" After which Emma's ears perked up and Olivia shot off "not you Em your hard headed sister." After no response from the audience she resumed "am I the only one that remembers she got shot. Shot Natalia during an armed robbery and she acts as if it's a major inconvenience to follow the doctor's orders." Natalia was about to respond but Olivia continued on "I mean I'm just a hotel owner with no medical experience at all but I don't know it seems reasonable to me to take care of yourself after a three hour surgery. But that's just me!"

Natalia waited a couple of beats after Olivia stopped ranting and opened her mouth but "I swear to God I am not going back to the hospital to sit all day if she gets an infection or something. Since she knows so much why the hell did she even go to the doctor in the first place. I'm sure someone who knows better than a guy who spent what" at this she turned around to engage both Natalia and Emma in the conversation "what ten twelve years of college could have taken care of it herself with a needle and thread."

"Maybe"

"Maybe she wants to impress Ashlee and has completely lost her fu" but mindful of the little person behind her "reaking mind. Standing between a gun like your freaking superman? What is she She'ra or something?!"

"Whose She'ra mom?"

"Before your time Em. The point is"

Olivia had spent the last very stressful forty eight hour without bitching out one person and now that she was venting there didn't seem that it would stop anytime soon so Natalia decided to stifle it at least until Emma wasn't around. "The point is Olivia that Ava is okay. She's fine and Ashlee isn't going to let anything happen to her without calling the proper people."

"Christ I should have put the ambulance service's number on the list. Could you call Ashlee and"

"Olivia if she calls 911 she doesn't need to call anyone else. They are going to be fine sweetheart and Ava is going to the doctor's tomorrow just to make sure." Taking Olivia's hand in her own and stroking her fingers she waited until a red light to turn Olivia's chin towards her face "Baby she is okay I promise. Now lets get home and watch the Princess Protection Program what do you say Bean?" In the seconds before the light turned Olivia could see how stressed her youngest looked after listening to her complain. I never learn do I Olivia thought if I'm not freaking out on Ava I'm completely stressing out Emma. "We could even stop by and get some Buzzburgers and ice cream" and at suggestion Emma nodded her head rapidly and began to look again like a nine year old. Spencer you dumbass why is it that Natalia sometimes knows better than you what's best for your kid.

Natalia made an exception to the rule and allowed dinner in front of the tv since they hadn't spent Sunday together. While Natalia was upstairs changing Emma and Olivia got the tv and food ready. "Bean I'm sorry for upsetting you in the car today"

"I thought you said Ava was going to be okay mommy? Was she supposed to go to the hospital? I don't want Ava to die like Grandpa Alan"

Fuck me. "Come here babe. Ava is going to be fine I just sort of got scared because it really really bothers me when you or your sister isn't feeling well and I can't make you better. So I got a little grouchy but I'm sorry if I scared you though. How about this tomorrow when I take Ava to the doctor you can come too. You'll go a little late to school but then you can see for yourself how she's doing. What do you say?" Emma seemed to settle down even more once she heard this and they spent the next hour and a half looking at a kids story with a huge amount of lesbian undertones Olivia thought or maybe I'm just biased. The burgers were good although fear of heartburn was keeping Natalia from enjoying hers with onions or pickles but she made up for it by taking two and a half helpings of mocha chocolate chip ice cream. After dinner and the movie Emma and Natalia washed and cleared the dishes while Olivia started on paperwork. Before she realized it her watch read ten oclock and Natalia had come downstairs for a final bowl of ice cream. Standing behind her girlfriend and wrapping her arms around her waist she offered "You're never going to get to sleep after eating all that sugar so late"

She had to renegotiate two contracts with major suppliers but all that Olivia could think about after Natalia and Emma went upstairs was how unfamiliar her life was about to be in less than a month. Anger, shame and rage blinded her so during her first pregnancy that she could hardly remember anything else. The first time she felt Ava move inside her she spent over and hour trying to wash away the memory of her conception. With Emma she was more concerned about protecting herself and her child from Spaulding power that each stage of the pregnancy wasn't a joy but a preview of the upcoming custody battle. Some day soon she would look over to and see a baby whose existence could have ended her own. But instead of binding Natalia to Frank this child would anchor her and Natalia's hearts to each other. Would she have Natalia's dimples or her father's floppy hair and more importantly could they show the world through this child proof of their love for each other?

Getting the little girl to bed wasn't an actual problem it was just an exercise in negotiations and Natalia had no doubt that the youngest Spencer was going to follow in the foot steps of business savvy parents and sister. Emma would turn the tv to MSNBC without complaint after she had another slice of apple. Emma would take her bath if she was allowed to pick her own clothes for school. Emma would fall right to sleep if Natalia read her one more chapter of Gulliver's Travels. Unusually these protracted forays amused her step-mother but Natalia had wanted to fall in bed since leaving California but thought it best to try to distract the nine year old from thoughts of her sister. Five pages into the second chapter she noticed that Emma staring off without interest.

"Baby?"

"Mama, um I was wondering something"

Natalia mentally braced herself for heavy questions concerning life and death and hoped that Ava's injury wouldn't prompt the nightmares that had plagued the family for almost two weeks after Alan's death. She considered the nightly terrors a family disturbance because each night after falling asleep Olivia and she were startled awake with horrifying screaming and crying. The first night Olivia had fallen out of bed and only the fact that she had previously gotten up to use the restroom had not caused her to do the same. Olivia bolted towards the hallway and into Emma's room with a baseball bat intent on putting the fear of God into anyone stupid enough to violate her home. Hearing the scream and seeing Olivia so intense was nothing compared to walking into Emma's empty room and all she could think of were the cases of kidnapped children and looking over at her lovers rapidly filling eyes Natalia knew she was thinking the same. Luckily once the bat fell from Olivia's hands Emma ran from her hiding space in the closet scaring a few years off of her parents lives. For the next twelve nights Emma trudged upstairs for bed and by one am was either Olivia or Natalia were bringing her back to their bed for the night. Please God not tonight because I just want to make love my wife and fall asleep and not necessarily in that order Amen.

"What's that honey?" Natalia asked with some trepidation.

"How do you know you're in love?"

"Um I don't know how to explain it Em somehow you know in your heart that this person means more to you than your own life. Why do you ask?"

And for the next ten minutes instead of learning more about the island that Gulliver found himself stranded on Emma and Natalia analyzed both the meaning of love and its characteristics. Although Emma didn't tell her specifically who she thought she was in love with Natalia had a pretty good idea that a certain redhead was going to be a bigger fixture at the farm house and not only because of Doris' relationship with Blake. Trying to keep her face as neutral as possible Natalia couldn't help but worry that her and Olivia's relationship had undue influence. What if she only thinks she likes Clarissa because of us? Had she introduced the girl to lifetime of discrimination and second hand citizenship? Funny looks and blatant stares from the curious and open hostility and the threat of violence from the bigoted. Just as soon as the thought came a clearer voice broke through reminding her how strong and independent the girl was. Emma did what Emma wanted to do. Lord help them all. In the end she had only told Emma to be honest. It seemed as if only a few months ago Emma had come into her life and now her baby was fast becoming an adult. Although her prayer had been answered the sudden realization that soon most of Emma's problems would not be solved with an extra scoop of ice cream tore at her heart.

"I'm going to wake up every fifteen minutes to pee anyway so what's the difference. Might as well have a good reason for not sleeping."

"If you need a reason not to sleep then I'm sure I can think of something to help you work off your sugar rush"


	37. Chapter 37

It took about five minutes of stroking and comforting before Ashlee would pull her face from Ava's shoulder so they could talk face to face. After Ashlee confessed her insecurities she tried to run back into the bathroom but Ava had hung on tight. Only when Ava screamed out loud when Ashlee accidentally bumped her wound did the younger girl stand with her back towards the bed with her head hung low hugging herself. Ava had known that Ashlee might have some apprehension about the physical part of things but was totally unprepared for how shaken she was especially since Ashlee had spent the better part of a month trying to seduce her. How was it possible that the scared little girl shrinking in on herself in the corner was the same woman who had stepped into a shower unannounced last week on the pretext of scrubbing her back. "Ash? Ash please come here and let me hold you. please" It was only after a fourth plea that the blonde came back to the bed but only after retreating back to the bathroom for a robe but again she faced away from Ava and perched on the very edge of the bed as far from Ava's body as possible. Fuck me have I done something to scare her? "Ash please look at me. If I did something or if I said something that upset you" Ashlee hadn't spoken yet and she still seemed miles away but the back of her head was wildly swaying to negate Ava's fears. "Then what's wrong? Ashlee you said that for us to work I had to tell you when I was hurting but the same goes for you babe. Whatever is bothering you you have to share with me. Please" Finally Ashlee turned around and began crying softly on her shoulder. The pressure hurt more than she liked but she was not about to risk Ashlee running away again just because of a little discomfort. Once Ashlee's breathing calmed and no new tears flowed over the hopefully waterproof bandage Ava turned Ashlee's head towards her own and whispered "What's wrong?"

"Ava I, I mean Ava you um" That Ava loved her she had no doubts but would that love be enough if she failed to please Ava sexually? Would a woman as passionate and experienced as Ava stick around while she fumbled around trying to measure up when she could have any man or woman she wanted? Now that she was so close to having the woman of her dreams Ashlee was at a loss to attempting life without Ava but was it fair. There was never a time that anyone ever wondered about Ava's thoughts on any subject. Ava strong and self assured and Ashlee had no doubt that Ava would be just as direct in the bedroom. How was she going to explain her fears without sounding the complete loser? All these worries filled her head until suddenly the softest pair of lips created sweetly brushed her own. "Uh?" Screw what was I about to say?

Laughing Ava reached for Ashlee's hands and held them in her own but she stopped when faced with Ashlee's bright but sad blue eyes. "Ash jus tell me what's wrong"

"What if I can't" the first part of the sentence was pretty clear but the last part was muffled by Ashlee's mouth on her neck. Trying to focus on comforting Ashlee rather than the sensations her moist mouth was causing below her waist Ava pulled away and gathered Ashlee's face in her hands.

"If you can't what? What's going on with you Ash? What has you so scared all of a sudden? We've seen each other naked lots of times. What made you freak out tonight?"

"Jake" Ashlee ground out.

"Jake what the fuck does Jake have to do with anything?!"

"He said that I. He said that I would never be able to please you. That you couldn't possibly be satisfied by someone like me and once you realized that he would take you away from me"

To say that Ava was angry was an understatement Jake was very lucky that there were several large states separating them because if not the SF police department would want to talk to her about more than a mugging. Yes she knew he cared for her and she even counted the jerk a good friend but he could also be a complete asshat when it suited him. Ava knew he was only lashing out but that knowledge didn't make her more understanding. If anyone should be striking out and trying to sabotage relationships it should be her trying to tank his marriage. Once she calmed down she was going to spend a few heated minutes grilling one Jackson Steel but right now reassuring Ashlee was more important. "Ash look at me"

With her head bowed and eyes closed Ashlee mumbled into Ava's palms "You don't have to say anything Ava. I'm going to do my best to"

"Ashlee baby I love you and" but the younger woman continued berating herself without pause so she made a risky but strategic move. Wish me luck "Ashlee Wolfe shut the hell up!" Oh that made an impression and Ava saw a bit of what Jake must have seen that first night in the sushi restaurant. "I mean it no talking you've had your chance now its mine." She hasn't decked me yet but Ava could tell from Ashlee's narrowing eyes that if she didn't clean this up soon she might have more wounds to report tomorrow at her check up. "I love you and only you. I feel more from just kissing you than I have ever felt from having sex with anyone else. You are the other part of my soul Ash you couldn't help but please me as long as you love me with your whole heart"

"But what if I'm no good"

"Honey the only way it wouldn't work between us is if we were scared to tell each other what we really wanted. Do I seem shy at all babe?" Two hours later they were both under the sheets wearing only panties holding each other playing the what if game. Ava knew that Ashlee had some worries but she thought the past two days were filled with enough stress so she tried to lighten the mood. Feeling Ashlee's heart beating from behind and having her arms wrapped around her torso Ava softly asked "What would you do if I just came home from a two week conference. How would you greet me?" By the end of two hours they had both vividly described scenes of passionate love making. How they kept from attacking each other Ava didn't know but even when she used words to paint a picture of waking Ashlee up after a hard night of writing term papers their fingers only lingered lightly over the shoulders and thighs. Somehow without speaking Ava and Ashlee decided to wait until they were both in full health to make love although falling asleep was a heavy chore.

Loud and steady banging on the door accompanied by constant ringing of both Ava and Ashlee's cell phone and the room phone pulled them from sleep, barely. Ashlee sat straight up in bed and almost gave herself whiplash but Ava just buried her head under and extra pillow. What that heck?! It sounded like a swat team was descending on them. She spared a quick look to check the time and was surprised that it was only one but felt as if she had slept for hours. But it wasn't until she heard her mom's voice screaming her name from the other side of the door that Ashlee got up from the bed. When she opened the door after a quick check for nudity that she saw Doris and about six half asleep people inside their hotel room standing outside watching the scene unfold. "Mom?"

Doris pushed her way inside and pulled Ashlee along with her as she tugged at the prone body still in bed. "Ava Ashlee get dressed Olivia needs you to come to the hospital Natalia just went into labor" Doris filled them as they readied. Doris had already gone once to the hospital to take Emma back to Blake's until morning but not before Olivia demanded her eldest daughter's presence. It took them thirty minutes and three sets of hands to get dressed being careful of bruises and injuries and by the time they were leaving the hotel the staff had gathered coffee and sandwiches. Olivia was in bed waiting on Natalia to finish showering when the other woman burst through the bathroom door naked. Olivia was a bit shocked by the over the top performance but she just figured Natalia wanted to be on top tonight. It wasn't until she looked up that she noticed the absolute terror on Natalia's face and reasoned another round of sex wasn't going to happen tonight. By the time she got Natalia ready and bundled up Emma the contractions were already ten minutes a part. Trying her best not to frighten Emma too badly Natalia tried to silenced her pain by moaning into her elbow. They arrived at Cedar's twenty minutes later without causing any serious damage to the car or anything else on the road. Although there were a few near misses as Olivia raced through two stop signs. That Natalia didn't say anything about slowing down and being careful told Olivia just how much pain her lover must be in. Emma was assigned the job of calling Ava and Doris Olivia would call Frank once Natalia was settled at the hospital and leave word with Rafe after the baby was delivered.

"She's not answering mommy"

"Keep trying sweetheart"

By time Doris reached the hospital the contractions were seven minutes a part and Natalia was taken to get prepped while Olivia sat with Emma in the waiting area. The month that Natalia had runaway Olivia looked absolutely horrible and although she didn't look as bad it was very close. Emma was still in pajamas up under the blanket that was wrapped around her and a teddy bear was peaking through the folds "I swear I'm going to bill you for every wrinkle I get from all these middle of the night calls" Both Olivia and Emma looked up and Olivia pulled her into the tightest hug ever. For a chic with a bad heart her grip was fierce.

"I need you to take care of Emma so I can be with Nat and could you please bring Ava here?" The doctor and nurse left the room and Emma said good bye to Nat and whispered a few words and laid a kiss for her sister on Natalia's stomach. As wired as Emma was in the hospital the adrenalin was no match for sleepiness and Doris had to carry her to Blake's guestroom. Blake was already up waiting and made Doris change out of her pajamas into jeans and sweats and promised to be at the hospital once Clarissa and Emma were dressed and fed in the morning. Frank was in the room with Natalia and Olivia by the time Doris, Ava and Ashlee got to the hospital but they saw the rest of the Cooper clan in the waiting room. In less than two minutes Frank was walking out and told Ava that her mother had come out of the room three times looking for her. Just as she was about to push open the door Olivia was pulling it backwards and caught her in a hug. Pulling Ava into the room Olivia checked once more that Natalia was as comfortable as possible before taking Ava to the room's bathroom to talk. "Are you okay with this sweetheart?"

Thinking that Olivia was talking about her injury Ava responded "Of course mom I took a pill before I came and I brought some extras just in case"

"No I mean are you okay with being here since you know" Olivia paused and bit her lower lip.

Biting her own lip it took a moment to figure out what her mother was alluding to "Since Max?" That her mother would consider her feelings about that tragedy almost three years prior in the midst of trying to take care of Natalia and Emma almost blew Ava away. She really does love me Ava thought although she knew it was true even before her flight for San Francisco for treatment but Olivia's concern silenced any lingering doubts that Olivia might still harbor resentment. "I'm fine mom honest but how are you? You're going to be a mommy again in just a few minutes" Ava smiled. Looking at her mother's wife holding the rosary with eyes closed in quiet contemplation Ava kissed her mother's head and then kissed the side of Natalia's turned face. She had realized that the child Natalia held would be her sister but it wasn't until that moment that she felt it. "I'm going to be a big sister again and this time I'm going to be there from the start" Ava whispered to her mother with a smile.


	38. Chapter 38

At seven twenty two the newest member of the Rivera Spencer household was born. Both her mothers were in the delivery room and her father was brought in shortly after she was weighed and cleaned. All the Coopers had gone back home except Frank and Buzz. Blake and the girls walked in carrying hot breakfast for everyone ten minutes after the doctors and the nurses left. Everyone was standing around looking anxiously at the door when Olivia stepped through looking a bit worn but sporting a huge smile and proudly announced "It is my pleasure to introduce everyone to Ms Francesca Marissa Rivera Cooper" For the next twenty minutes everyone fawned over the baby girl with her father's hair but with her mother's curls and her mother's smile but her father's eyes. Frank was holding her and Buzz was making faces trying to coax out a pair of dimples. Emma and Clarissa sat on either side of Natalia quizzing her on the pain and level of grossness of the birth. Ashlee was holding Ava and Blake was helping Natalia get more comfortable. Olivia stood near the door quietly watching and adjusting to the newest tangle in her life.

"So?" Doris asked standing beside her taking everything in.

"So, she's finally here and I get to experience sleep deprivation for the next six months" but the smile on Olivia's face and the awe in her tone softened the sarcastic comment.

Nudging Olivia's elbow Doris asked again without taking her eyes off the baby "So how are you doing really?" Yes Olivia had known that once the baby came Frank would become a permanent feature in her life but it was a big difference in knowing abstractly and having him hold close the child he shared with her lover. Over her dead body was how she put it to Natalia when the woman tried to suggest that Frank join them during the birth but now that the baby was here Doris wondered if Olivia was feeling left out and aimless. The smile Olivia had when she first opened the door was not looking as natural and no longer reached her eyes. "He's the father Olivia but you're the one that's going home with her and Natalia don't forget that." She heard a deep and labored breathe go in and out and saw from her peripheral that Olivia was nodding her head and stepped quickly into the bathroom. A few seconds later the baby started to wail loudly maybe she does have some Spencer in her Doris thought looking at the scowl Francesca was directing at her father. Olivia came out of the bathroom and quickly stepped beside Natalia and helped her get ready to feed Francesca. Once Natalia was ready she scooped the baby from Frank and positioned herself beside mother and child holding the baby tightly between them two. Doris could see that Frank seemed a bit put off by the exclusion but Buzz softly suggested that everyone leave so Natalia could rest and Emma and Clarissa conned Buzz and Frank into taking them to the gift shop. Ava, Ashlee and Blake were reviewing their pictures. They had been in the room less than thirty minutes and the three already had over a hundred images combined.

"I can't believe she's here" Natalia said with a whisper looking over at the sleeping girl that Olivia was attempting to burp.

"I bet you feel like she's here" Olivia laughed stroking Francesca's riotous curls. "After Emma was born I felt like a used tube of tooth paste."

Staring at the baby Natalia chuckled "More like a watermelon pushed through a straw but I'm just so happy she's healthy and safe" but looked up when she heard a sharp in take of air. "Olivia? Baby?"

Wiping her eyes and shaking her head Olivia tried to speak but her throat was tight from holding back tears. "Olivia sweetheart what's wrong? You're not mad or upset are you? You haven't changed your mind about doing this with me?"

"Oh God no Natalia. I'm sorry I just" just as Olivia was about to try and explain the baby looked into her eyes and reached for her fingers and the tears she had been trying to hold in poured out. Moving the baby to Natalia's shoulder Olivia held them both close and when she could talk without her voice hitching she explained "I just was so scared for so long. Scared that you would decide that staying with Frank was best or that you wouldn't want to raise her with me but now she's here and you still want our family it's just a relief."

"You thought I would change my mind?"

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have doubted you I just"

But Natalia's finger on her lips stopped her from talking and kiss that followed almost stopped her from breathing. "I love you and only you and I'm never going to leave you again. You Emma Ava Rafe and Francesca are my family. I know that God intends for me to be with you. He made me for you Olivia"

Soon the nurses returned to take the baby and Natalia and Olivia sat with more in coming visitors. Most were Coopers but a few Beacon staff members came over during break and the room was filling up with flowers from a few ex-husbands and friends. Natalia was emotional even before the extra hormones of pregnancy but when she got an unexpected phone call from her other baby still away at training Olivia thought Natalia was going to set off some medical alarm the way she was bawling. By the time it was four pm everyone especially Natalia and the baby were exhausted so Olivia covertly signaled to Doris and Doris threw everyone out except for Frank although if he didn't take the hint Olivia was going to toss him as well. But once again Buzz stepped in and softly suggested Frank get home and rest. At first it didn't look like he was going to leave and Olivia sat up tensing at the first parental show down but Natalia meekly asked if Frank could go to the farm and check to see if they remembered to lock the doors in their haste to get to the hospital. Frank knew he had been rebuffed and he eyed Olivia to verify the suspicion but she schooled her face to show nothing but gratefulness that he would help. Sooner or later there would be a blow up between he and her it was inevitable but it wouldn't be in front of Natalia and not before she and Natalia spoke to her lawyers. Olivia knew that Natalia would never allow her to hurt Frank but she refused to depend on his generosity where Natalia and the baby were concerned.

Doris gave her car keys to Ashlee and rode with Blake and Clarissa back to the Mahler home and when Blake opened the front door the youngest Mahler raced towards her computer to upload the pictures. "Since the baby's here you know that she's going to want to go over to the farm house all the time now" Doris warned as she sat down watching Blake shift through her mail.

"Like she didn't already want to go because of Emma. I caught them running from the elevator holding hands" Blake added not looking up from her bills. "I tried to pretend I didn't see but Ashlee started laughing"

"And" Doris asked getting up to hold the other woman.

Leaning her head back and to the left to accommodate Doris' kisses to her neck Blake added "and I shot a bird at her" Doris had no problem picturing the petite redhead doing just that. Turning around Blake asked "So where is Clarissa going to be dragging us from every week to see Ms Emma Spaulding?"

"I don't care as long as I'm with you and" but Blake reached behind Doris' head and pushed her head down onto her waiting lips. The kiss was seconds from deepening when they heard a shrill scream from the second floor.

"MOMMAA DORISSS the picturessss!!"

When Doris asked about the cost of a life time supply of Ritalin she had the grace not to seem shocked when Blake slapped the back of her head as she passed her on their way up the stairs. "Damn I'm only asking"

Frank insisted on Ava Ashlee and Emma follow behind him from the hospital to the farm house and demanded they wait until he checked each room although the front and back door were locked once they arrived. Ashlee and Emma fixed the meal as Ava went over the papers Olivia told her about on the desk. Emma spent most of the time showing Ashlee how her mama did things and together they made tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. They ate in silence and not even Emma objected when Ava suggested they take naps shortly afterwards. By the time Ava woke up the sun was no longer shining through the blinds and she was alone in the bed but she could hear occasional yelps bumps and thumps below. Checking the bathroom and Emma's room she found them both empty and she was sure the noises weren't just from the tv. Looking over the railings she saw Clarissa and Emma running around in the living room pulling out dvd cases. Doris was fussing with a delivery boy over whether the 45 minutes included the time on the phone "Give him the money dear" Blake yelled "Yeah mom stop being cheap" Coming further down the stairs Ashlee was pouring the drinks while Blake gathered the plates and napkins.

"Sleeping beauty's awake" Doris groused still a bit pissed that she'd been forced to tip the pimply weasel. "Hope you like your pizza cold" she started but stopped once she saw Blake's raised eyebrow.

"We thought we'd see how you all were doing so we stopped by" Blake offered putting plates and napkins on the dinning room table.

"More like Clarissa wouldn't stop bugging us until we" but again Doris stopped when Blake not only raised the brow but bit her lip and not in the lets have sex way either. "Who likes mushrooms!" They watched part of a Jonas episode until Doris pretended to poke her eyeballs with a fork and then Blake took her to the kitchen for a few minutes. Clarissa and Emma thought she'd gotten in trouble and Ava knew from the skewed direction of her and Blake's hair and tops that trouble was exactly what she'd gotten. Lucky dog. Ashlee made a gagging sound and promptly got Emma to hook up Wii bowling before she forced herself to disinfect the kitchen.

Olivia was just waking from her nap by the time the nurse brought dinner. Lying still she made sure Natalia was asleep before leaning over to check on the baby. Francesca was on her stomach with both eyes open yawning as if bored and waiting on the show to get moving. I spent almost nine months cramped waiting for this? Sheesh. Maneuvering from behind Natalia Olivia took the baby in her arms and walked in circles around the room. No matter how many times she imagined this scene Olivia could never get past the doctors handing the baby to a smiling Natalia. Now that she'd told her lover the truth she could finally allow herself picture the dark ending she half expected. Somehow despite her best attempts Frank and Natalia's eyes would meet as they looked at their child and it would click. The heavens would part and harps would play and a tearful and apologetic Natalia would explain that she now understood God wanted her to raise her child with the father. Everything they had built over the past three months would be pushed aside as hormonal foolishness. Her fear of losing Natalia kept Frank out during the delivery. Now that she knew her place with Natalia was secure she kind of felt bad she'd excluded him. A slight kick in the breast made her look down and she swore she saw the baby sporting a single raised eye brow as if to say yeah right lady. I was just born and even I'm not buying that. "Okay Olivia you officially have lost it."

"Well when you find it could you bring it and yourself back here to bed" Natalia's breast were filling again and the pressure woke her up. Reaching up she undid her shirt and started to rub oil on to her tender nipples.

"Keep doing that and you'll have to hire someone to drag me kicking and screaming from the bed"

Looking up smiling Natalia expected to see the usual sexy and sophisticated leer but Olivia had a positively famished look and there were hints of drool at the corners of her mouth. "Um these are for the baby exclusively for the next six weeks after that we can discuss cosigning options."

"Oh there are some options I'd like to discuss"


	39. Chapter 39

Five years later

Olivia and Natalia sat in the waiting room filled with more family and friends than Olivia felt comfortable with especially considering that included one ex-husband and one current pain in the ass. Natalia was trying her best to feed Stino the rest of his string beans but the two year old wasn't having it. Although he loved his Abuela very much there were things even she couldn't get him to do. As her wife was fussing with him Olivia was warning five year old Fancy from running through the halls after six year old Colin. She had tried calling Francesca Rissa but often instead of bring her daughter Clarissa Mahler would turn towards her as it was the name Emma gave her. So Fancy it was. Living in such a small town it was inevitable that lives merged but if this crush Fancy had for Colin didn't waver soon she didn't think she could stand an even closer relationship with Reva than they had now. The bitch just wouldn't die. Fourteen year old Emma and fifteen year old Clarissa were bent over an ipod sharing ear buds listening to music she hoped. Last week Natalia walked into Emma's room to put her laundry away and was almost knocked over by the two girls scrambling off the bed and trying to straightening their clothes. The two were sitting on the sofa in the living room with an entire seat cushion separating them by the time Olivia came home. Later that night Olivia Natalia Blake and Doris sat down and laid down some ground rules for the pair. Hopefully they had covered everything but she had a feeling Emma had already started looking for loopholes. Rafe was standing outside the door in the hall talking on the phone to his girlfriend. Looking over her family Olivia couldn't believe how the passing years had changed everything. Six years ago she was sure the rest of her life would be a lonely misery and now she had more than she had ever dreamed even on those dark days in San Cristobal.

No one had come out yet but waiting patiently had never been a great skill of Olivia's so she scooped up her grandson still with food stains covering him and walked towards the door but turned when she heard her wife ask for a soda if she was going down stairs. Now everyone's head picked up and eyes twinkled. Great I guess I'm doing a food run. "Anybody else want something while I'm down there?" Everyone wanted at least one thing and everyone forked over cash except Doris who had to be the worst cheapskate ever. "How the hell do you expect me to carry a tray of nachos and all the rest of the stuff with Stino?"

"Well you're the one that asked jeez" she huffed with indignation and then got kinda pissed when Blake leaned over to kiss the baby and politely shoved Doris to help her fellow in law. "Look what you got me into Spencer" at that their grand son turned up his halo of dark curls towards Doris as she took him from Olivia's arms. "Not you babe. The other one". Kissing his nose she realized too late why Olivia was holding him so he faced forward. Her entire shirt was covered in pink and greenish yellow goo. Olivia just smiled and winked her eyes.

"Da uder one" Augustino Spencer Wolfe Peralta echoed.

Looking her friend and in law in the eye Doris added "If a certain someone wasn't repeating every word he heard I'd share a few things with you right now"

"Now now you don't want to lose your visitation privileges again do you?" Almost a month ago Ava and Ashlee let Doris and Blake keep Stino for the weekend while they attended a concert in Chicago. The two grandparents thought the baby was asleep in his room all tucked in and a later check that night found him on top of the covers snoring. However it wasn't until Sunday evening when Ava and Ashlee were back and everyone was having dinner that Stino began making weird sounds. At first they just chocked it up to a two year old playing but when Clarissa spit her soda out with laughter they listened closer. Apparently he was saying "buck me buck me" over and over again. Ashlee was mortified and picked up her child and the car keys without waiting for an explanation. Ava was almost rolling on the floor with laughter. Blake covered her face with her hands and Doris just sat at the table mouth wide in shock. Ava finally left once Ashlee blew the horn from the driveway. Ashlee hadn't stopped her mother and Blake from visiting Stino and had even let him stay over provided they promised never to have sex with him in the house ever. Ava called her mother from the car and Olivia had teased the pair ever since. Even going so far as to type out Buck you on Doris' and Blake's paper napkin the next time they had a family picnic. Ashlee still wasn't amused.

Ava and Ashlee married shortly before the younger woman graduated from Northwestern but hadn't taken a honeymoon because she was enrolled in the graduate program the semester following. The next year they contemplated ideas about what type of sperm to pick for the artificial insemination. Ava would carry since Ashlee was swamped with school and being a teaching assistant at her university. On the day they were about to buy the agreed upon vial Rafe dropped by the Beacon to say hello to his big sister and friend and during the meal Ashlee excused them both to the restroom. "Him"

"What?"

"Why not Rafe? He's great looking good hair nice teeth good genes. I want Rafe"

"Are you insane he's my step-brother in law or something"

"Exactly" Over the rest of the meal Rafe listened to the two women attempt to sell him on using his sperm. When he held his hands up interrupting them to make his own retreat to the restroom Ava was sure she was going to hear screaming from both her mom and Natalia over this but by the time he came back to the seat he was ready to drop his load. So to speak. Ten months later after tests and conferences with lawyers Ava and Ashlee were pregnant. They didn't tell anyone in the family even after the birth but once Natalia walked into the room and saw the baby she dropped the gift basket she was holding and looked from Ava to Ashlee and turned around to see her blushing son in the background. Olivia rushed to put her in a chair but Natalia was having none of it. She kicked everyone out of the room except the three involved along with the baby of course. Everyone was wondering what the hell ticked her off but it wasn't until they took the baby home with both sets of grandparents close that Ava and Ashlee disclosed the donor. Rafe signed away his rights and was committed to being the best uncle the boy would ever want.

Other than that footnote the pregnancy was relatively stress free. Ava had transferred to the Beacon's Chicago office to be closer to Ashlee but they still got home to see their parents at least every other weekend unless Ashlee was busy with school or work then Ava would make the trek alone until she was six and a half months and all parents and in law and wives vetoed her traveling days. The eighth month Ashlee's classes were over and Ava took maternity leave and the couple stayed in Springfield's Beacon. It was easier for everyone considering they both had controlling and over baring mothers who insisted on being as involved as possible in the pregnancy. Olivia and Doris spent hours quizzing and schooling the couple on any possible event that could threaten the birth of their first grandchild. Sometimes Ava just wanted to pretend she wasn't in but Ashlee just reminded her that they would just get the key from the front desk staff.

"What are you going to do about your kid Spencer? Titus simply helped Rissa up from the stands and your ruffian slapped him in the back of the head" Doris' words were belied by a smirk that slid into a full grin.

"Well if your kid didn't get all worked up over stuff like that I'm sure Em would behave" Doris had vaguely mentioned running for governor and since she had been elected for mayor twice. Any move out of the city would be traumatic for both households and she could picture her daughter convincing Clarissa to runaway or something just as impulsive and reckless. Emma was a smart and good girl in everyway unless it involved the redhead. God they didn't even have their licenses yet. Blake was considering letting the girl stay with her mother who had recently returned to Springfield but it was still up in the air.

Walking back into the room and helping Stino pass out the goods Doris changed shirts and Olivia briefly caught Reva's not so subtle head nod. Shit. Returning her grandson to his waiting beans Olivia walked outside with her sometimes associate. "Yep?" She was trying her best to make a shitty situation work. Sure she no longer wanted Josh and was ecstatically happy with her life but other woman still irked her. The two times she really thought she wanted a man the bitch had taken both. If that wasn't bad enough the skank had a kid with her kid's father linking them forever. Not that she didn't like Colin he was a sweetie but he would be even better if his mother wasn't one Reva Shane Lewis. But she reminded herself again that this trouble maker had saved her daughter more than once. After Ava and Ashlee took Stino back to Chicago and resumed their life they abruptly returned in two months. Ashlee said it was because she needed a break from school and work to concentrate on her family but Ava didn't really say anything at all. Natalia and Emma remarked that Ava seemed thinner than normal but Olivia just thought it was because they were used to seeing her pregnant. Ava never came to the Spencer Wolfe dinners because Ashlee said she was busy working on future franchises for the Beacon. Ava never answered her phone or returned calls but Ashlee was seen at all hours carrying the baby while shopping for groceries and picking up the dry cleaning. For almost another month Olivia didn't see and hardly ever spoke to her daughter. Whenever she called Ava had just gone to sleep and when she dropped by she was forever taking a shower but the baby was always in Ashlee's arms. Natalia mentioned missing Ava and Olivia got into her car intent on seeing her daughter that very day.

"Olivia hey I would invite you in but the baby's sick."

"Where is my daughter Ashlee?"

"What? Ava's here what are you talking about?"

"I never see her. I've come here every week this month and you always give me some excuse but I'm going to see my daughter today or I swear to God I'm calling the police. I want my daughter now Ashlee so don't fuck with me" Olivia liked Ashlee she even loved the girl and that love was the only thing that was keeping her from pushing her away in the house screaming for Ava. Looking her in the eye Ashlee made a deep sigh and opened the door. Inside she found her baby about twenty pounds lighter huddled under the blankets crying looking like she hadn't gotten out of the bed since moving in the house three months ago.

"She refuses to go to the doctor. She keeps saying that they are going to lock her up and I'll leave and take Agustino from her. I've told her I would never do that. I promised her I would even go with her if it would help but she's scared. I don't know what to do anymore. I thought being here would make things easier but she's getting worse. I don't know what to do" Ava's eyes were open but she didn't react at all to what her wife was saying. Ashlee told Olivia that she had been taking care of the baby and Ava since almost the day they returned from the hospital. At first Ashlee thought it was just a baby blues but then Ava refused to touch the baby out of worry her love would contaminate him. She had terrible dreams about Max and loosing this son as well. Staying in Chicago without help was impossible not to mention studying and working as well. It took everything she had to bathe, dress and feed the three of them each day. That Ava had stopped letting Ashlee touch her recently as well was more than she could tell her mother in law without breaking down. Natalia Blake and Doris were over to the house with Olivia and Ashlee three hours later taking care of the baby while Ashlee slept and Ava lay in bed crying. No one knew what to do but everyone knew Ava couldn't continue as she was without taking Ashlee and the baby down with her. Blake suggested a nanny but it wouldn't solve the bigger problem. Finally Doris asked about the hospital Ava visited during her depression after having Max. Olivia screamed and threatened vowing to destroy anyone that tried to lock away her child or separate Ava from her son.

"Ava needs help Olivia. If love and support were enough Ashlee would have beat this months ago. She needs to be treated by professionals honey. Olivia she needs you to help her and washing her and force feeding her isn't enough" After listening to the other women Olivia called Reva and arranged for Ava to return to the psychiatric hospital in Chicago. The Spencer Rivera's and the Wolfe Mahler's households took turns caring for Stino for the six weeks that his parents were away. They had dinner together every Sunday to switch homes as they comforted each other through their pains and fears. So Olivia had some grudging respect for the other woman but she wasn't about to let it show too much.

"I just wanted to check up and make sure Ava's as healthy as she seems." After Ava and Ashlee came back Ava shared that she had been suffering from Prepartum Depression for the last two months before having the baby. She hoped that after the birth the feelings would go away but they grew and threatened to swallow her whole and by the time Olivia found her she had planned to kill herself the first time Ashlee left her alone. Hearing those words from her baby Olivia's knees buckled and Ashlee had to excuse herself to throw up in the restroom. The medication she was on and the therapy she still continued were helping but the fact that her family stood by her was what got her through Ava stated. Her team felt that Ava might be just prone to severe depression as a result of pregnancy and advised her never to have another without constant supervision. Olivia was about to respond when the door opened and Fancy told her that Ava was back. "Mommy Ava's back the baby's here" she beamed.

"Hey everyone first I want to say thank you for being here and taking care of my little monster."

"I not a monster momma I a big boy" Stino promptly replied to laughs and claps.

"That's right Stino you're abuela's big boy."

"How are my daughter and my grandchild Spencer, and not you Stino the other one"

"Ash is fine and in a few minutes I'll introduce everyone to the new additions but first you come here Cookie Monster I have some folks I want you to meet"

"Did she say folks? Did they have more than one kid?"

"Ashlee wouldn't dare keep this from me. It had to be your kid's influence Spencer." Everyone started debating trying to figure out exactly what Ava meant and when the doctors left they smiled and refused to answer any questions. "I could be your governor guy"

Natalia who was usually the most calm and reasonable out of the four parents stood up and was about to open the door when Ava pulled her inside. "Couldn't wait uh granny?"

"That's abuela to you right Stino" and grabbed the little boy from his mother. As they walked in there was one pink blanket in Ashlee's arms and a blue one in the bassinet.

"Everyone I would like to introduce you to Catherine and Jeffrey Spencer Wolfe Peralta."


	40. Chapter 40

One Year Later

They were at the farm house and most of the children were running around outside trying their best to get away from the entertainment that Doris had arraigned. How was she to know kids hated clowns. Ten year old Sarah and her seven year old nephew Colin were playing keep away with the Frisbee irritating a six year old Francesca. Three year old Augstino was harassing the lone duck that had not flown away for the winter while his Uncle Rafe and Aunt Sherry watched laughing. Rafe was trying to keeping eyes on Stino as well as his three month pregnant wife. They hadn't told anyone about the baby yet but planned to announce it at the final dinner before everyone dispersed back to their lives outside of Springfield's city limits. Reva Josh and Blake were competing at horseshoes but were pretending that they were reassuring the screaming one and two year old toddlers at the twins birthday party.

Emma and Clarissa sat at the docks farther away from the noise of the children. Emma had been holding Clarissa's hands as they talked but the subject had gotten heated and the fifteen year old was standing with her back towards her girlfriend skipping stones off the lake's surface. "Emma what do you want me to do? He already asked and you said that you weren't going to go" Although Emma's Spencer and Spaulding temper had been modified some by her mama's even disposition she was still her mother's and father's child but she had learned several months ago after cursing at Clarissa that it was easier just to be quiet sometimes than to risk seeing the redhead's tears. "Em of course I'd rather go with you but I'm a co-captain of the squad I have to go to homecoming." Although they had confessed their feelings for each other last year they hadn't actually ever started dating. At first they thought it was just adolescence curiosity and feared loosing the friendship they shared for the sake of an experiment. However once it was clear that Clarissa could possibly move to Washington when Doris considered running for the House Emma rushed to convey the extent of her feelings. In the end Doris was appointed as state attorney general but that was three weeks after Clarissa already accepted Timothy Lowe's invitation and four days before Emma asked Clarissa to be her girlfriend. "Em" Emma turned to say something to Clarissa when she heard her mama and Blake yelling for everyone to gather to sing happy birthday.

Grabbing Clarissa's hand and helping her to stand up Emma kissed Clarissa's cheek and responded "We'll think of something Rissa okay? Don't worry. We better get to the house we before the munchkins slobber all over the cake" With that the two raced still holding hand to the imaginary finish line.

Doris had given up trying to coax anyone to get a balloon animal from Happy and sent the clown on his way three hours early. Happy the favorite clown of Springfield my ass. The jumpy castle she rented was a massive success although she was told by her Spencer that if any kids got hurt it was her name on the contract. So she conned Sam and his delightful wife into monitoring with her. The last thing she needed was to have a class action lawsuit from her grandkids' birthday party.

Natalia had insisted on baking everything although Ava and Ashlee were more than happy to pay for a caterer. For the past weekend the kitchen at the farmhouse was off limits to everyone especially her junk food fiend wife. They drew up a contract and everything and Natalia did everything short of bolting the oven door to keep Olivia from sneaking misshapen cookies extra icing and hidden cupcakes. It hadn't been easy but food was the one way that Natalia had always expressed her love and devotion so she wanted and needed to make her nietos first birthday special.

Olivia helped her daughter not only get the Frisbee but also hide it from Colin and Sarah. The little girl had grown so much in the past year it constantly amazed her. Being the only baby for five years she was used to being the center of attention not only at her mother's house but also at her dad's. When Stino first arrived it took her almost a month to warm to him and whenever Olivia or Natalia or even Emma held him she demanded to be held right after they put him down. Ava and Ashlee had to immediately give Stino up the second they walked in the door and gather her in their arms if they didn't want to be ignored for the weekend they visited. She hadn't tried to flush or hide him only because they never left the two alone. Olivia saw the wheels turning in her baby's head and knew better than to tempt Fancy pants. Now that she'd gotten used to the three year old terror she even asked about him when he was gone for longer than the usual two weeks. Francesca still preferred him to be at his own home when she tried to do her homework but he wasn't absolutely horrible.

Sitting around the huge cake Ava held blonde haired green eyed Jeffrey and Ashlee held brown haired blue eyed Catherine trying to keep their hands clear of the cake and the drool to a minimum. Olivia held brown haired brown eyed Stino close enough so that he might think it was his cake as well but far enough away to limit any damage he might inflict. Knowing that they wanted more children and that Ashlee would have to be the carrier Ava and Ashlee approached the only Spencer male in the family Sam. It had taken two attempts before success and they had a spare specimen should they ever desire another. As it was the three year old and two one year olds were keeping not only their parents and grandparents busy they also had their uncles and aunts hopping as well. Three hours and one upset stomach later the Lewis's were gone home and Sam and Rafe had taken their wives out to dinner and a movie in town. Emma and Clarissa were watching a movie and Stino was playing with the box his brother's gift came in and the twins were napping in their pen in the middle of the floor.

"Hey Bean could you and Rissa keep the kids for a minute while Ash and I talk to the parentals?" Oh no Doris and Olivia thought sharing knowing glances as their daughters walked outside house to sit on the porch. Blake and Natalia shared their own glance and each couple took a section of the furniture and turned to a nervous looking Ashlee and Ava.

"Spill" Natalia said breaking the tense silence.

"It's not like its bad or anything." Ashlee started

"Then what is it like Ash because right now it feels like you and Ava have something important to say"

Ava pulled Ashlee down in her spot on the bench and stood up with her head up towards her parents. "There is no easy was to say this so I'm just going to say it"

"Oh God you're getting a divorce or something" Blake shot off standing up with worry

"You're what?!!" Olivia, Doris and Natalia said all together with voices raising. ""I swear to God Spencer if you"

"We are not getting a divorce Cripes we're just moving."

"Moving?" Natalia said softly "Moving where?"

"To New York"

"New York?!"

"Well isn't that better than getting a divorce"

"Not much better damn it"

"Mom"

"Ash got a position at NYC with an option for tenure. She's been wanting something like this forever and she finally got a response. They even allow her time for researching as well. This is a huge accomplishment for her. For us"

"I really wanted to teach college and I thought I'd have to settle for community college I never dreamed I'd be teaching at NYU" No one said anything so Ashlee stood and held her wife's hand to continue. "I know that you all are going to miss the babies and us but it's only two and a half hours away by plane. I'm going to get small vacations all the time hopefully and you guys can always come see us."

"wow" Natalia said with shock. Ava and Ashlee were taking her family to the other side of the country. Yes they had moved back to Chicago once Ava was safe again but to move to all the way to New York?

"Mom?"

"It's great news you two. Once you get settled in you know Clarissa is going to want to take a shopping trip there every other month." Blake laughed trying to force through the pain.

"Just as long as its your money she's spending I'm cool with it" Doris joined in.

"What are you talking about your money is my money dear"

Natalia added with a forced laugh "In that case you two can take Emma along"

Olivia still had not said anything and Ashlee looked to see how Ava was fairing. "Mom"

"Wow, when do you leave?"

"I don't start until the summer semester after the 4th of July so we thought if we started looking now we would have something by May"

"The house will be ready but we aren't going move out there until the last two weeks in June and we will come back for the fireworks and barbeques mom."

"Wow"

"Mom I can work on bringing the Beacon to the east coast." Once all the question were settled everyone but Ava and Olivia went inside to watch the recording of the day's events. "Mom?"

"I'm sorry I guess I should have known that sooner or later you would want to break out and make a name for yourself. But I don't want the babies to forget about us"

"Mom I'm not leaving forever Jesus. I'll be here all the time for work and vacations. You'll get tired of seeing us schlepping all the kids stuff from the Beacon to Doris' from Doris' to the farm house. I promise" Just as expected Emma and Clarissa were far more excited about the endless possibilities of having their sisters living in the Big Apple. They had Ava and Ashlee agreeing to host them for two weeks once the house was finally put together. The adults tried to concentrate on the time they still had with the family before they left the state. To be fair it was still five months away but each imagined how much each child could change in that time. Doris got props from the other mothers for convincing the couple to spend their final two months in Springfield rather than sit in an empty house in Chicago. She wasn't the state AG for nothing.

Doris Blake and Clarissa left soon after the movie was finished but not before the young girl informed her girlfriend that she called Timothy and set him up with Shawn Meadows for homecoming. She was now free to be escorted by Emma if she had any interest in attending. Clarissa wasn't able to get the complete sentence out before Emma grabbed her by the neck and softly kissed her but ever mindful of the parental units. Stino begged to go home with his grandmas and since he called all the women grandma except Natalia who he called grandma in Spanish they assumed he meant Doris and Blake. Emma skipped up the stairs to bed and Fancy was spending the night with Frank and his wife. Natalia and Olivia offered to watch the twins while Ava and Ashlee took a stroll around the farmhouse. By the time Olivia and Natalia were ready for bed Olivia was still quietly considering the changes in her life. "They are going to be back. Stino alone will have them coming back once a month. You know that kid"

"I know I was just thinking the day I finally moved back here and we became a family"

"What about that day sweetheart"

Turning to face her wife Olivia took her in her arms and smiled "I said you made us a family"

"We made us a family. We did that"

The end


End file.
